Entry tags:

author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .

Post an article attacking the reviewer on authorsden.com

DELETED NOW WITH SCREENCAP!

Send nasty comments and later delete them off of Goodreads

anyone

Do all of the above until readers are afraid to post reviews

REBECCA, WE WEILL PROTECT YOU!!

BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!

Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama

ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!

ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! ~~(sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.)~~ YAY.

Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin

LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.

MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.

LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL

I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.

EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.

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cleolinda
2010-02-24 12:51 am UTC (link)

I wish I could bear to look at mine--I can count the number of reviews my book got on one hand, and most of them were ungood. But there was one that blamed me as one of the co-bringers-down of Western Civilization, and that was pretty awesome. I put that on my resume! And then I stopped reading reviews at all, and life was good. Or at least better. Definitely better.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dez_chan 2010-02-24 12:58 am UTC (link)
	But but! I like your m15m. (Not that that makes any difference to you, I'm sure!) Although yeah, being a harbinger of doom is definitely more impressive on a resume. The closest I can come is being a mild irritant to the nerves and that descriptor just doesn't sound as good. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

cleolinda
2010-02-24 01:38 am UTC (link)

Well, the thing about negative reviews is that a couple of things kept coming up over and over, so I thought, "Then that is probably true." Like, "The pieces go on too long." So I've worked really hard at making them a lot tighter--I went long on purpose because I wanted to give people their money's worth, and in retrospect, it wasn't the right choice. And then there's "She has a very young, internet sense of humor," which... well, yes, sir, that is correct, sir. That is, in fact, what I am and where I came from. So it's like, a criticism can be 1) true, but it's not your problem if they don't like it; 2) true, if it turns into a consensus, and paying attention to that can make you a better writer; or 3) a matter of opinion that doesn't help you, at which point it doesn't matter anyway. At no point is acting like a flaming moron on the internets going to help.

Also, someone made up an LJ account called "cleoloindaisgay" [sic] just to flame me. I am pretty sure that is the most awesome thing I have ever personally experienced.

Also:

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again?

I have a feeling this writer is hiding in Cyndy's bushes right now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sokudoningyou 2010-02-24 03:30 am UTC (link)
	You know, that would be my highlight too if I published a book: someone making an LJ account accusing me of being gay. And also that I helped bring down Western Civilization. Pretty sure that would be on my business card, because that's pretty damn awesome. It just proves not all bad news is bad; some of it is pretty fucking hilarious and unintendedly flattering. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2010-02-24 03:49 am UTC (link)
	"cleoloindaisgay" That is awesome. The misspelling is the best part, I think. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2010-02-24 04:24 am UTC (link)
	Dude, it only gets better from there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2010-02-24 04:31 am UTC (link)
	Cleolinda, you have ruined comedy. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2010-02-24 04:32 am UTC (link)
	I find this Article complte and utter bullshit. you have ruined comedy and your spelling is horrible. OMFG I laughed so hard I scared the cat. HEEEEE! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2010-02-24 04:48 am UTC (link)
	I also have Ruiner of Comedy on my resume. melayka even made me a Cleoloinda, Evil Twin, Destroyer of Lulz icon, but I don't get to use it very much. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	enrythe8th 2010-02-24 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	I know I'm going into the sciences, but I hope that one day I can put something like that on my resume. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	librarianmouse 2010-02-24 06:38 am UTC (link)
	I think the "Have a nice day" is the best part. YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU but have a nice day! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dez_chan 2010-02-24 05:56 am UTC (link)
	Different strokes, I guess. Though complaining that something what started on the internet on LJ is too "internet-based" in humor is kind of like complaining that P.G. Wodehouse is too British. I'm waiting for Robin to come out with, "I'm NOT obsessed, I've just been tracking down this one reviewer's every move as...uh...research! For my next book!" (Reply to this)(Parent)

	beccastareyes 2010-02-24 01:33 am UTC (link)
	But there was one that blamed me as one of the co-bringers-down of Western Civilization, and that was pretty awesome. I put that on my resume! That is a perfectly appropriate reaction. I mean, I've read some bad books, but not a one I think even can be listed on the acknowledgments page of 'The Downfall of Western Civilization: A How-To Manual'. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	visp 2010-02-25 04:49 am UTC (link)
	'The Downfall of Western Civilization: A How-To Manual'. And that's what I'm calling my book. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kookaburra 2010-02-24 03:02 am UTC (link)
	Well, your book made me, a stranger on the internet, pee herself with laughter. I actually, literally, had to change my pants halfway through the LOTR one. I hope that counts for something! :D (Reply to this)(Parent)

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