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the__ivorytower ([info]the__ivorytower) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2011-04-19 10:53:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:persecution, videogames

Hats Are All The Rage in Portal 2
You got hats in my quirky puzzle game!

I've gone through about eight or nine pages, and not found anything specifically unfunny, and in fact, the censorship on the Valve forums is amusing, because it replaces swear words with little hearts, and there are a couple of custom replacements (piss into jarate).

Look for posts by Elementalos (starting on page 5) for defense of the cash for vanity items system, and there's a lot of general complaining.

And remember: Android Hell is a REAL place.

(Also, some bonus side wanking about WoW)
Page 1 of 2
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(Post a new comment)


[info]lainey
2011-04-19 05:07 pm UTC (link)
The pink hearts add a little bit of charm to every comment they appear in.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 05:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ridureyu, 2011-04-22 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-19 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2011-04-19 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-19 06:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2011-04-20 02:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ridureyu, 2011-04-22 09:51 pm UTC

[info]sneer
2011-04-19 05:13 pm UTC (link)
I can't get to the wank because I'm too busy giggling and flailing at screencaps of BOTS WITH HATS ON

I mean BOTS

WITH HATS

*flail*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lainey, 2011-04-19 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-19 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 05:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-19 08:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-19 08:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keleri, 2011-04-19 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 01:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2011-04-19 11:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]meagenimage, 2011-04-19 10:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-20 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jellibean, 2011-04-25 08:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-25 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frk_kake, 2011-04-20 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-20 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adevyish, 2011-04-20 09:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lainey, 2011-04-19 05:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-19 08:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lainey, 2011-04-20 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lainey, 2011-04-20 06:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 06:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2011-04-20 09:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ridureyu, 2011-04-22 09:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2011-04-27 05:39 am UTC

[info]blue_penguin
2011-04-19 05:45 pm UTC (link)
If they don't like the hats, they could just... not buy them. It's not like it's one of those things where you need to spend money on the extra stuff in order to have any hope of succeeding in the game.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hilohello, 2011-04-19 05:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2011-04-19 05:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2011-04-19 05:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ivalice, 2011-04-19 06:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2011-04-19 06:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]uldihaa, 2011-04-19 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcesx2, 2011-04-20 04:23 am UTC

[info]la_fono
2011-04-19 06:15 pm UTC (link)
If i played this, I expect I would be trying to resist buying a moustache for my robot right now. ♥_♥

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2011-04-19 06:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]la_fono, 2011-04-19 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-20 04:01 am UTC

[info]anarchicq
2011-04-19 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Can I buy a jester's hat?
No?
Then I don't give a flying HEART!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anarchicq, 2011-04-19 06:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 06:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nagaina, 2011-04-19 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2011-04-20 08:28 am UTC

[info]veneotaqueen
2011-04-19 06:23 pm UTC (link)
Wait, when all those hadware-gouging games became the polygonal version of Ragnarok Online?

Never been so happy that I live in a country where you have to ask permission to buy limited quantities of foreign currency for using it on your credit for electronic purchases, because the subscription don't compensat the surrounding idiocy. Cuarenta dólares al mes pa'esto...

(Reply to this)


[info]uldihaa
2011-04-19 06:39 pm UTC (link)
Valve: Masters of making their fans heart a brick out of their heart sideways.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2011-04-19 06:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-19 06:54 pm UTC

[info]taterbird
2011-04-19 08:15 pm UTC (link)
This kinda makes me want to burst into song!

This was a triumph!
I'm making a note here: Huge Success!
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Apeture Science: We're making the hats because we can,
For the good of all of us-
Except the ones with no heads...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-19 08:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2011-04-20 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-20 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2011-04-20 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-20 02:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2011-04-20 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-20 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taterbird, 2011-04-20 04:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-20 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2011-04-23 02:22 am UTC

[info]kefanii
2011-04-19 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Completely forgot about the hats when I saw that for the low low price of $1.99, Atlus can shrug.

I hearting love it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2011-04-19 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2011-04-20 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]insanityprelude, 2011-04-23 08:37 pm UTC

[info]wankaholic
2011-04-19 08:40 pm UTC (link)
Portal 2 wank, yaaaay.

Did you see the wank last night over people who were going ! D: NOFAIR because friends of the dinosaur on Steam got to play Portal 2 twenty minutes early? it was great.

also the wank when the potatoes started disappearing off the countdown site. :)

(Reply to this)


[info]sneer
2011-04-19 09:08 pm UTC (link)
From the official TF2 blog: the TF2 team takes credit for sneaking hats into Portal 2 at the last minute behind the Portal team's back.

All of us here on the TF2 team have been asking to play Portal 2 for months now.

"Go away," the Portal guys told us. "You'll just try to put hats in it."

XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2011-04-19 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2011-04-19 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keleri, 2011-04-20 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2011-04-20 04:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2011-04-20 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lainey, 2011-04-20 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]finchbird, 2011-04-20 06:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]synergasm, 2011-04-20 08:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2011-04-20 08:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adevyish, 2011-04-20 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2011-04-20 05:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2011-04-21 08:21 am UTC

[info]jupiterpluvius
2011-04-19 09:57 pm UTC (link)
Here is a true story about hats from real life:

When I went to Easter Island, my tour guide (who was awesome) told me all kinds of random factoids about the community as well as the archeological treasures.

