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Little Valkyrie ([info]waltraute) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2010-10-02 23:03:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:banhammer, persecution, videogames

Banhammers? In my online video game?
...it's more likely than you think.

Thanks to the anons at wank_report for the writeup.

The backstory: the latest title in the Halo series, Halo: Reach came out recently, spurring millions of fanboys to new heights of level grinding in an effort to reach the top rank and increase the size of their e-cocks.

The set-up: A few people found out that you could exploit the credit-earning/ranking system using a network manipulation trick. Thousands try it and are delighted to find their credits skyrocketing, unlocking new ranks, armour effects and other cool goodies. Much rejoicing ensues.

The twist: Bungie (the guys behind Reach) reveal that network manipulation = cheating, and bring out the banhammer.

The wank: Here on the forums is where most of it is going down, but if you check, there's plenty more going on outside the official bitching thread. Responses range from "but I didn't do anything wroooooooooooooong!" to "FUCK YOU, BUNGIE, I'M NEVER PLAYING YOUR GAME AGAIN p.s. when do we get our credits and armour back?"

One enterprising poster comes up with the best solution for the forlorn.

For bonus points, look out for the places where Bungie officials have outed people claiming they didn't cheat by revealing just exactly how many times said users had used the exploit per day. Official ownage is always the best kind. :D




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[info]sepiamagpie
2010-10-03 06:09 am UTC (link)
One enterprising poster comes up with the best solution for the forlorn.

That drawing is adorable. Omgunicorn.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2010-10-03 10:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-03 02:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2010-10-03 03:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-03 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-03 04:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2010-10-03 08:52 pm UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2010-10-03 06:13 am UTC (link)
People throwing hissy fits over getting banned because of cheating will never stop being funny. It will also never cease to boggle me, because, really, what do you expect to happen when you're caught cheating?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - scifantasy, 2010-10-03 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lostmahmarbles, 2010-10-03 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - scifantasy, 2010-10-03 07:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2010-10-03 10:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2010-10-06 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - tetradecimal, 2010-10-03 06:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2010-10-03 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - tetradecimal, 2010-10-03 10:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2010-10-03 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2010-10-04 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - tetradecimal, 2010-10-04 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-03 05:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lissibith, 2010-10-04 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2010-10-04 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pfeffermuse, 2010-10-05 03:40 am UTC

[info]msilverstar
2010-10-03 06:19 am UTC (link)
I dunno, I hope the guys who just followed along don't get banned with the boasters and the hypocrites /too much empathy

(Reply to this)


[info]tez
2010-10-03 06:49 am UTC (link)
I would like to say I love this thread profoundly, and the OP is good and should feel good.

It also, unlike many threads, actually gets more amusing the further you read.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2010-10-03 07:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2010-10-03 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kitt_in_socks, 2010-10-03 07:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2010-10-03 08:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2010-10-03 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]braidedmane, 2010-10-04 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]palabradot, 2010-10-05 04:47 am UTC

[info]tehrin
2010-10-03 07:22 am UTC (link)
The code for your "there's plenty more going on" link is borked.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-03 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2010-10-03 07:30 am UTC

[info]jaythenerdkid
2010-10-03 07:27 am UTC (link)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Bungie wank! That I've been following! :D :D :D

And my birthday isn't even for another month. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2010-10-03 11:05 pm UTC

[info]nextian
2010-10-03 07:37 am UTC (link)
On this thread (from the main post here), follow NinjaHippo's comments. Bright yellow and green avatar, hard to miss. He makes the thread with his Use Of Logic to combat evil Bungie's ways. 53 pages in and he's still going.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]quantumreality, 2010-10-03 09:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nextian, 2010-10-03 11:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-03 02:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2010-10-03 02:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-03 09:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paladin, 2010-10-04 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-03 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2010-10-04 09:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-04 01:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2010-10-04 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-03 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-03 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-03 10:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2010-10-08 07:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-08 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2010-10-08 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-09 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2010-10-04 07:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-05 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pkbitchgirl, 2010-10-04 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-04 09:20 pm UTC

