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insignificant other ([info]snacky) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2013-03-09 08:46:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:deathmatch

Tenth Anniversary Deathmatch, first round, part 1
Hello, fandom_wank! Are you ready to vote?

Here's how this will go: I will post a new round every day. You have until the next day's post to vote in that round. Then we move on to next round, with all the first round winners, the quarterfinals, the semi-finals, and the final round on Sunday, March 17th.

Refer to this post for links to all the contestants.

Poll #591
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

You choose:

View Answers

Lee Goldberg
87 (32.1%)

Bartending in the dark
184 (67.9%)

You choose:

View Answers

His wife? A horse
254 (93.7%)

The Biting Faery and incest is creepy
17 (6.3%)

You choose:

View Answers

Dumbledore is gay
151 (56.8%)

Diana Gabaldon has an opinion on fanfic
115 (43.2%)

You choose:

View Answers

God's magical pubic hairs
141 (54.2%)

Usagi Kou
119 (45.8%)



Ready? VOTE.

ETA: Interestingly, there is no option to close a poll on JF (unlike on LJ). As of 3/10/13, 10:30 a.m. EST, this poll is closed. I can't stop you if you vote after that, but no votes will be counted after that point.

(Post a new comment)


[info]risha
2013-03-09 03:08 pm UTC (link)
I am relieved to discover that I have firm opinions after all. With such an embarrassment of riches, I feared that I'd be here reading for hours.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]lady_ganesh
2013-03-09 05:10 pm UTC (link)
I had a really hard time with Lee Goldberg vs. bartending in the dark, but I remembered them both very well.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]franzen
2013-03-09 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Me too. Lee Goldberg is ... dramatic and ridiculous and a hypocrite and it's hilarious but also very real. Bartending in the Dark is due to a RATINGS COMMUNITY.

I had to go with BITD just because it was so much easier to laugh at and had no redeeming "hey, maybe there's some actual idea embedded in the cesspit of wank" factor. Also, the punctuation. I work at a goth club....

I need to add Bartender to a Phoenix Wright case, because that would be awesome.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2013-03-10 03:45 am UTC (link)
Bartending in the Dark is funny. Lee Goldberg is just kind of sad and annoying. Mostly annoying.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]spawn_of_kong
2013-03-09 07:10 pm UTC (link)
This.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladyvyola
2013-03-09 05:39 pm UTC (link)
I just checked my JF creation date and it's March 17, 2003, the day after F_W was created.

So I have a question -- how many of us followed F_W here without missing a beat like the lemmings she-wolves hyenas we are?

I'm not an addict. I can stop any time I wa-- ooooo, new wank! So shiny!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]xturtle
2013-03-09 06:39 pm UTC (link)
I just checked my creation date, because I couldn't remember when I started hanging out here. I started lurking around the time of the move, after being alerted via my LJ flist, but finally got an account the next January. And now I feel old.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ari_
2013-03-09 09:51 pm UTC (link)
all accounts are numbered in the order they're created, it's next to your username in your profile. f_w is #2 (system is #1).

I was lucky enough to be online when the info about JF came out and got a really low number

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]franzen
2013-03-09 10:24 pm UTC (link)
I've been watching and/or commenting since autumn '03, so I'm old. This account is newish. (I lost the keys to my old one.)

I remember the post-CW influx, anon commenting being a regular thing, former Big Name Wankas, etc. One interesting thing is tracking how fandom norms have involved. We used to have to remind people that we weren't the goddamn fandom police and that we were only here for the mock. But plenty of things that were wanks then wouldn't be now -- there's probably an abstruse point to be made about socializing out particularly awful behaviour, advancement of social justice issues in fandom, etc., but I'm too busy mourning the fact that The Countess didn't make the voting round.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]quantumreality
2013-03-09 11:35 pm UTC (link)
I came across f_w around the time I ran across the Cassandra Claire writeup on JF. I think I'm one of the last people who managed to get an account on JF through the free account creation option when they had it miraculously opened up for a while.

