quikthnkr/Rob Tracy's Guide to Never Getting Another Freelance Artist & Winning at the Internet
Did your inker mysteriously disappear from your totz awesome, no pay job? Need a new inker for free? Just ask yourself, what would Rob Tracy (a.k.a. quikthnkr) do?

1. Post your request on DA. In the Paid Job section.
2. Argue when people inform you of the rules. (Rules are like, opinions, man.)
3. Grudge against artists who want to get paid for their work.
4. Grudge against previous co-workers.
5. Argue with people who give you solid advice.
6. Insult possible volunteers.
7. Calmly explain that the poor economy means that artists should be grateful for no pay, dead end jobs.
8. When all else fails declare yourself the winner.

Thanks to anon's wank report.

ETA: Locked post at artists_beware (open membership). Cache for original post by issendai (deleted).
Also, previous wank from the same guy, courtesy of issendai.