(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	irised 2009-12-29 12:01 am UTC (link)
	Oh, how romantic! And if they were dolphins instead of sharks, he would die in a way they couldn't ever print on his headstone. disclaimer: I'm not wishing death on him. But someone once told me that the force of dolphin ejaculate could blow your head off and, true or not, that is an image that has never left my mind... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	louifee 2009-12-29 01:06 am UTC (link)
	http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html Apparently it's true! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Prehensile penises. irised 2009-12-29 02:10 am UTC (link)
	PREHENSILE PENISES. Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with? A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. LOL Oh my god. I think I love you, and also, FW. Imagine a happy dolphin sighting trip with all the family, and then little Timmy sees a dolphin zooming around carrying things clutched in his erect penis ... "mommy, I wanna try that!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Prehensile penises. louifee 2009-12-29 02:15 am UTC (link)
	I love the QnA - just in case you wanted to try for yourself! Haha oh god, I can imagine the parents' horrified looks now...and then the letter campaign! (now with more facebook groups!) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Prehensile penises.

irised
2009-12-29 02:34 am UTC (link)

I'm surprised there weren't airline style diagrams XD

Oh shhhiiiit I was just thinking of possible facebook group names, typed out Stop Dolphins From Raping My Children's Eyes and then realised, well, considering they're known when horny to rape any available orifice of random unlucky fishes ... DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD: STOP MY BRAIN I WANT TO GET OFF OH GOD WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Prehensile penises. louifee 2009-12-29 02:36 am UTC (link)
	Oh god, diagrams! x.O BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF HILARIOUS in a trainwrecky way. So the FB group would then just be "Stop Dolphins From Raping My Children"? How would they even do that (without just killing them off)?! Haha. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Prehensile penises.

irised
2009-12-29 02:46 am UTC (link)

Like you know, I'm imagining those hand symbols for like when you're drying your hands, except instead of a dryer, it's a dolphin's slit.

Honestly, now I'm thinking about how the female dolphin was able to engulf his entire foot while horny and, well lets just say with the places my mind is going the facebook group titles would just be like IGOJ57843blds0TGMIPREAG,EWROUIT;QR

Help, I need an intervention ;_;

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Prehensile penises. -

louifee, 2009-12-29 03:15 am UTC

Re: Prehensile penises. -

irised, 2009-12-29 03:56 am UTC

	ickle_snowflake 2009-12-29 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	You know what's horrifying? At some point someone is going to say something to me where these new learnings are relevant, and I will probably respond without thinking (as I often do) and then have to explain how I know about dolphin sex... Life with a memory for odd trivia was so much easier before the internet. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	louifee 2009-12-30 12:51 am UTC (link)
	Or is it easier? "I stumbled across it on the internet and couldn't click away...trainwreck syndrome, y'know?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ickle_snowflake 2009-12-31 02:27 am UTC (link)
	IDK, I'd get away with that with some, but my mum would probably be like "What were you doing that you stumbled into zoophilia...? Hon, if you need to tell me you're a furry... just know we'll love you no matter what." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	louifee 2009-12-31 02:30 am UTC (link)
	Ahhh, see, most of the people I interact with don't have any idea of what a furry is. And if they do, they know what FW is, and that works just as well "yeah it was in a comment on FW and you know how I can't resist clicking things. No idea how it got to zoophilia, but..." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ickle_snowflake 2009-12-31 02:39 am UTC (link)
	Oh god, it's bad enough that she knows what my LJ name is and discusses e-fights I've gotten into in real life, if she found here I'd have no escape. And no man (or woman) should have orca stacking come up in conversation while having lunch with their parents, that's cruel and unusual fucking punishment. XP (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

louifee, 2009-12-31 02:41 am UTC

(no subject) -

ickle_snowflake, 2009-12-31 02:47 am UTC

(no subject) -

louifee, 2009-12-31 02:48 am UTC

(no subject) -

ickle_snowflake, 2009-12-31 03:11 am UTC

(no subject) -

eilisliana, 2009-12-31 03:25 am UTC

(no subject) -

louifee, 2009-12-31 03:27 am UTC

	eilisliana 2009-12-30 01:57 am UTC (link)
	I agree, I get odd looks from extended family often for my 'interesting' trivia learnings. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ickle_snowflake 2009-12-31 02:29 am UTC (link)
	"Apparently dolphins' bellies go pink if they're turned on... did I just say that out loud?" (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tetradecimal 2009-12-29 01:10 am UTC (link)
	Great, now I'll fear dolphin spooge forever. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2009-12-29 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Tangentally related: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim. I'm trying to work out a dolphin version but damned if I can think of a decent punchline ... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tetradecimal 2009-12-29 02:19 am UTC (link)
	sobs quietly in a corner My childhood... my beautiful childhood. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2009-12-29 02:22 am UTC (link)
	Awww. So you won't want to hear the one about Cinderella then :D Look! Adorbable baby Tapir!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cinnamonical 2009-12-29 10:58 am UTC (link)
	Tangentally related: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim. I laughed way too fucking hard at that. I am a bad person ~~which is why I'm here on FW~~. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2009-12-29 11:06 am UTC (link)
	I find it's best to tell it at the tail end of a whole lot of really innocuous elephant jokes, like the ones about how does an elephant hide in various fruit patches, what happens when it gets inside your fridge, how does it fit in a mini* etc :D *two in the front, two in the back! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kumquat_of_doom 2009-12-29 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	I just laughed way too damn hard at that. ...And then went downstairs to tell my father. The look on his face when he got it was fucking priceless. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2009-12-30 06:04 am UTC (link)
	That is awesome. I love it when it sneaks up on people. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sylvacoer 2009-12-30 05:56 am UTC (link)
	... ... ... ... oh hey, I just got it! :D ... 8X... XDDDDDDD (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2009-12-30 06:02 am UTC (link)
	LOL Best. Reaction. Yet. Share it with your family! :D (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sylvacoer 2009-12-30 07:16 am UTC (link)
	I definitely have to share it with my little sister. She always gets the jump on me with the dirty jokes. :3 (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

irised, 2009-12-30 07:19 am UTC

(no subject) -

sylvacoer, 2009-12-30 07:37 am UTC

(Read comments) -