Ever since then new people seem to have had to get accounts from other JFers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]seiberwing
2013-03-10 12:01 am UTC (link)
I followed it since before I was old enough to be here--I applied for an official account on my birthday.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]puipui
2013-03-10 02:04 am UTC (link)
I didn't get here until June 5, 2003, but after that, yeah, pretty much without missing a beat. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]squeakytoy
2013-03-10 03:17 am UTC (link)
August 2003. Wow. Coming up on ten years...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]queencallipygos
2013-03-09 06:15 pm UTC (link)
I'm stunned that there are people who didn't vote for "His Wife, A Horse" in that matchup.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]queencallipygos
2013-03-09 06:16 pm UTC (link)
Not that the "Incest is Creepy" wank isn't a great one, I'm talking more like "His Wife, A Horse" is like if you threw threw Derek Jeter in with a kids' T-ball league.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tez
2013-03-09 08:12 pm UTC (link)
"His Wife, A Horse" -- the Derek Jeter of wanks?

So that would make it...what, the Inspiring Team Leader or something?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dorothy1901
2013-03-10 01:40 am UTC (link)
I might have voted for the faerie instead of the horse guy if it were Bohemianfaerie instead of Biting Faery. "What are your thoughts on yaoi?" is a classic, plus it has a wider scope than the story of one mixed-species threesome and their battle with a community mod.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ruaki
2013-03-09 06:44 pm UTC (link)
Really sad the pubic hair LJ entry no longer works; I commented on it but damned if I remember what I thought was so funny since all I did was link to comment threads saying they were funny. QQ And it's rare for me to come out of lurkdom to actually comment on a wank so it must've been good.

(Reply to this)


[info]msilverstar
2013-03-09 08:42 pm UTC (link)
ack, I don't remember some of these

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]msilverstar
2013-03-09 08:43 pm UTC (link)
plus, you have to have a JF account to vote

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2013-03-09 09:40 pm UTC (link)
That's how the polls work, yeah. Snacky has had arm surgery and we don't feel like counting up text votes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]snacky
2013-03-09 09:42 pm UTC (link)
thanks for letting me know

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]snacky
2013-03-09 09:32 pm UTC (link)
That is why I gave the link to the wanks in the post! :D

http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1295294.html

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wankismyfandom
2013-03-09 08:59 pm UTC (link)
All of these were easy except the last one. Knitting wank vs. Usagi Kou? DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE! (Except for how I did, somehow.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darksumomo
2013-03-09 10:45 pm UTC (link)
I voted for Usagi Kou because I have one degree of separation from her. I'd read about her on the FW Wiki, then mentioned her to my then-roommate, who is a cosplayer. I turned out she knew Usagi Kou. When my roomie was getting started in cosplaying, Usagi Kou was hosting a panel and picked out my roomie as a good cosplayer. My roomie never know how wanky Usagi Kou was, and I don't think I ever told her.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]wankismyfandom
2013-03-10 10:05 am UTC (link)
I ended up opting for Usagi Kou in the end, too, just because she brought us many batshit wanks instead of just the one. Sounds like your roomie dodged a bullet, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bobgenghiskhan
2013-03-10 11:44 pm UTC (link)
I hung out with her one time when I was a cosplayer. She was perfectly nice to me, but I never knew her well enough to get wanky. Or infringed on her copyrighted pose.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2013-03-11 09:08 am UTC (link)
I've run into her a couple times at Anime Expo and rode the elevator with her once. I had to fight the urge to laugh.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lied_ohne_worte
2013-03-09 09:22 pm UTC (link)
Oh dear, there went an hour or so.

Wasn't the horse man arrested later on, or am I imagining things? It's rather hard to google this, actually.

Also, if you google "his wife? a horse" without any further narrowing down, you get a considerable number of results related to Mitt Romney, which amuses me rather a lot even though I'm not American.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2013-03-09 09:44 pm UTC (link)
The tale of horse-wife is not a happy one, but the first wank is pretty funny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tez
2013-03-09 09:58 pm UTC (link)
I discovered that when I was looking for the wank a while ago.