[info]xero_sky
2010-10-03 07:40 am UTC (link)
I enjoy the people who think that losing less than 15K customers would somehow drive Bungie into insolvency.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2010-10-03 11:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2010-10-04 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-04 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]faemouse, 2010-10-06 04:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-06 05:48 pm UTC

[info]the_emo_kitty
2010-10-03 11:21 am UTC (link)
Some of the excuses are just awesome:

its not even fair.. i have a toddler baby brother and he kept unplugging my ethernet and everytime i went to the bathroom my dog jumped on the couch making the game revert to last save and shoot the mac gun thinger.. this isnt my fault i want to warrant officer grade 1 again (page 26)


my router was broken all this time i want unbanhammer i did not cheat (page 25)

And then there's this:

Ps. you taking away our right to pursuit of happiness Delcoration of independents mabey you should read it. (quoted on page 25)

And this!

Also i tested your Beta for free surely you should be repaying the community. That is a very sly move for games producers to simply give out early betas and have testers giving feedback for free You owe us Bungie (page 14).

Add in the analogy to this being JUST like nuking innocent civilians without warning, the announcements of leaving forever, and NinjaHippos's inability to shut up, I think you could fill the entire Bingo card from this thread alone; it just keeps on giving.

Oh man I hope that html works.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lied_ohne_worte, 2010-10-03 02:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdeep, 2010-10-03 02:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaythenerdkid, 2010-10-03 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdeep, 2010-10-03 02:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stealth_noodle, 2010-10-03 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2010-10-04 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2010-10-03 10:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyophelia14, 2010-10-04 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2010-10-04 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]emily_goddess, 2010-10-04 02:28 am UTC

[info]eilan
2010-10-03 02:15 pm UTC (link)
"us r blam unbelievable whyy da blam would u reset people that have done it legit u blam blam get a life u fat blam."

...

what?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lied_ohne_worte, 2010-10-03 02:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2010-10-03 02:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]unannealed, 2010-10-03 04:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]reovu, 2010-10-03 05:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2010-10-03 05:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bigbigtruck, 2010-10-03 07:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gerorin, 2010-10-03 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2010-10-04 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]talec, 2010-10-08 09:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2010-10-04 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2010-10-03 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]malicealice, 2010-10-04 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2010-10-04 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2010-10-04 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogueunit, 2010-10-04 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2010-10-08 07:58 am UTC

[info]reovu
2010-10-03 05:10 pm UTC (link)
This happens all the time regarding MMOs unfortunately. I used to play "Maple Story" (yeah I was pretty lame back then) and this happened all the time when new events and maps came out. And of course, there were mass bannings that would follow.

moral of the story: if you're aware of the fact that what you're doing exploits the system... it's probably not a good idea. It never ends well.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2010-10-03 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2010-10-03 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2010-10-04 09:50 am UTC

[info]phosfate
2010-10-03 06:05 pm UTC (link)
Screw Reach, the second Red Vs Blue box set is out!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jeedai, 2010-10-04 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melyanna, 2010-10-04 02:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2010-10-04 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maverickz3r0, 2010-10-04 07:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonsong12, 2010-10-04 03:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2010-10-04 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lissibith, 2010-10-04 05:59 pm UTC

[info]yanderelove
2010-10-03 06:25 pm UTC (link)
The thread is fucking hilarious

"I LOVE YOU BUNGIE THANK YOU SO MUCH MOST OF MY FRIENDS CHEATED AND TALK TRASH TO ME ABOUT DOING MY LEGIT BUT I TOLD THEM THEY WOULD GET BANNED THANK YOU BUNGIE"

"Does bingie give me my rank back after the temporary ban or are they just gonna leave me at a reacruit?"

PLEASE TELL ME BINGIE

"i take poops with more entertainment then this game"

(Reply to this)


[info]gerorin
2010-10-03 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Ahh, bitter fanboys tears would never stop being delicious.

