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Vittles ([info]vitalitat) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2010-02-23 13:06:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .




BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!


Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama




ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!



ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! (sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.) YAY.
Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin


LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.



MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.



LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL


I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.


EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]puipui
2010-02-24 04:02 am UTC (link)
She gazed downward, staring as his erection seemed to harden and swell even further, flourishing into a crimson-hued cylinder of steel. Moisture trickled from the head, signifying his anticipation of taking her.

OMFG. OMFG. This is GENIUS. *dies laughing*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]singe
2010-02-24 06:10 am UTC (link)
My face turning red is signifying my need to laugh until I pass out. Oh, god, crimson-hued cylinder of steel!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]bigbigtruck
2010-02-24 07:27 am UTC (link)
crimson-hued cylinder of steel.

His dick morphed into a canned energy drink?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]julian_black
2010-02-24 09:23 am UTC (link)
I was thinking a Dr Pepper, myself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]uldihaa
2010-02-24 02:17 pm UTC (link)
Noooo! Now I won't be able to drink a can of Dr. Pepper for weeks without busting out in raucous laughter; and Dr. Pepper is my preferred soda D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]silmaril
2010-02-24 03:39 pm UTC (link)
...and this is where I choked from trying to laugh silently, because there are people here.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]deliciouschaos
2010-02-24 08:00 am UTC (link)
crimson-hued cylinder of steel

This sounds like it ought to be on that site that explains in simple steps how to have sex with cars.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]hallidae
2010-02-24 08:21 am UTC (link)
Congratulations to this author for adding to my list of unsexiest euphemisms ever. ::puts it down between "burning meat pipe" and "cream-filled snack cake"::

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]tofuknight
2010-02-24 08:52 pm UTC (link)
Burning meat pipe?

All I'm imagining is things that are actually on fire, and while that's kinda hilarious, it is not at all even remotely erotic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]hallidae
2010-02-24 09:05 pm UTC (link)
I can't even remember where I saw it, just that it was in some fic from years ago when one of my friends was all "Hoooooly shit, you gotta see this."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]tofuknight
2010-02-24 09:44 pm UTC (link)
That is indeed the only response to that. Sharing it with others. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]atom_bunny
2010-02-24 12:27 pm UTC (link)
OMFG LOL!

crimson-hued cylinder of steel

That's just too much!

OK, *pushes cup of tea away* no more drinking. I'll end up ruining my keyboard/monitor at this rate.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]twinno
2010-02-24 03:57 pm UTC (link)
My best guess? He's a Transformer.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]puipui
2010-02-24 06:02 pm UTC (link)
A werewolf transformer!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]yattara
2010-02-24 04:26 pm UTC (link)
Crimson-hued cylinder of steel. I scared the boyfriend with that. It is now my favouritest, most lawlzy euphemism I know, edging out cream-filled Twinkie of love.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Excerpt anyone?
[info]sylvacoer
2010-02-25 03:44 am UTC (link)
flourishing.
flourishing
flourishing

Glitter Text Generator



OH GOD WHY. D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Read comments) -

 
   
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