Good writers only, please!
Many thanks to the anon on wank_report for this one; I've used almost all your wording in this post.


So, there's been a lot of general complaining on the Sherlock rant meme lately about terrible prompts on the kink meme, as well as terrible fills.

The current wank started with an offhand comment from one of the anons:

Is it wrong that I have the urge to add a 'only good writers please' note to the end of every prompt I make?

Probably why I haven't prompted anything in over a month when last time I prompted something I got a really shitty fill.

This leads to some people going to the prompt post and making (troll) prompts with just that request at the end, some of which are filled:



1.
Sherlock and John spend an evening curled up on the beach while on vacation together. Unfortunately, they're so busy gazing into each others' eyes rapturously to notice the deadly jelly fish washing up on the beach. One stings John, and Sherlock has to pee on him to make it better.

Only fills from good authors, please!

2.
Mycroft has been alone his entire life. That is, until Lestrade shows up at his door carrying a drugged-out-of-his-mind Sherlock. To thank Lestrade for taking care of his brother, Mycroft invites Lestrade over for tea and then sex.

Only fills from good authors, please!

3.
Jim starts crying while making love to Sebastian Moran. Seb stops and, as he's tenderly wiping away Jim's tears, asks what's the matter. Jim confesses that he loves Seb, and this frightens him. Seb assures him that love is nothing to be frightened of, and then brings Jim to climax while whispering gentle, loving terms of endearment into his ear.

Only fills from good authors, please.

4.
Irene and Molly meet up to talk about Sherlock. After listening to Molly's pathetic pining, Irene takes it upon herself to train Molly in the art of seduction. That dress she wore to the Christmas party? Totally Irene's idea. But Irene gets jealous when she sees Lestrade, on whom she has been crushing, making eyes at Molly, and so she exchanges Molly's shampoo for hair bleach.

Only fills from good authors, please.

5.
Mycroft has a thing for openly pissing on people's gardens. Something about tainting all that they have labored for is very satisfying to him. Turns out that Jim also shares this pass-time (as well as feeding the pigeons). They bound while making wee-wee on Mrs. Hudson's magnolias.

Only fills from good authors, please!

6.
Anderson is tired of being depicted as a flat, bitter character. To prove he's a good guy, he sneaks into 221B and tears down the ugly wallpaper and puts up something nice and contemporary as a welcome home gift to Sherlock. Unfortunately, it turns out that Sherlock's father had put up the old wallpaper with his bare hands, right before being attacked and killed by a swarm of bees. Sherlock is heartbroken to see it gone and shoots Anderson in the testicles for it.

Only fills from good authors, please!

7.
John loses his dick at the pool. Moriarty finds it and treats it as his lover.

Fills from good writers only, please.

8.
Jim grew up quite poor, and never really knew when his next meal would be. As such, he always made sure to eat very bit of food that was given to him. This complex comes out when Seb takes him to an All You Can Eat buffet and he ends up eating until he has a massive, round, food baby tummy. Except it turns out it's a real baby, and he goes into labor shortly thereafter. They name it Dory and teach her to communicate with whales so they can rule the marine life, too.

Please only good writers!

And more here, here, here and here (this is actually a pretty cool prompt).

Eventually, people starting changing up the requests, asking for terrible writers only, mediocre writers only, Klingon speaking authors only, and:

One morning, Sherlock Holmes awoke from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a giant penis.

Fills by wood rothers only, please.

Some anons start adding comment addendums to other prompts with the "only good writers" line while pretending to be the OP.

Meanwhile, people start to show up back at the rant post, angry about the "good writers only" prompts and unaware of how they originated. One such person, johnnypenn, makes a comment on the rant post decrying the prompts:


Okay.
I'm not trying to make waves here, but this is a rant post right? So, I do believe I've come to the right place.

What is up with the Anon adding "only good writer's please" on the end of their propt posts?
I'm in no way being mean. I just think this is rather rude. I mean, the meme all ready has a problem with a lot of the prompts not being filled. And then someone comes along and decides to tell people that they have to be a 'good' writer to fill that kink prompt?

I'm sorry, but Good is relative in writing.
For instance, I think Meyer's sucks as a writer. I despise Twilight. But there are a ton of people who love her work.
I LOVE Hunter S. Thompson. I think he's a brilliant writer. But, some people don't like his work.

We all have different tastes in writing. And I think it's a shame to go around and tell people that if they aren't good enough, don't bother filling this. It's pretentious and rude. I'm not going to fill because of that, only. Rude.
They're good prompts, don't get me wrong. I just dislike the "if you aren't a good writer don't bother filling this because I won't read and I won't appreciate it because I want someone who can ACTUALLY write!"

Well - I shall say this.
It sucks to be you.
No one is perfect when it comes to writing. It is whatever that person writes and if someone doesn't like it; tough.
It's rude and impolite to go around and adding such a....troll-like comment. Who died and made you Queen of deciding what writer is good enough for your prompts? get the fuck over yourself.

And yeah., I'm posting this under my name. Because that is BULLSHIT!


And the thread quickly turns into a complete wank fest, including gifs and anons quoting lines from johnnypenn's fics:

He tried to keep his mind bus by deducing the room;

He'd ordered Sherlock naked and onto the bed. Then he had chained him down and left him there to strew;

and

The fingers had found that spot which made the semen to be released.