Gene Simmons Versus Anonymous
Reality TV star Gene Simmons spoke on a panel at MIPCOM 2010 with all kinds of advice about how to deal with digital piracy.

"The music industry was asleep at the wheel," Simmons complained, "and didn't have the balls to sue every fresh-faced, freckle-faced college kid who downloaded material. And so now we're left with hundreds of thousands of people without jobs. There's no industry."

Poor man, reduced to earning money by slapping the KISS logo on any bit of merchandise that will hold it.

"Everything from KISS condoms to KISS caskets," Simmons disclosed. "We'll get you coming and we'll get you going. We literally have everything from KISS Hi-Def television sets that are about to come on the market to KISS Motorcycles. Well, it's Planet KISS. Oh, I've already trademarked that, I forgot that."

Meanwhile, the rampaging hordes of Anonymous launched Operation Payback--DDoS attacks on the MPAA, the RIAA and others . . . including GeneSimmons.com.

Gene Simmons' response is about what you'd expect from a fading 70s rock star who doesn't quite get this Internet business:

Some of you may have heard a few popcorn farts re: our sites being threatened by hackers.

Our legal team and the FBI have been on the case and we have found a few, shall we say "adventurous" young people, who feel they are above the law.

And, as stated in my MIPCOM speech, we will sue their pants off.

First, they will be punished.

Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who's been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.

We will soon be printing their names and pictures.

We will find you.

You cannot hide.

Stay tuned

(Scuse me a moment, I have to stop giggling uncontrollably at the thought of somebody saying this to Anonymous.)

The comments on Ars Technica devolve into the usual arguments about the State of the Music Industry, but at least one person points out that Mr. Simmons might want to "put his house in order before waging war against the interweb"