Entry tags:

author entitlement, books that should be burned, books/authors, can't escape the screencaps, community: weepingcock, if someone is a bad writer she's a bitch, look how much i don't care, reviews, this was no chicken, writers are often pompous douches

You do realize this means war.
Pop Quiz:

You are R. Malone, a new author who has a book out that is predominately getting reviews in the four to five star range when someone gives your book a review a one or two star. Do you. . .

Post an article attacking the reviewer on authorsden.com

DELETED NOW WITH SCREENCAP!

Send nasty comments and later delete them off of Goodreads

anyone

Do all of the above until readers are afraid to post reviews

REBECCA, WE WEILL PROTECT YOU!!

BONUS WANKERY IN SCREENCAP FORM!!!

Credit given when credit is due: Copypasta directly from sf_drama

ETA:

Edited in some screencaps of my own, and also: HOLY COW WAT. HIDDEN AGENDAS!!

ETA AGAIN:
R. Malone's original message to the reviewer/blogger, as found in a cached search! ~~(sceencap coming if LJ WOULD UPLOAD THE CAP ALREADY. JEEZ.)~~ YAY.

Hey Cyndy,

Why did you downrate Crimson Rose to one star on here and Amazon when you had originally rated it two stars last week? Did you read the book again and decide you hated it more? If so, then why did you read it again? I see you also deleted the comment where you stated that you ‘wished to read the sequel when it comes out, since you read an excerpt and it sounded good.’

I’m finished putting up with jealous bitches like you, Cyndy. I guess if this first book goes to shit thanks to bitches like YOU, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t give a fuck anymore, I really, really don’t.

So far, however, your bullshit hasn’t put a tiny dent in CR’s sales.

Robin

LOL, so many screencaps, IDEK. I almost want to buy Crimson Rose to make my eyes bleed like I know they will but skjdsdjfkhjdfhskdfjhsd LOLOLLLLLLL FOREVER. NO SORRY TO SAY.

MOAR ETA:
Saucy, rawr.

++Sauciness via Weepingcock.

LATE NIGHT ELECTRIC BOOGALOO EDIT:
LOL

I SWEAR IT'S THE WANK THAT KEEPS ON GIVING:

Well, duh, the only reason why everyone hates this book is because everyone jumped on the hate bandwagon. Also, Hitler.

More deleted/screencaping fun.

Some clarification, and burn indeed.

EDIT, YET AGAIN:
And what's a wank without sock-puppetry? God I love this woman. Keep up the crazy, please. The lols are great. Where we're been mentioned.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	insanitys_place 2010-02-25 02:08 am UTC (link)
	For what it's worth there's some review wank going on at Amazon and there's a certain TwilightFan going around the one star and two star reviews not only claiming to know where people are ordering their books, but calling the reviews bogus. Some people suspect it's an author sock. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jupiterpluvius 2010-02-25 03:55 am UTC (link)
	Seeing as "TwilightFan" hasn't reviewed any of the Twilight books and has only reviewed this obscure vanity-published tome, signs point to sock. VAMPIRE SOCK! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sylvacoer 2010-02-25 03:59 am UTC (link)
	now fears for the contents of her underwear drawer D: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	uldihaa 2010-02-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)
	I'd toss a clove of garlic in the drawer, but it might stink up my clean socks. Maybe I'll just pour some holy water into my washing machine when I do my laundry. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	librarianmouse 2010-02-26 02:26 am UTC (link)
	Maybe the local priest will come over and bless your washer/dryer... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	uldihaa 2010-02-26 02:36 am UTC (link)
	That might be easier, but it'd be rather embarrassing too. "Hey Reverend, could you bless my sock drawer? I'm worried that there might be a Vampire Sock in there." The middle-aged priest slides a few steps away and flicks a quick look toward the nearest exit. "A Vampire Sock you say?" Yeah, that might not go over too well. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	the_labrat_army 2010-02-25 06:33 am UTC (link)
	Vampire Sock who`s determined to live up to it`s namesake`s hero. The fact that the author`s a Twilight fangirl...somehow explains so much. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kitt_in_socks 2010-02-27 02:27 am UTC (link)
	So, a quick search for vampire socks led me to this. That is a sock monkey with a mouth on its crotch. In what world did that sound like a good idea. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	julian_black 2010-02-25 06:41 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I don't suspect TwilightFan is Robin Malone--I'm convinced she is. That's a level of overinvestment that can only come straight from a fruitbat author. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	randomsome1 2010-02-25 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	Hey now, fruit bats are adorable. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	maudelynn 2010-02-25 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, they are. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	magnolia_mama 2010-02-26 01:53 am UTC (link)
	Like Eric the fruit bat! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	librarianmouse 2010-02-26 02:29 am UTC (link)
	Exhibit A</a? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	librarianmouse 2010-02-26 02:31 am UTC (link)
	Darn you, html... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	randomsome1 2010-02-26 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Fuzzy! I held a little bat once. They feel utterly bizarre. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	hallidae 2010-02-26 03:18 am UTC (link)
	Bats are cute until they get loose in your apartment and decide the best place to hang is right over your pillow. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	julian_black 2010-02-26 09:11 am UTC (link)
	I had one fly through my bedroom window one night. I was all, "Oh, wow, cool! A bat!"--until all five of my cats noticed it and were all, "Oh, wow, cool! Prey!" MUCH HILARITY ENSUED. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sylvacoer 2010-02-26 04:52 pm UTC (link)
	eeeeeeeee~! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	vitalitat 2010-02-25 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	TY for the link! I was pointed to that yesterday, but had to leave my desk before I could edit it in, and couldn't do it until this morning. Curses to real life getting in the way of wank! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	the_labrat_army 2010-02-26 05:35 am UTC (link)
	From TwilightFan: why is it that this is the only review you've posted on here? Did you actually read the book? You didn't buy it from Amazon either. dies laughing An author sockpuppet -- this is the best wank EVER. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -