I like realism even for porn. I’ve always been the kind of writer who has to have stories grounded in reality, who researches for hours for throw-away lines. Maybe to some that’s “too polished” but to me it’s the difference between being an amateur hobbyist and a professional.

No, actually; the difference is in taking a professional attitude towards criticism - either by accepting that it might be right, or by deciding that it's completely wrong and just letting it go. It's only amateurs who turn around and try to strike down their critics with devastating argument; professionals simply don't need to.

(And all those paranoid paid authors who do so are being unprofessional and could learn a lesson from a great many unpaid ones who don't.)