I AM AN INNOCENT WRONGED!1! ::GASP GASP::
This is a bit of a milestone post for me-- the first time I act as both wank witness at Fandom Wank AND Bukkake victim/perpetrator. This is a pretty small wank, but kind of fun. For one thing, the noble name of Fandom Wank was tossed back and forth several times with increasing acrimony. Not to mention, it's a **classic** case of trigger-happy mods and people who can give it but can't take it at all.



First, a couple of notes. Pretty much every single post was deleted by vengeful mods. Luckily, I have managed to salvage some posts because livejournal e-mails you when someone responds to you. Thus, I've managed to reconstruct a rough outline of posts. What I haven't been able to reconstruct, I've done a summary of.

The wank begins when I first enter into a long Question and Answer session of a Harry Potter RPG that is played out through Live Journal. It's a pretty cool concept, and I've been following and admiring this RPG (Nocturne Alley, http://www.livejournal.com/community/nocturne_alley/) for a while. So I just decided to enter the post at the livejournal community nraged (you can find the only post left at: http://www.livejournal.com/community/nraged/252684.html?page=3 ) and pop off a quick question about Lily Potter and what Snape's (much denied) connection to Lily really was.

mariagoner to Severus Snape:
2003-08-07 19:54 (link)
>>Why in the world, sir, do so many HP fans suffer under the misconception that you were ever in love with Lily Evans in Hogwarts? After all, though she was beautiful, intelligent, good-hearted and brave enough to intercede on your behalf in front of bullies, they should already know that the mere fact that she was muggleborn (or a "mudblood" as you so charmingly put it during the time when she attempted to rescue you from Sirius Black and James Potter-- see HPOTP Snape's Worst Memory) would be enough to stop you from ever considering her as a girlfriend or wife.

>>After all, no matter how wonderful a woman she was, you would NEVER consider her simply due to her ancestry, right? Though it would have been interesting to see what might have happened if you had been a little more open minded. You would probably be happily married with several children by now... and Lily might still be ALIVE. After all, if she weren't with James Potter (with his troublesome tendencies to blunder into bad situations) and instead with you, she might still exist to this day. And Harry Potter, thorn that he is to your side, would not even exist.

This was a mischevious question, I admit. But Snape was practically asking for a question about Lily... he kept denying he had anything to do with her in that RPG. So I thought, he's practically asking to be baited at this point. Let's see what he'll do...

(And I will say, sillier questions were asked in this Q&A. Such as: boxers or briefs? Or what would you put on your sundae cone?)


Severus Snape (or at least his player) responds quickly:
>>potions_master
2003-08-07 20:11 (link)
>>Oh joy. A quasi-intellectual with a penchant for blather. I am simply awash with glee.
>>I suppose I must quote my infuriating yet occasionally-insightful colleague when I say that the human heart knows no houses nor does it see the same prejudices of the mind. Thus, someone of proper stock could very well find affection for a lesser-bred sort, if so inclined. It is also I suspect somehow romantic to indulge in fantasies of love overcoming obstacles, etc., ad nauseum.

>>Attempting to force blame upon me for her demise simply because I did not fawn over her rather than James Potter is really quite rude, not to mention pathetic. Please take your half-witted assumptions elsewhere.


At this point, the mods deleted my thread, and I operate from memory for a couple of posts.

I start teasing Snape about being mean to me when he isn't as bright as he thinks he is either. I talks about the OTP and his revealed past in canon, as well as the fact that his insults in his journal and this Q&A tend to be of the "You're idiotic", "You're an imbecile", "You're rilly rilly dumb" type. I ask Snape if he can't start using a couple of better insults for me. For illustration, I use a couple of funny quotes from Lucius Malfoy (from the same RPG) insulting people in his earlier RPG Q&A and say something like: "It's a sad day when a Malfoy beats you out in taunting someone, Snape." Also, I referenced fandom_wank, and joked that if anyone disagrees with me, I'll take it this thread there.


