I want to understand the "too polished" criticism, but the fic is in present tense. I hate fiction written in present tense. So I skimmed it, and this stood out: I want it to be special because I love you so much that I have to show you or I’ll explode

That's -- that's pretty bad. And the afterplay conversation about bananas is also pretty bad. I'm not feeling any emotional reality here.

And then there's this: Kurt lines his cock up to Blaine’s hole and pauses to watch his boyfriend. This is his last time seeing Blaine, the virgin. This is the last time he is Kurt, the virgin.

They have had oral sex already. 1) There is no "hymen" analogue in the anus, it will get just as tight again if it's not penetrated for a while. 2) Not having penetrated or not having been penetrated does not equal virginity. 3) Lines his cock up to Blaine's hole? The body is not a peg box!

So I still don't really get "too polished", but it's certainly lacking in real human behavior and emotions.