Entry tags:

2 wanks in one day? it's a miracle!, fandom entitlement, vintage wank

'I am more than disappointed, I am angry'
I recently went to visit the Boston area, and specifically to visit the $1-used-book shelves at Brattle Books, and there I picked up a copy of "Edgar Rice Burroughs Quarterly, vol 1., no. 1, Fall, 1982". Because who wouldn't? (You may know of ERB fandom from things such as Tarzan and the John Carter of Mars books. It has a history almost as long and excellent as ACD fandom, with which it often crossed over.)

What I didn't realize until I got it home is that it contained a bonus: a beautiful example of pristine, vintage, excellent fan history, in the form of an impressively wank-filled open letter sent from the editor to all of his subscribers.

I reproduce it here, unaltered and in full, for your delectation:

2 December 1982

AN OPEN LETTER TO SUBSCRIBERS OF EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS QUARTERLY

Trouble has been brewing ever since publication of V.I, No.1. It stems from Marion Burroughs (wife of ERB's only living child) who is in charge of Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc. Other board members include two of ERB's grandsons, Dan Burroughs and Mike Pierce.

Marion Burroughs disapproves of the ERBQ and refuses to show a copy of it to her husband (Hulbert) on the grounds that it might "upset him." She further maintains that the ERBQ is "in competition with the corporation" and has forbidden the other Board members from supporting it in any way. She declares that, if the journal continues, it will have to undergo a change of name to indicate that it is NOT endorsed by the Burroughs family. Meanwhile, she has forbidden further advertising for additional subscriptions.

This is in violation of our contract in which I agreed to give Edgar Rice Burroughs complete ownership to the journal personally without help from the corporation, in return for the privilege of editing previously unpublished materials from the Burroughs archives. I offered in writing to remit to them any proceeds which might accrue after printing costs had been paid.

I feel that Marion Burroughs' attitude is tantamount to looking a gift horse in the teeth, and being the ONLY ONE who has failed to admire the dentures. I am more than disappointed; I am angry. Therefore, I have delivered an ultimatum via Danton Burroughs (Marion will not correspond with me directly), giving them until January, 1983 to change their minds, support the ERBQ, and SUBSIDIZE IT until it becomes self-supporting, guaranteeing interest on their investment.

The bottom line is this: If the ERBQ is not accepted and legitimized by the Burroughs family corporation by January, 1983 I will personally refund all subscriptions recieved to date (less $5 for the first issue) and stop publication before the second issue goes to press.

In closing, may I say that I am enormously pleased with your response and support, and deeply humiliated to bring this bad news to your attention. I have done what I can to support the Burroughs image and, indeed, have exciting plans for future issues of the ERBQ. But if the Burroughs family doesn't want me, then I have to get on with my life, as would any of you who read this. All is not lost. Perhaps the corporation will come to reason. But if not, I thank every one of you who has invested in this enterprise in good faith and cold hard cash. You will be repaid.

Yours in the heroic tradition of Edgar Rice Burroughs,
[signature]
George T. McWhorter
Curator, Rare Books & Special Collections;
Editor: ERBQ

*fans self* Wank was just so much classier back then.

(There is more to this story - McWhorter eventually managed to start an ERB journal that lasted more than one issue, so there must be - but I think I shall just leave this letter as is, as its own shining jewel.)