I laughed really hard.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]franzen
2013-03-09 10:20 pm UTC (link)
Man, I taught my mom about Bartending In the Dark (dramatic punctuation included). So many good times.

I've been around and commenting at FW since pre-CrystalWank. True story: I pieced together my understanding of HP fandom through sugar packets and wank reports. Remember when Aja had to take down that one fic and it was, like, breaking news? SO MANY OF MY MEMORIES CAN BE DATED TO WHAT WAS ON FANDOM WANK.

(Reply to this)


[info]hopsandbarley
2013-03-10 03:00 am UTC (link)
I wasn't even a JF user at the time I discovered "His wife? A horse", and even I know that one wins over all of these.

Hell, the title of the wank is basically my go-to response for any discussion of bestiality on the web (...yes, I am frequently in situations where there are discussions of bestiality. I watch the live version of "What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?").

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2013-03-10 03:06 am UTC (link)
yes, I am frequently in situations where there are discussions of bestiality. I watch the live version of "What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?")


wait what

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hopsandbarley
2013-03-10 03:16 am UTC (link)
There've been a few times when Nash and Tara get a story concerning some idiot screwing or wanting to screw animals. Usually donkeys, for some really bizarre reason.

They also got a story last week about a guy fucking an ambulance. Best quote of the show? "'WEEEE-OOOO WEEEE-OOOO WEEE-OOOO' means 'No!'"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2013-03-10 03:47 am UTC (link)
I am reminded of a friend's reaction to the existence of Knight Rider Michael/KITT slash: "So...the tailpipe?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hopsandbarley
2013-03-10 03:50 am UTC (link)
Actually, the guy was apparently humping the front. Unsurprisingly, he was high off his ass.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]franzen
2013-03-10 10:52 pm UTC (link)
I remember SNL running an ad for a luxury car "you can actually have sex with" back in the 90s. Position was the same. Dear God. My childhood just took a hit.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]queencallipygos
2013-03-10 05:59 am UTC (link)
I have been shown pictures of a guy fucking a chicken carcass. Like, as in he bought a Purdue Oven-Stuffer, got home and presumably just went to town.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]luthe
2013-03-10 06:34 am UTC (link)
Somebody took "Just keep fucking that chicken" a little too literally...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]franzen
2013-03-10 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Try explaining THAT case of salmonella to a doctor.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hooloovoo_too
2013-03-10 07:56 am UTC (link)
I don't know what I'm going to do if it comes down to "His wife? A horse" and "My little ponies hate you".

I will be spoiled for equine choice.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]coffee_mug
2013-03-10 02:19 pm UTC (link)
I am still waiting for the brony wank that tops both of those, but it might be impossible. (Every brony kerfluffle I've seen is more unfunny than funny.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bobgenghiskhan
2013-03-10 11:48 pm UTC (link)
I think the Brony He-Man Woman-Hater's Club is too unfunny to really give us a glorious wank.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2013-03-11 06:57 am UTC (link)
Maybe if they all turned on each other, and meanwhile someone was trying to sell drawings that turned out to be obvious photomanips.

Failing that, though, I have some high hopes for that new one involving the con ripoff. *keeps fingers crossed*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tez
2013-03-10 11:11 am UTC (link)
Some of these it makes me sad that I was not around from the get-go of JF. I missed some glorious, glorious batshit.

...but I was still here for the horse.

Icon appropriate.

(Reply to this)


[info]surrexi
2013-03-10 12:04 pm UTC (link)
The hardest choice for me was Dumbledore is gay versus Diana Gabaldon's opinion about fanfic. I ended up going with DG and fanfic because, having read the Outlander series, I rather enjoyed all the "she wrote WHAT?!" that was going on in the comments.

The anniversary stuff has had me trying to remember when my first visit to fandom_wank was... I feel like it was probably Crystalwank, but I lurked for years before I signed up for an account, so it's hard to pinpoint.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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