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cleolinda
2013-03-12 07:33 pm UTC (link)

I was trying to recap the Snapewives for someone last night and... I couldn't. "I think there were shrines and maybe green candles? How many of them were there, I can't even remember? Something about salami, and then I clawed my eyes out?" So then I started reading the entry out over the phone and found myself saying, "And then Snape told them not to post on Fandom Wank anymore." You know, as you do.

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	franzen 2013-03-12 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	It's hard to interact with those outside the bubble. I dug myself into incoherence trying to explain "fuck you, I'm a dragon" and otherkin. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2013-03-13 12:57 am UTC (link)
	See, the best part is, the person I was talking to DID keep up with FW back in the day; she just couldn't remember precisely what happened with the Snapewives. And I STILL couldn't explain it. "Where were you when I wanted to be eaten" is another good one to try explaining to someone. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

franzen
2013-03-13 01:41 am UTC (link)

I'm in fandom and I get confused, man. Snapewives was one of those wanks where -- I know the name, I know that it happened, but, God help me, it exploded and it reached the point of so many ETAs and new posts that I just lost track. I mean, once you know that a group of people are convinced that they're married to Snape on the astral plane and have meditation rituals about it, what the hell else do you need to know?!

I'm going to go to hell for this (and many other things), but "where were you when I wanted to be eaten" inevitably pops into my head every time Slate runs an article on the "Cannibal Cop." They did, in fact, explain vore. Remember when we were freaked out by that? Ah, so many years ago.

I'm sure you get this all the freaking time, but I wanted to tell you that I admire you and how you've handled Internet Fame. You became super-famous while I was going through a lot of grief and isolation and your reviews, no matter how many times I'd read them, made me smile. (It's like Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything -- I can open it anywhere and fall right it; it's the literary equivalent of a big, comfy sweater on a rainy day.) I remember that you were posting about graduate school (and spilled perfume and smelling like a hippie -- I commit the weirdest details to memory, apparently) and being stressed, but you've never been anything but gracious to your fans and fellow wankas. I hope you're doing well, personally, and thank you, sincerely, for making me laugh during what was one of the worst times of my life. I still use "I think I saw a porno like this once" far too often, even if no one I know remembers when that phrase was inescapable. (I'm bringing "porno" back? Yeah.) Sorry, all the FW nostalgia must be getting to me and making me soft. There's a limit to the number of times you can be told you're awesome and still "hear" it, but with all the ~looking back~ going on, I realized I should say it already. So: you're awesome.

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	cleolinda 2013-03-13 01:56 am UTC (link)
	"Super-famous" is maybe overstating it a little, but--thank you. That's a very nice thing to hear on a day I was sick and the plumbing declared war. I'm glad I could do anything to help. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

franzen
2013-03-14 02:24 am UTC (link)

You're welcome. :) My father died unexpectedly, and grief makes anything or anyone that makes you feel human or lets you laugh golden.

I'm sorry you're sick. I've been dealing with the flu since the start of the year (which sounds worse than it is -- I just haven't quite recovered, thanks to delayed response due to autoimmune) and it blows. But I've also had to wage war with the plumbing and have learned some good tricks. A bottle of sulfuric acid from a hardware store is a girl's best friend for many a problem, as is boiling water (if you think something is stuck or wedged into the pipe and it's not, like, a flank steak that someone put down the shower for fun, the boiling water trick will usually do wonders).

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cleolinda
2013-03-14 03:07 am UTC (link)

Yeah, see, it's basically a toilet full of hate. The handle broke off and then also it started flooding for apparently a completely separate reason. And then a second toilet decided to close ranks on us and gush water as well. They're original to the house, and apparently they have extremely specific expiration dates, these toilets. So we're getting someone to come out here (we have a contract, it magically won't cost us umpteen million dollars) and replace the workings of both of them, and then reassure me that they didn't both start gushing water out of pure cussedness.

/cool story

I've heard that vinegar, with or without baking soda, basically solves all your problems as well? Including plumbing. However, now that I ALSO have an electric kettle upstairs, I am not opposed to trying this boiling water business on the shower drain.

... WHAT IF WE BOIL THE VINEGAR

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franzen
2013-03-14 05:06 am UTC (link)

OH HEY I'VE HAD YOUR PROBLEM SO I MIGHT BE USEFUL.

If the problem is out of sight and in the pipes, turning the water off and waiting for the level to drop (or bailing, if you have to) is step one. Try pouring boiling water into the bowl and see if it makes it through. If it doesn't, you can try plunging once it's cooled or wait for the level to sink again.

I don't know about vinegar, but this is when I use the sulfuric acid. It has a certain smell but it's not godawful. It needs 15 minutes to work, then you flush. If it just pools at the base of the toilet, the first flush will just get it into the pipe (so you might want to keep the water level below normal). You CAN attempt plunging if there's liquid, but be careful, as you don't want acid splash back. (I've never had it happen, but I have had a drop of the stuff hit my hand from the bottle and it's a mild sting.) You can also -- I've found this has a 100 percent success rate in my house, with godawful pipes -- do the acid (or another agent that will dissolve organic matter), flush, and then do boiling water again -- adding the water will, ideally, dissolve/break up/shift any organic blocks in the pipe and push the acid into the pipe. If things still aren't normal, plunge and plunge again. Wait for that beautiful "whoomph" noise. Fist pumping is not optional at this stage. Then sterilize/wash your kettle or whatever instrument you used to pour water in.

Boiled Vinegar is going to be the name of my rock band. We'll do mournful covers of power pop 'cause we're indie.

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	caffeine_fairy 2013-03-13 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	I was trying to explain that to my husband the other day. I did not meet with success. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bienegold 2013-03-12 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	I was so torn, because I think caito (and you) deserves commendation for her valor. But...delicatessen gangbang! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2013-03-13 12:56 am UTC (link)
	Wait, did I have anything to do with Russet Noon? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bienegold 2013-03-13 01:15 am UTC (link)
	I meant Lexicongate but organize my thoughts poorly. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2013-03-13 01:17 am UTC (link)
	Heh. It was a Twilight wank, so I legitimately could not remember. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sarkasm 2013-03-12 10:28 pm UTC (link)
	I had to explain Snapewives to someone after inadvertently mentioning the F-W anniversary on tumblr. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	perletwo 2013-03-13 12:42 am UTC (link)
	I kind of picture the Snapewives' corner of the astral plane as looking a lot like the back room in Manos: The Hands of Fate: Snape's astral form asleep on a bier surrounded by torches, the Snapewives in sheer nighties all sleeping standing up, waiting for the Master to summon them... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	singe 2013-03-13 04:35 am UTC (link)
	...a creeper with bloated knees running around... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	blackmamba 2013-03-13 07:02 am UTC (link)
	And occasionally engaging in full contact nightgown wrestling. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2013-03-13 12:54 am UTC (link)
	Something about salami, and then I clawed my eyes out? I think that's pretty close to summing it up, right there. Yep. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2013-03-13 01:01 am UTC (link)
	For some reason, I had confabulated some version of it in my memory that involved five or six women catfighting over which one of them Snape loved best. And yet I had totally forgotten the vows, the tattoo(s?), and one of them showing up in the comments. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_dallas 2013-03-13 02:38 am UTC (link)
	oh gawds I forgot about the Snape Sausage, ack! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	coffee_mug 2013-03-13 09:32 am UTC (link)
	Severus told them. Because he hates being called 'Snape'. So much weird character interpretation going on in that wank, ohmygod. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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