Entry tags:

author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .

A) Post an attack on the review (NEW WITH SCREEN CAPS!)
B) Post an article attacking the reviewer on authorsden.com ETA: DELETED NOW WITH SCREENCAP!
C) Send nasty comments and later delete them off of Goodreads (see second edit at the end of this post)
D) Openly declare war on anyone who rates your book poorly
E) Do all of the above until readers are afraid to post reviews DELORTED TOO! ALAS, SCREENCAPS: REBECCA, WE WEILL PROTECT YOU!!

BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!


Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama




ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!



ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! (sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.) YAY.

Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin

LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.



MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.



LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL


I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.


EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.

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(Post a new comment)

	insanitys_place 2010-02-25 02:08 am UTC (link)
	For what it's worth there's some review wank going on at Amazon and there's a certain TwilightFan going around the one star and two star reviews not only claiming to know where people are ordering their books, but calling the reviews bogus. Some people suspect it's an author sock. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jupiterpluvius 2010-02-25 03:55 am UTC (link)
	Seeing as "TwilightFan" hasn't reviewed any of the Twilight books and has only reviewed this obscure vanity-published tome, signs point to sock. VAMPIRE SOCK! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sylvacoer 2010-02-25 03:59 am UTC (link)
	*now fears for the contents of her underwear drawer* D: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	uldihaa 2010-02-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)
	I'd toss a clove of garlic in the drawer, but it might stink up my clean socks. Maybe I'll just pour some holy water into my washing machine when I do my laundry. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - librarianmouse, 2010-02-26 02:26 am UTC

(no subject) - uldihaa, 2010-02-26 02:36 am UTC

	the_labrat_army 2010-02-25 06:33 am UTC (link)
	Vampire Sock who`s determined to live up to it`s namesake`s hero. The fact that the author`s a Twilight fangirl...somehow explains so much. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kitt_in_socks 2010-02-27 02:27 am UTC (link)
	So, a quick search for vampire socks led me to this. That is a sock monkey with a mouth on its crotch. In what world did that sound like a good idea. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	julian_black 2010-02-25 06:41 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I don't suspect TwilightFan is Robin Malone--I'm convinced she is. That's a level of overinvestment that can only come straight from a fruitbat author. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	randomsome1 2010-02-25 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	Hey now, fruit bats are adorable. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	maudelynn 2010-02-25 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, they are. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	magnolia_mama 2010-02-26 01:53 am UTC (link)
	Like Eric the fruit bat! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	librarianmouse 2010-02-26 02:29 am UTC (link)
	Exhibit A</a? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - librarianmouse, 2010-02-26 02:31 am UTC

(no subject) - randomsome1, 2010-02-26 02:54 am UTC

(no subject) - hallidae, 2010-02-26 03:18 am UTC

(no subject) - julian_black, 2010-02-26 09:11 am UTC

(no subject) - sylvacoer, 2010-02-26 04:52 pm UTC

	vitalitat 2010-02-25 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	TY for the link! I was pointed to that yesterday, but had to leave my desk before I could edit it in, and couldn't do it until this morning. Curses to real life getting in the way of wank! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	the_labrat_army 2010-02-26 05:35 am UTC (link)
	From TwilightFan: why is it that this is the only review you've posted on here? Did you actually read the book? You didn't buy it from Amazon either. *dies laughing* An author sockpuppet -- this is the best wank EVER. (Reply to this)(Parent)

bobgenghiskhan 2010-02-25 05:05 am UTC (link)

Interesting to see that this book is "published" by PublishAmerica. This is a vanity press that pretends not to be one- i.e. it has little or no distribution and expects to make the vast majority of its sales to the authors themselves. They do very little editing, if any. While the excerpt on weepingcock doesn't seem to be from the book in question, I doubt the quality of the writing is much different. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	bobgenghiskhan 2010-02-25 05:07 am UTC (link)
	....which if I had actually read Page 2 of the comments as I thought I had, I would have already known. CARRY ON. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	julian_black 2010-02-25 06:43 am UTC (link)
	That's okay; after all, the epic shittiness of PublishAmerica cannot be emphasized enough. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	embyquinn 2010-02-25 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	It's official, people. R. Malone is the new Ann Rice. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	galletas 2010-02-25 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	She'd probably take that as a compliment. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	embyquinn 2010-02-26 05:33 am UTC (link)
	You're rigbt. It's probably also an insult to Rice, bless her little batshit heart. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - atreyu, 2010-02-26 08:49 am UTC

(no subject) - emily_goddess, 2010-02-26 06:58 pm UTC

(no subject) - jupiterpluvius, 2010-02-26 07:59 pm UTC

(no subject) - atreyu, 2010-02-26 09:37 pm UTC

(no subject) - emily_goddess, 2010-02-26 10:17 pm UTC

(no subject) - emily_goddess, 2010-02-26 10:23 pm UTC

	rudemistress 2010-02-26 02:55 am UTC (link)
	When I get my novels published--and I will eventually figure out what kind of animals I'll need to sacrifice to make that happen--I will ACTIVELY ENCOURAGE people to post 1- and 2-star reviews of my books! If nothing else, it'll give me endless blogging material! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	emily_goddess 2010-02-26 07:02 pm UTC (link)
	I will eventually figure out what kind of animals I'll need to sacrifice to make that happen Nothing gets Satan's attention like an endangered species. Try a bald eagle or some kind of tiger. (Reply to this)(Parent)

jupiterpluvius 2010-02-26 08:01 pm UTC (link)

The only animal you have to sacrifice is yourself, really. The best way to get a book published is write a compelling story, edit the fuck out of the manuscript so it's professional, and query a bunch of agents until you find one or more who are interested in representing you. That's how every best seller has done it. (Except Stephenie Meyer and Dan Brown who left out Step Two, though it hasn't done them any harm.) Every best-selling author came through the slush pile. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	jupiterpluvius 2010-02-26 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	No, I take that back. A very few authors (like Bret Easton Ellis and Cassandra Clare {Claire?}) got published by becoming proteges of more successful writers. But that group is a teeny-tiny slice of the big pie of people who just wrote and revised and submitted. And for myself, I'd rather work hard than suck up. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Whoa. - syncopation, 2010-03-04 10:19 am UTC

(no subject) - castellated, 2010-03-07 11:22 pm UTC

(no subject) - librarianmouse, 2010-03-08 02:22 am UTC

	rudemistress 2010-02-27 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	I'm working on the "query a bunch of agents until you find one or more who are interested in representing you" part. That's where the animal sacrifice is starting to look like a wise career move. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dragoness_e 2010-02-27 06:09 am UTC (link)
	I am amused by the almost perfect timing of John Scalzi's post a couple of days ago: One Star Reviews Revisited where he proudly owns his bad reviews. (Reply to this)

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