Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

LiveJournal
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize Journal
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - Personal Info &
      Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Your Pictures
    - Your Password

Developer Area

Need Help?
    - Lost Password?
    - Freq. Asked
      Questions
    - Support Area



Vittles ([info]vitalitat) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2010-02-23 13:06:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .




BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!


Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama




ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!



ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! (sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.) YAY.
Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin


LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.



MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.



LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL


I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.


EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Excerpt anyone?
[info]kita0610
2010-02-24 03:00 am UTC (link)
While his rigid cock glided within her, she perceived its burgeoning, pulsating shaft as it prepared to spurt his seed. His imminent satisfaction was quickly mounting as he panted and raucously moaned behind her. The head thumped against the threshold of her womb, sending shock waves throughout her lower body. Then he halted his movements, forcing it further inside while his seed exploded deeply within her. He cried out, then resumed his heated thrusts. His cock contracted inside her, continually spurting fluid as though his orgasm refused to end.


No comment needed. I feel like that should stand on its own.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]quantumreality
2010-02-24 03:04 am UTC (link)
WUT D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]cmdr_zoom
2010-02-24 03:04 am UTC (link)
see icon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]virgo
2010-02-24 03:08 am UTC (link)
My face is stuck from trying to do XD and D: at the same time. Good Lord, that is some horrible writing.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2010-02-24 03:59 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]virgo, 2010-02-24 04:02 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2010-02-24 06:16 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]virgo, 2010-02-24 06:20 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]empy, 2010-02-24 07:48 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2010-02-25 12:05 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]empy, 2010-02-25 07:16 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]snarkhunter, 2010-02-26 03:31 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]jupiterpluvius
2010-02-24 03:08 am UTC (link)
"against the threshold of her womb...further inside"

AAAAAAAUGH DO NOT WANT

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tachikoma01, 2010-02-24 08:02 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]jupiterpluvius, 2010-02-24 08:26 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tofuknight, 2010-02-24 08:46 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sylvacoer, 2010-02-25 03:27 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]snarkhunter, 2010-02-26 03:29 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]seca
2010-02-24 03:14 am UTC (link)
His cock contracted

That sounds rather painful. D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]evanwaters, 2010-02-24 03:40 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2010-02-24 03:47 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]vitalitat, 2010-02-24 04:34 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:21 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tofuknight, 2010-02-24 08:47 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]vitalitat, 2010-02-24 03:47 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]rganymede, 2010-02-24 04:17 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]theelusiven, 2010-02-24 10:40 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]lindentreeisle
2010-02-24 03:17 am UTC (link)
And how!

I love the part about thumping against the threshold of her womb. That's the kind of thing that should be immortalized in song.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sorchar, 2010-02-24 05:26 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]napalmnacey, 2010-02-24 11:18 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]frau_eva, 2010-02-24 05:42 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]lindentreeisle, 2010-02-24 10:30 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]jabberwockypie, 2010-02-24 06:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]paladin, 2010-02-25 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2010-02-25 09:49 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]elektra3, 2010-02-27 01:23 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]ekaterinv
2010-02-24 03:18 am UTC (link)
BRB laughing forever.

That is actually the worst porn I have ever seen. EVER. Oh dear lord on a bicycle. That got 4 and 5 star reviews?

I try to avoid putting too many sex scenes into stuff I write, but I'm now thinking this is contraindicated if I want to make money. Screw it, I'm gonna write porn!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sgaana, 2010-02-24 06:04 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]ekaterinv, 2010-02-24 06:33 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-02-24 06:21 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]honorh, 2010-02-24 08:56 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]nyoda, 2010-02-27 06:48 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]deliciouschaos
2010-02-24 03:21 am UTC (link)
That is the opposite of what is erotic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]platedlizard
2010-02-24 03:27 am UTC (link)
His cock contracted inside her, continually spurting fluid as though his orgasm refused to end.

Like a fire hose!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]adevyish, 2010-02-24 11:49 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:24 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]lissibith, 2010-02-24 01:53 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]uldihaa, 2010-02-24 01:57 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 02:32 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sylvacoer, 2010-02-25 03:31 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]the_sun_is_up
2010-02-24 03:33 am UTC (link)
"Perceived" is not a word that should ever be used in a sex scene. Nor is "seed."

The head thumped against the threshold of her womb

OUCH.

his seed exploded deeply within her.

Also ouch.

His cock contracted

LOL WUT

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]ladyvyola, 2010-02-24 05:43 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]tangentialone
2010-02-24 03:36 am UTC (link)
I think my vagina just sealed itself closed.

D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]sokudoningyou
2010-02-24 03:36 am UTC (link)
oW. Owowowowoowooowwww. It's like Laurell K. Hamilton when she keeps whacking cervixes in her books; fucking hell, THAT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. And if it's thumping her womb...? Aiiieee.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]ekaterinv, 2010-02-24 04:01 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]sandglass
2010-02-24 03:38 am UTC (link)
He was hitting her cervix, then went deeper, and. . .oh god ow.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]magnolia_mama
2010-02-24 03:46 am UTC (link)
Ah, good, weepingcock is on to this author.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]kita0610, 2010-02-24 03:48 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]puipui, 2010-02-24 04:02 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]singe, 2010-02-24 06:10 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]bigbigtruck, 2010-02-24 07:27 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]julian_black, 2010-02-24 09:23 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]uldihaa, 2010-02-24 02:17 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]silmaril, 2010-02-24 03:39 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]deliciouschaos, 2010-02-24 08:00 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]hallidae, 2010-02-24 08:21 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tofuknight, 2010-02-24 08:52 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]hallidae, 2010-02-24 09:05 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tofuknight, 2010-02-24 09:44 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:27 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]twinno, 2010-02-24 03:57 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]puipui, 2010-02-24 06:02 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]yattara, 2010-02-24 04:26 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sylvacoer, 2010-02-25 03:44 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]seldomnaughty, 2010-02-25 07:09 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]xturtle
2010-02-24 03:50 am UTC (link)
My cervix just made a D: face