This is awesome though, I must admit: http://i1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb362/tur7le/halo%20reach/haloreach.jpg

(Reply to this)


[info]laerwen
2010-10-03 08:56 pm UTC (link)
*slow clap* Stunning show of fannish entitlement, that. WAH U NEVER WARNED MEEE I H8 U NAO I'LL NEVAR PLAY AGAIN.

1. They don't HAVE to warn you. You cheat and get caught, you take your licks.

2. LOL, profanity filters.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2010-10-03 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laerwen, 2010-10-04 09:48 pm UTC

[info]baranduyn
2010-10-03 09:38 pm UTC (link)
Ah, me. I've read too many of the linked-to comments as it is.

This is a war-type game, right? They're talking about rankings and armour and all that.

THERE IS NO WHINING FROM WARRIORS!!!!

Though extra points for my favorite tactic, establishing your own criteria for evidence supporting your innocence. Like, "Listen, I talke to my cousin in Pomona a week ago last Tuesday that totally proves I didn't rob the 7-11 last night." In-spiring. Right with the weak cries of "Just gimme my rank and my equipment and reset me back to where I say I started cheating oh my God you're so unfair." Doesn't work with parents, won't work with a corporation.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-03 09:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gerorin, 2010-10-03 09:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2010-10-04 01:27 am UTC

[info]coquelicot
2010-10-03 10:17 pm UTC (link)
I'm doing my little schadenfreude dance right now. (No spellcheck, I'm doing a "Schopenhauer dance".

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]coquelicot, 2010-10-03 10:18 pm UTC

[info]eleutheria
2010-10-03 11:20 pm UTC (link)
Squee, Halo wank! And not even my birthday yet!

purring millions of fanboys to new heights of level grinding

Hey now, we're not all fanboys.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lostmahmarbles, 2010-10-04 01:29 am UTC

[info]uldihaa
2010-10-04 03:37 am UTC (link)
OH MY GOD!

Mod of win. Mods are goldtext.

I thought the posting of certain whiners' ban-worthy actions was WIN. This tops it.

And I can't believe I've read up to this point... every single post. Please send help.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Note to self... - [info]lil_miss_stfu, 2010-10-05 02:47 pm UTC

[info]mochibuni
2010-10-04 10:41 am UTC (link)
I get that there's always going to be people who cheat, but this game has been so damn fun that I find cheating to be a complete waste of time, time that could be spent having more damn fun in this game. And now they've basically fucked over the fun for themselves and I find that hilarious.

(Reply to this)


[info]brennalarose
2010-10-04 02:35 pm UTC (link)
Holy shit. The entitlement is STRONG with these guys.

(Reply to this)


[info]eevee
2010-10-04 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Couldn't resist:

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2010-10-04 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]justira, 2010-10-04 05:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kintotech, 2010-10-04 06:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2010-10-04 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laerwen, 2010-10-04 10:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2010-10-04 11:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stealth_noodle, 2010-10-04 11:34 pm UTC

[info]lissibith
2010-10-04 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Hold up.

All this whining is about a "Ban" that A. resets the player's credits down to the lowest level and then B. prevents them from earning credits for 24 hours? Like not a "you can't play anymore" ban, not even a "you can't play for now" ban, but a "You won't earn anything when you play for a little while" ban? Am I reading that right?

Man, and I thought that was a lot of whining about being kicked out of the game...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-04 09:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lissibith, 2010-10-04 09:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laerwen, 2010-10-04 10:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sir_hellsing, 2010-10-04 11:10 pm UTC

[info]irised
2010-10-04 07:37 pm UTC (link)
I am totally loving the people who are all "Okay, I understand and accept my punishment, but could you make it so I don't actually get punished? Thanks"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2010-10-04 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2010-10-05 05:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2010-10-05 05:25 am UTC

[info]sir_hellsing
2010-10-04 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Most of this jargon is so lost to me. *pats her old Sega Genesis*

I should return to my cave until I'm updated to understand online games that aren't Solitaire.

(Reply to this)



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