So we were in the museum, and there was a display about 18th-century Spanish encounters with the Rapa Nui people, including a big engraving of the Rapa Nui trying on the Spaniards' hats. The text was something like "When the natives saw our hats, they were astonished, and would trade their most precious objects for them" &c. &c.

My tour guide said that his mother told him that, when she was a child and very few goods were imported to the island, all of the other kids were obsessed with hats. Hats were a huge status symbol among adults, so kids used to make their own out of banana leaves and old clothes and whatever, because nobody bothered to send any kids' hats to the island ever. When kids went away for school to Tahiti or mainland Chile (because in those days, the school on the island only taught children ages 6-12), the first thing they would do is buy a hat.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2011-04-19 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcesx2, 2011-04-20 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2011-04-20 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]paladin, 2011-04-20 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2011-04-20 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2011-04-20 08:44 am UTC

[info]xero_sky
2011-04-19 10:15 pm UTC (link)
I don't know WHO to trust in gaming anymore. Valve was the last one...

It's endearing how every change in game policy is actually a grotesque betrayal of human decency.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eleganceliberty, 2011-04-20 12:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ridureyu, 2011-04-22 10:16 pm UTC

[info]theelusiven
2011-04-19 10:29 pm UTC (link)
I think I'm going to start saying, "Oh, you hearting asshole!" instead of the alternative. It just sounds cuter.

And also, Portal icon.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2011-04-19 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2011-04-20 08:38 am UTC

[info]feenix
2011-04-20 12:37 am UTC (link)
I love how people thought they could get away with botting hats after the LAST hat wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]insanityprelude, 2011-04-23 08:38 pm UTC

[info]tez
2011-04-20 03:08 am UTC (link)
I don't play Portal, but I love this wank for both a) featuring hats, because I think hat wank is high on my list of favorite wank topics, and b) introducing me to the form of censorship used on the Valve forums.

I hearting love that heart.

(Reply to this)


[info]vzg
2011-04-20 05:03 am UTC (link)
You know, aside from my massive lack of funds, the only thing keeping me from playing Valve games now is the other players. Valve seems pretty damn awesome, but if people can get that upset about hats, I can't imagine how upset they'd get at someone playing with them who (GASP) doesn't understand the controls yet!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2011-04-20 07:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2011-04-20 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]swordmage, 2011-04-20 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2011-04-20 06:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2011-04-20 07:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2011-04-22 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2011-04-22 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2011-04-20 05:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-20 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2011-04-20 06:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2011-04-20 08:43 pm UTC

[info]swordmage
2011-04-20 05:40 am UTC (link)
I... think that I love Valve even more.

(Reply to this)


[info]bacon_lover
2011-04-20 07:30 am UTC (link)
Ever since Hot Shots, where Topper gives Dead Meat's widow his life savings and she states that she's going to "blow it all on hats," I've always referred to wasting money as blowing it all on hats.

So I kinda find this wank charming. HATS!

(Reply to this)


[info]caffeine_fairy
2011-04-20 02:17 pm UTC (link)
I have to make my son (who is 2) an Easter bonnet for nursery tomorrow. Frankly I'm feeling a little nauseous after all the flower and chick decked creations online. Anyone got any ideas for something that won't make him look like a smallholding fell on his head?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2011-04-20 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2011-04-20 11:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2011-04-20 10:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2011-04-20 11:09 pm UTC

[info]isntitironic
2011-04-20 04:00 pm UTC (link)
I don't think the DLC example works in a situation like this, DLC comes after releases in other games. Here you start your new $50 game on release day, and right off the bat you feel that you don't have the "complete" game that some others might. "Really, they want more money already?"

THE GAME IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT HATS.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2011-04-20 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2011-04-21 08:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ridureyu, 2011-04-22 09:34 pm UTC

[info]alecto
2011-04-20 05:08 pm UTC (link)
Yummy, yummy hat wank. I can understand not liking the hats (unusual hats in TF2 are really annoying for one thing and can drop your FPS), but there are ways around them. It's the utter and incredible sense of moral outrage and bile each time over mostly cosmetic items that never fails to make me laugh.

SPUF, you're just too easy. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

(Reply to this)


[info]mcity
2011-04-22 03:06 am UTC (link)
>And remember: Android Hell is a REAL place.

Boy, I almost walked straight onto a minefield of Portal 2 spoilers, didn't I?

I wish I knew if my computer could run it.

(Reply to this)


[info]ridureyu
2011-04-22 09:34 pm UTC (link)
So, basically just the same wank that happens whenever any game has DLC, whether important or superfluous?

Here, look at it this way.

A new video game in the 1980s - $60

A new video game now - $60.

Video game prices have not adjusted themselves with inflation, and yet games themselves cost far, far, faaaaaaar more to make. I don't relaly complain so much about DLC when I realize that, even if you buy a ton of it for a game, you're pretty much only paying what the game would have cost had they readjusted themselves for inflation. The only difference now is that you can opt to ignore some unnecessary thrills (hats, oooh) in exchange for a cheaper price.


Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go buy a hat.

(Reply to this)


[info]ridureyu
2011-04-22 09:49 pm UTC (link)
I am surprised that nobody has posted this yet.

(Reply to this)
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