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]smashingstars
2010-02-24 03:51 am UTC (link)
as it prepared to spurt his seed

As opposed to spurting another man's seed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tofuknight, 2010-02-24 08:57 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]gairid, 2010-02-24 09:40 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]puipui
2010-02-24 03:57 am UTC (link)
I liked the part where his sperms blew up. I think that was my favorite part.

I don't even want to think about her poor cervix. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]bobafeis, 2010-02-24 07:07 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]thoms
2010-02-24 04:06 am UTC (link)
I think my face has frozen like my icon's.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]dragonfangirl
2010-02-24 04:34 am UTC (link)
Um.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]ladyofviolets
2010-02-24 04:52 am UTC (link)
Dude, this reminds me of around half the fics in sites like Sakura Lemon Fanficiton and Adultfanfiction.net.

* torn between screaming in pain and laughing her ass off *

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]snarkhunter, 2010-02-26 03:47 pm UTC
Babelfish is/is not helping?
[info]ari_o
2010-02-24 05:27 am UTC (link)
The hard male where you inserted it is between the chickens. The pulsatory welfare which is we should grow, you perceived. It prepared because separately destruction intensity it can point that seeding. That as for the satisfaction which is imminent being given directly qu' It set up; That is where that rear sighs is loud. The head corresponded drukgolven vis-a-vis the boundary of the uterus which is sent with the lower half body. Then while that seeding explodes inside that deeply, in order to force after binnenkant which is moved and stopped. It is the pushing where he shouted, was heated and by reprise. That male is the chicken engaged the way, therefore among them, the liquid which always destruction intensity can point to orgasm cut off the fact that it ends.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]kita0610, 2010-02-24 06:07 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]singe, 2010-02-24 06:12 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]thoms, 2010-02-24 06:16 am UTC
THAT WAS NO CHICKEN - [info]comixology, 2010-02-24 06:18 am UTC
Re: THAT WAS NO CHICKEN - [info]ari_o, 2010-02-24 06:57 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-02-24 06:29 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]ari_o, 2010-02-24 06:47 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]carolyn_claire, 2010-02-24 07:10 am UTC
The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]puipui, 2010-02-24 08:03 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]ari_o, 2010-02-24 08:05 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]puipui, 2010-02-24 08:10 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]ari_o, 2010-02-24 09:16 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]charamei, 2010-02-24 12:28 pm UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:30 pm UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]youngcurmudgeon, 2010-02-24 06:02 pm UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]puipui, 2010-02-24 06:30 pm UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]sylvacoer, 2010-02-25 03:46 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]annathepiper, 2010-02-25 05:42 am UTC
Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either - [info]w00b, 2010-02-26 08:26 pm UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]honorh, 2010-02-24 08:59 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]ari_o, 2010-02-24 09:06 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]dragonfangirl, 2010-02-24 09:10 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]xero_sky, 2010-02-24 10:53 am UTC
Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? - [info]elementalv, 2010-02-27 12:19 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]brennalarose
2010-02-24 05:42 am UTC (link)
This is my "OHGODNO" face.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]loonylozza
2010-02-24 06:27 am UTC (link)
I'm stuck between staring in horror and laughing. This is an odd feeling..

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]bobafeis
2010-02-24 07:06 am UTC (link)
as though his orgasm refused to end

I'm imagining a prolonged negotiation here.

DudeGuy: Orgasm! I must protest your unwillingness to cease! It's been six hours, and I am becoming quite fatigued. Plus, the exploding seed is starting to pain me a bit, and I fear for partner's cervix.
Orgasm: Screw you, buddy. You're not the boss of me!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]deliciouschaos, 2010-02-24 08:04 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sisterelwood, 2010-02-24 10:13 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]tsubaki, 2010-02-26 05:39 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sepiamagpie, 2010-02-24 12:05 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:32 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2010-02-24 04:44 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]beejium, 2010-02-24 07:59 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]the_labrat_army, 2010-02-24 10:15 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]lilitu93, 2010-02-24 11:01 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]coffee_mug, 2010-02-24 11:26 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]atom_bunny, 2010-02-24 12:20 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]acediance, 2010-02-24 01:41 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]feenix, 2010-02-24 01:43 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]uldihaa, 2010-02-24 03:34 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]gairid, 2010-02-24 09:32 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]sakemaki, 2010-02-25 01:26 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]demonbean, 2010-02-25 06:12 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]embyquinn, 2010-02-25 08:00 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]nagaina, 2010-02-25 08:27 pm UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]feelingcold, 2010-02-26 08:20 am UTC
Re: Excerpt anyone? - [info]socker, 2010-02-27 08:17 pm UTC

(Read comments) -

 
   
Privacy Policy - COPPA
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map