Delicious AO3 Comment wank
(Thank you to a mousey at wank_report! I have c/p your commentary verbatim, only adding links.)

Ten days ago, author FelicityGS posted "There's Nothing There" a Loki/Steve Rogers fic, and lo, there was squee...for three comments. [ETA: Added correct link, because I'm apparently a dumbass before coffee.]

Until, that is, the following mild concrit is posted by "J":

"Almost all of the parenthesis and several commas were unnecessary. If a sentence goes on for more than two lines, it should probably be broken up into two or more sentences. You might want to get a beta who is really good with grammar/punctuation. Otherwise, great story. Very cute and well thought out. (:"

Felicity GS does Not Take It Well, and in a series of comments compares her work to that great author "Nabakov", and claims her "style" trumps such things as "proper grammar" and "readability", closing with this flourish:

But do me a fucking favour:

don't fucking tell me I need a fucking goddamn beta who knows grammar really fucking well and that I could get rid of all those fucking parens and had too many fucking commas because I did not use any of those fucking lightly and you are a fucking douche.

Because if the above didn't give it away?

I know fucking grammar. I know style. I am comfortable in my style, I have given thought to my style, and I know the difference between grammar and style. I write fanfiction as a labour of love and to share stories, to hone my craft and to practice what I have been doing since I could hold a pen.

Fuck.

You.

<3

Her commenters are rather boggled, except for an anon who immediately starts rending garments in response to someone leaving a critique on - GASP! - a Yuletide fic:

But you're probably also someone who tells their granny the Christmas socks scratch and the cookies are dusty instead of doing the right thing. What a miserable bunch of hypocrites and nasty bitches claimed Yuletide this year!

Unfortunately, the fic has nothing whatsoever to do with Yuletide, and fellow anons take him/her/zie/them to task for the mistake:

Gift exchange? Yuletide? Also, the author was the one reacting with hostility to a helpful comment-- vile, abusive hostility. WITH AN EPIC NOVEL OF OVERLY DEFENSIVE BABBLE.

I don't even-- what is with your comment? Are you trying to paint me as some sort of hands-rubbing, world-domination-wanting Grinch? Where are you going with this absurd reading into things that aren't there at all?

FelicityGS deflects blame by claiming she was "stressed" and wrote the fic to ease said mental strain. She also complains about the meanness of the author who dared leave her concrit, up to and including misrepresenting the content of the feedback:

"No. It was not helpful nor constructive. It said "this sucks, this sucks, do better, oh and the idea was nice."

That is not useful."

Still active and ongoing, as FelicityGS's comments have hit both Yuletide Coal and Fail Fandom Anon, where, unsurprisingly, is hilarity at FelicityGS's overreaction.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

FelicityGS has taken the wank to her own tumblr (all stylistic choices original):

I.

Love.

Parentheses.

And you can pry them away from me and my style over my cold, dead body.

(fuck you)

(no seriously)

(but not you guys that actually explain why you don’t like parens, you guys are cool)

Commas? Okay, yeah, there are some comma splices in the story. No big. Whatever. I literally typed it up and posted it, and there are some spots I wouldn’t mind smoothing a bit. And I am willing to bet most the commas that you think are ‘unnecessary’ are, in fact, doing things. Like separating lists, or clauses, or, you know, THINGS THAT COMMAS DO.

I actually feel delightfully, refreshingly vindicated and good for breaking down that comment and addressing it in that manner, because I can look at it and see that, no, no, I’m not fucking crazy.

You may not be crazy, sweetie, but you are certainly a wanker.