Entry tags:

author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .

Post an article attacking the reviewer on authorsden.com

DELETED NOW WITH SCREENCAP!

Send nasty comments and later delete them off of Goodreads

anyone

Do all of the above until readers are afraid to post reviews

REBECCA, WE WEILL PROTECT YOU!!

BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!

Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama

ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!

ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! ~~(sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.)~~ YAY.

Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin

LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.

MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.

LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL

I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.

EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	eleutheria 2010-02-24 02:36 am UTC (link)
	Nazi... vampire... rapist? That's a threefer of DO NOT WANT. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	platedlizard 2010-02-24 03:24 am UTC (link)
	Huh. Somebody's been reading Hellsing. Well, two out of three, anyways. and the Nazi vampires aren't the good guys (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eleutheria 2010-02-24 03:31 am UTC (link)
	They'd make great bad guys/boss mobs, but not romance novel heroes. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	platedlizard 2010-02-24 03:49 am UTC (link)
	Admittedly, there were good Nazis but you need a hell of a back story for one. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sgaana 2010-02-24 06:00 am UTC (link)
	And then there's The Desert Peach -- Gay Naked Surfing Nazi Romantic Heroes FTW! (I am not even kidding. That's kind of the cover of... well, the entirety of... issue #3.) But it takes a rare talent to make "good Nazis" work. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	frau_eva 2010-02-24 05:39 am UTC (link)
	But would you want any male from Hellsing near your private parts? Well, okay, maybe Pip if he didn't have such a love of prostitutes. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	platedlizard 2010-02-24 05:45 am UTC (link)
	Pip minus the whores is pretty much my ideal man. Maaaybe Walter before he turned traitor. WTF Walter, you were so cool. Anyone who wants Alucard is batshit insane. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

frau_eva
2010-02-24 05:56 am UTC (link)

Pip is adorable. Especially when he's adorable to Seras. It can't hurt that I still have some weird residual Duo Maxwell thing for the braid. And Walter....just...*sigh*

Well, I could see wanting Alucard's VOICE. But that's mostly just my ridiculous crush on Crispin Freeman talking. But holy shit, stuff like that fight with Rip Van Winkle? GETITAWAYGETITAWAYGETITAWAY.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ecchaniz0r 2010-02-24 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	sflgj;ofiga;r that whole fight was like - yeah, that was not subtextual at ALL, that was "the ghost of Freud is SQUEEING." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sylvacoer 2010-02-25 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Thirding this sentiment. I wibbled publicly when I read that he got killed. :C (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	frau_eva 2010-02-25 03:52 am UTC (link)
	We can't have men that we can drool over in Hellsing. They take away from Hirano's fetish fuel. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sylvacoer 2010-02-25 04:01 am UTC (link)
	At the very least, I could find Father Anderson batshit!Catholic!awesome. And then he became not awesome. And then got deaded. 3: whines Whyyyyyyyyy do all the characters I like dieeeeee, whyyyyyyyy~?!? D8 (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lady_ganesh 2010-02-24 03:45 am UTC (link)
	For serious. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ekaterinv 2010-02-24 04:05 am UTC (link)
	The only way that could be more of a turn-off is... um... okay, I'm stumped. There is nothing that is more of a turn-off than that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2010-02-24 04:34 am UTC (link)
	Zombies? Westboro Baptists? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ekaterinv 2010-02-24 05:31 am UTC (link)
	Zombies and Westboro Baptists are bad, certainly. But for me, I think "rapist" trumps everything in terms of DO NOT WANT. (Though I also do not want zombies, Westboro Baptists, Nazis or vampires. Now, werewolves...) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	platedlizard 2010-02-24 05:49 am UTC (link)
	Oddly enough 'rapist' is more of a turn-off for me then Nazi or vampire. Especially given my fear of needles and having my blood drawn. Maybe it's because I'm more likely to encounter a rapist, whereas vampires are non-existent and the only real Nazis still around are pushing 100. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tarash 2010-02-24 03:54 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know, she's got 'werewolf who killed a woman's BFF since childhood and then ~~rapes~~ forcibly seduces the woman' somewhere else. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tofuknight 2010-02-24 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	I got confused for a moment because I thought we were talking about a book that wasn't Twilight. :D: (Reply to this)(Parent)

	khym_chanur 2010-02-24 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	The Anita Blake series has rapist vampires that will rot on you while they're raping you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vergilsparda 2010-02-25 01:30 am UTC (link)
	Hahahahaha what?! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seanchaigirl 2010-02-25 06:16 am UTC (link)
	And now I am so glad I stopped reading that series after she kicked Richard to the curb. Eeeeeewwwwww. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vasaris 2010-02-25 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	In fairness, it's not like LKH treats it as anything as a horrigying ewwwwwww. And I wish I'd had the sense to stop that early -- but I love the politics. Now if she'd just stop with the goddamn sex and get on with the political/power shenanigans, her books would be 1/4 the length and so much more fun to read. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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