(This is where I get wanky. I shouldn't have referenced the books directly, and I shouldn't have contrasted the two players and said one was better than the other. But that's weak stuff when someone has just called you a "quasi-intellectual" with "half-witted assumptions." For someone who can dish it, Snape's player fell apart the moment she met criticism.)

(Also, when I mentioned fandom_wank, the mods went **ape-shit** and started accusing me of being deliberately provocative. Specifically, Lucius Malfoy (purestblood) first mentions this, and other mods agree. Since I DON'T want to disappoint them on my shit-stirring proclivities, there was nothing left to do but bring the argument here.)


However, here is also where Lucius Malfoy (purestblood) steps in and whallops me with a verbal two-by-four for getting uppity with Snape:


Malfoy began with some garden variety insults about my parentage. Hey, his ljname is purestblood. Whatever. But things take a nasty turn to the personal when he tell me:
>>a) My question is stupid.
>>b) Ergo, I am stupid.
>>c) Ergo, I really ought to get the hell out of these boards.
>>He also ends up mentioning that since I like fandom_wank so much, I really ought go... masturbate some more? I'm not really sure what the hell he said... but it involved me and this community in a severely compromising position. Ew. Malfoy, you pedophile plagirizer!


I'm startled by the sheer animosity that Malfoy suddenly sports and respond to it, trying to chill things down. Silly me, I thought that if I let everyone know I was just joking around and **not insulting Snape's player at all, just responding to Snape's insults** they'd realize I'm not trying to be a bitch.


I respond to Lucius Malfoy:
>>Okay, breaking character for a minute.

>>All right, player of Lucius Malfoy, why are you suddenly getting so tense and angry with me? I realized that in a lot of posts of this community with Q&A with HP characters, a lot of people were being rather gentle and timid and teasing with their questions. So naturally, I though it would be really interesting to act very haughty, argumentative and distasteful in turn with a character. And who better to lock (genteel!) heads with than our own acid tounged potions master, Severus Snape?

>>Severus (or at least his player) and I were having a fun conversation insulting each other. He calls me an imbecile, I say he ought to make a greater effort to call me an imbecile. No harm done. So why in the world did you suddenly have to intercede and start **personally insulting** me by saying that I was deliberately trying to agitate Snape's player? I never brought HER into the conversation. I was having an IN-CHARACTER CHAT with Severus. We were both being bitches to each other--because we were acting! It was fun. It was all in the spirit of play. And I take offense at the fact that you seem to think I am attacking anyone on these boards.


The Reply of Some Annonymous Mod was:
>>Er, calm down.
>>You weren't really addressing Snape IC, seeing as how as you referenced Order of the Phoenix in your comment to him, which he wouldn't have read seeing as he is a fictional character in said book, so that didn't really make any sense. You also made statements about things that have nothing to do with the game (re: fandom_wank). This is not in-character.

>>Your comment really came off as an attack on the player herself and she took it as such. Criticism is one thing but nonsensical tirades (particularly the type containing statements IN ALL CAPS) just are not on. It's not funny, nor will we percieve it as such, particularly when you invoke the name of Fandom_Wank as if you are actually looking for trouble. That will not inspire anyone to take you seriously, as you are finding out.

>>I suggest you find another way to "play along" with the characters as everyone else here has managed to do, without any trouble at all.
>>Your comments and concerns are being brought to the attention of the moderators of Nraged and N_A.
>>- a player


I thought it was particularly mean when they told me they hated me writing "IN ALL CAPS." Dammnit, they're cramping my STYLE! Not to mention... that's just so petty. And "nonsensical tirades"? As opposed to what, Malfoy's insults about me masturbating? And "invoke the name of Fandom_Wank?" That should be the internet's new insult.

I was a bit weirded out by the sudden accusations, but attempted to defend myself. Again, I tried to let them know again that I didn't mean to insult **anyone** and that it was all in fun and it was a tit for tat situation. Snape makes fun of me for being a "psuedo-intellectual," I tell him he has corny insults, we both leave smirking at the other. What's the big deal?


