Entry tags:

author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .

Post an article attacking the reviewer on authorsden.com

DELETED NOW WITH SCREENCAP!

Send nasty comments and later delete them off of Goodreads

anyone

Do all of the above until readers are afraid to post reviews

REBECCA, WE WEILL PROTECT YOU!!

BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!

Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama

ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!

ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! ~~(sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.)~~ YAY.

Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin

LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.

MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.

LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL

I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.

EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.

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Babelfish is/is not helping?

ari_o
2010-02-24 05:27 am UTC (link)

The hard male where you inserted it is between the chickens. The pulsatory welfare which is we should grow, you perceived. It prepared because separately destruction intensity it can point that seeding. That as for the satisfaction which is imminent being given directly qu' It set up; That is where that rear sighs is loud. The head corresponded drukgolven vis-a-vis the boundary of the uterus which is sent with the lower half body. Then while that seeding explodes inside that deeply, in order to force after binnenkant which is moved and stopped. It is the pushing where he shouted, was heated and by reprise. That male is the chicken engaged the way, therefore among them, the liquid which always destruction intensity can point to orgasm cut off the fact that it ends.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? kita0610 2010-02-24 06:07 am UTC (link)
	Hunh. I like that better. It's Dada-esque. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? singe 2010-02-24 06:12 am UTC (link)
	BWAHAHAHAAA! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? thoms 2010-02-24 06:16 am UTC (link)
	Tomorrow when I get home I'm iconning some of that. That's kind of beautiful in it's way. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	THAT WAS NO CHICKEN comixology 2010-02-24 06:18 am UTC (link)
	THAT WAS EVIL MANIFEST (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: THAT WAS NO CHICKEN ari_o 2010-02-24 06:57 am UTC (link)
	LOL... there is a chicken wing joke in here. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? librarianmouse 2010-02-24 06:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh, it's definitely helping. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? ari_o 2010-02-24 06:47 am UTC (link)
	I think it's the chickens. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? carolyn_claire 2010-02-24 07:10 am UTC (link)
	That is where that rear sighs is loud. That's one long, loud rear sigh, yes. (Reply to this)(Parent)

The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either

puipui
2010-02-24 08:03 am UTC (link)

Vheele-a hees reegid cuck gleeded veethin her, she-a perceeefed its boorgeuneeng, poolseteeng shefft es it prepered tu spoort hees seed. Bork bork bork! Hees immeenent seteesffecshun ves qooeeckly muoonteeng es he-a punted und roocuoosly muuned beheend her. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Zee heed thoomped egeeenst zee threshuld ooff her vumb, sendeeng shuck vefes thruooghuoot her looer budy. Bork bork bork! Zeen he-a helted hees mufements, furceeng it foorzeer inseede-a vheele-a hees seed ixpluded deeply veethin her. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! He-a creeed oooot, zeen resoomed hees heeted throosts. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Hees cuck cuntrected inseede-a her, cunteenooelly spoorteeng flooeed es thuoogh hees oorgesm reffoosed tu ind. Bork bork bork!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either ari_o 2010-02-24 08:05 am UTC (link)
	It actually reads a little like Chaucer now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either puipui 2010-02-24 08:10 am UTC (link)
	Nah, the sex scenes in Chaucer were way better. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either ari_o 2010-02-24 09:16 am UTC (link)
	Sure, but the Sweedish Chef made the whole thing look vaguely Middle Englishy--you know if you're having a giant allergy attack and full of benadry as I am right now. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either charamei 2010-02-24 12:28 pm UTC (link)
	The placing of that first 'Bork bork bork!' is perfect. I may never look at the Swedish Chef the same way again. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either atom_bunny 2010-02-24 12:30 pm UTC (link)
	she-a perceeefed its boorgeuneeng, poolseteeng shefft es it prepered tu spoort hees seed. Bork bork bork! You know, every time I read about spurting seed in future I'm going to be mentally adding the Bork bork bork! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either youngcurmudgeon 2010-02-24 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	I just have to say that that icon is gorgeous. Also, in context, "hurty flurty schnipp schnipp" is probably not something you want to be happening during sex. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either puipui 2010-02-24 06:30 pm UTC (link)
	I just have to say that that icon is gorgeous. Miss Piggy is super sexy, oh yes. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either sylvacoer 2010-02-25 03:46 am UTC (link)
	is having trouble breathing It almost makes up for the Dr. Pepper can!cock comment thread up a ways. XDD (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either annathepiper 2010-02-25 05:42 am UTC (link)
	Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! This, I think, should be the official F_W reply to any godawful porn from this day forward! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: The Swedish Chef Dialectizer may or may not be helping too/either w00b 2010-02-26 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	This is genius. All future erotica, by law, should involve the word "bork". (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? honorh 2010-02-24 08:59 am UTC (link)
	I like the random German. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? ari_o 2010-02-24 09:06 am UTC (link)
	I think it was Dutch. I didn't translate it into German. English to Dutch to French to Japanese and back into English, iirc. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? dragonfangirl 2010-02-24 09:10 am UTC (link)
	Much improved. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? xero_sky 2010-02-24 10:53 am UTC (link)
	Well, everything's better with chickens. Hey-o. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Babelfish is/is not helping? elementalv 2010-02-27 12:19 am UTC (link)
	Is helping. Definitely is. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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