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Vittles ([info]vitalitat) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2010-02-23 13:06:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .




BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!


Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama




ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!



ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! (sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.) YAY.
Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin


LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.



MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.



LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL


I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.


EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]ekaterinv
2010-02-24 03:18 am UTC (link)
BRB laughing forever.

That is actually the worst porn I have ever seen. EVER. Oh dear lord on a bicycle. That got 4 and 5 star reviews?

I try to avoid putting too many sex scenes into stuff I write, but I'm now thinking this is contraindicated if I want to make money. Screw it, I'm gonna write porn!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]sgaana
2010-02-24 06:04 am UTC (link)
That is actually the worst porn I have ever seen. EVER.

Man, why would you even SAY that in a thread like this? That's like a DARE. A CHALLENGE.

I mean, for one thing, there's the Venom Cock. And then there was the romance novel with the chick who time-travelled via a men's bathroom, and... I feel sure that others here will furnish even worse...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]ekaterinv
2010-02-24 06:33 am UTC (link)
Man, why would you even SAY that in a thread like this?

Latent masochism? And I like seeing the atrocious stuff that gets published, it motivates me to write because no matter how awful I sometimes think my stuff is, it will never be that bad.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]librarianmouse
2010-02-24 06:21 am UTC (link)
It can't be as bad as this.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]honorh
2010-02-24 08:56 am UTC (link)
That's just what I was thinking. Knight Moves is by far the worst smut I've ever read, and that includes all the dreck I've come across on the Internet. Really, all the fanfic bad smut I've read is kind of innocent, in a way; it feels like the badness just sort of happened while the author was trying to write well. Knight Moves, though--that's some downright *determined* bad smut. It's smut that started to go wrong from the start, but refused to look at a map and kept charging forward until it was two time zones away from anything resembling eroticism.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]nyoda
2010-02-27 06:48 am UTC (link)
I still think that the Venom Cock was worse. Fondled and molested baby dragons, female circumcision described as "flensing," sexually mutilated nuns having oral sex with dragons...and all of it lovingly described.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Read comments) -

 
   
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