My Reply:
>>Okay, going down the list.
>>a) All right, you're correct on one major point. I did shift in and out of character when talking to Snape. I shouldn't have referred to Order of Phoenix-- he is a fictional character in it and obviously doesn't know of it.
>>But, in my defense, a lot of people were specifically referring to Snape's Writer, and giving her comments as well as him. They weren't strictly in character with Snape. Must I be held to a higher standard?

>>b) However, my major question is: Why must a reader passively take abuse from a character? Snape, in character, insulted me as "psuedo-intellectual." I, in turn, wanted to rile him up a little, and turn up my own nose. Think of a collusion of head-strong personalities, rather than a reader simply accepting insults from Snape. I thought the results were fun-- and was disappointed that Snape dismissed me so quickly.
>>So tell me-- why is it okay for Snape to insult me and not okay for me to stand up for myself? Why can't it be in-character for ME to be headstrong and piggish and irritating as well? I thought the results were entertaining and snarky. Jesus, we were just kicking sand into each others eyes for the heck of it. I think it was Lucius' player that made it seem like a big deal.

>>c) The reference to Fandom Wank was just a shout-out to Snape's writer and any regulars who might read it. Nothing more, nothing less. It was just a fun reference to a fun site that is NOT the pit of depravity and pettiness so many people think it is. It wasn't the big deal you seem to be making of it.


The mods at nraged are not appeased. They give me a slightly less than complete explanation for why they hate me so utterly now.


The Mods' reply was:
>>a) Maybe because no one saw fit to become antagonistic?
>>b) You were dismissed because you were seen as antagonistic.
>>c) The reference to fandom_wank was antagonistic as it was inviting trouble.
>>Are you sensing a theme, here?
>The discussion ends now. If you have anything further, send it to snape@nocturnealley.net. This thread will be deleted as it is bothering other people and other players.
>>- Snape's player


So apparently, I am an antagonistic person. No, really I am.


And the final message from the Mods I am sent before they ban my beaded pony butt:
>>intern_alley
2003-08-07 23:43 (link)
>>Bye bye now.
>>Much love,
>>NAM.

Personally I think the "Much love" part was particularly hurtful. I sure didn't *feel* very much love on that board. ::sobs::


I think a particularly vengeful part was when they deleted even my comments to **other members on unrelated topics.** Such as when CamillaBloom asked me:


>camillabloom: 2003-08-07 22:25
>>Forgive me for being so frank; - though this can't really come as a surprise - are you really a woman? And is that what there is '... between me and Professor Snape... '


and I answered something to the point of:
>>Yes. Yes, I am indeed a woman. A teenage girl, to be exist. And what's more, I don't think Snape is all that hot. And he looks far too old in the movies etc. etc. in that vein. I gave a shout out to drag-queens at some point. Drag queens! Who could fail to not be amused?!

And the mods... deleted it. Why? So others would never learn if I was a woman or not? To this day, I'm still not quite sure...


I suppose what I'm most confused about is the fact that there was such a huge double standard about insults at this RPG Q&A with Snape. It was perfectly all right for Snape and Malfoy to bitch and insult when I ask a question, but when I respond back in a teasing manner-- HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Apparently it's all right for them to call me "pathetic," "half-witted," "a quasi-intellectual," and going off on "nonsensical tirades". However, I can't tell Snape that I think he's avoiding my question, and he's not nearly as witty as he thinks he is. And really-- that is the *strongest* insult I used. "You are not nearly as witty as you think you are." And thus, I am banned.

And even that double-standard wouldn't have bothered me so much if they had come out and told me about it. Such as if they told me early on, "Don't talk back to the player characters." However I, because I told Snape he wasn't funny when he was insulting me, got banned within hours of my post. And when I attempted to defend myself and explained that I was only playing around and wasn't being belligerent, they refused to hear my arguments.

Which is why, good people of fandom wank, I come before you and ask you to render judgement. Was I being wanky here? (Feel free to hide the bitter truth from me.) Were they being wanky here? (Please say yes! My fragile ego need validation!) Or were we sort of wanking... together? ('Cause that's the bestest position of them all!)