Fledgling wank
Most Monkees fans fit into one of three archetypes: the psycho, the angsty fan, and the happy-go-lucky types who are in it for the fun and the music and nothing more.

These folks are the middle type. The first poster is P--name reduced to a single letter to protect the wanky. The story I’m about to tell is real. I think.



Subject: Hi everyone...I have some sad news....

Hi...I have some sad news to report. I hate to do this but we're
leaving the group.

R: Do I have ta go too?

(“R” in this case is a clone character that the posters have convos with. Not ALL of them, mind you...)

P: No...you don't. That's why I was going to ask ****** for a
big favor. Can R come stay with you for a while? He
needs a good home and I can no longer give it to him. Sorry :( If I
could explain it, I would, but I can't.

R: But I don't want you to leave. Can't you...

P (In tears): Sorry. I can't stay. I have to go somewhere
else for a while.

R: Will you come back for me?

P (More tears): Maybe some day, babe. But for now, this chick
needs to take some space away from things...groups included.

In reality, everyone...I am serious. I must leave the group. I may
not be back and I'm sorry for not finishing my story. I have to re-
write some things on it. For those who would like the rest of the
story, please e-mail me. For those who wouldn't mind a pen-pal,
please e-mail me too. It's (email deleted)

Sorry that I can't give an explaination but I really must go. I
don't think I'll be back so please forgive me. But I need to do this.

Thanks for all the fun and memories.

Love...

P

Not wanky yet, even though earlier today she was posting like nothing was wrong and if there had been an emergency or disaster P at least has her head screwed on straight enough to tell everyone in less cryptic terms. The “poor me” quotient is high here, but don’t we all get whiny at some point or another? I mean, nevermind that she spattered this all over a list where the majority doesn’t have a CLUE what the hell she’s talking about . . .

So several people respond--one wishing her luck and saying she’ll adopt R, the other begging her to stay. Then the moderator M posts, pleading with her as well to stay.


P,

Please, please stay. Please reconsider. We will ALL miss you very
much.

Love,
M

Awwww. Again, not wanky.

BUT--then P posts again!


I am trying to decide whether you really want me here or not. I'll
stay only *if* you want me to, M. But it has to be up to you.

P

Yes, because we all know that the moderator is a lying little sack who couldn’t tell the truth if her life depended on it. To me this just REEKS of “I’ll only stay if you kiss my ass!”

Here’s where it gets tricky. Earlier today M posted a drabble to the list--nothing earth-shattering or even that interesting, but shortly after she did P sent her departure post, and then, after everything that transpired above, M posts this to the list:


Because of personal reasons i have retracted my story. please forget it was there those of you who read it. thank you! i am going to try another one.

Um, okay. *twilight zone music*

Is the wank making me paranoid or is paranoia making me wank?