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queencallipygos ([info]queencallipygos) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2013-03-23 00:14:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:deviantart, fandom: my little pony, lovers on the astral plane

Just In Time For FW's Anniversary!
My friends:

I have just found a wank that arguably combines elements of three of the classic wanks recently featured in the Deathmatch: His Wife, A Horse, the Snapewives, and My Ponies Hate You Now.

Simply put: Deviant Art member Kevinsano specializes in My Little Pony art. However, another Bronie recently wrote him a letter asking him to curtail his more erotic MLP art, particularly art depicting Twilight Sparkle - because, argued this correspodent, he and Twilight Sparkle were engaged.

I'm totally head over heels in love with Twilight Sparkle. I have been for 11 months now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my Twiley.


Actual email reproduced here. MTV coverage here, and the AV club weighs in here.

Enjoy.

Updated: For your convenience, a dramatic reading of the letter, if you prefer podcasts...

Update the Second: The blushing bridegroom's account of his love story on the MLP fandom fora. (I couldn't get the link to the profile to work, so than you for this!) (Update of the update: link now goes to a Googlecache as the forum link proper stopped working.)


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]agrias
2013-03-24 06:22 am UTC (link)
Oh my god it's real and they are legion.

As I described in my post, the fact that I regard Rarity as being the completely real and genuine pony from the show, anyone else who claims to be with her is either deluding themselves or with an imposter. It is mean to think in such a way, especially considering she is a trademarked cartoon character watched by millions around the world some of whom, like me, have a very strong attraction to her. My devotion to her is intense and inspires me to proclaim our love loudly so that all may hear, which has in turn brought about the accusations that I am obnoxious or even in a few cases that she "wouldn't want anything to do" with me; I find the latter ridiculous, especially when it comes from one who aggressively ships his own OC self-insert with her.

I cannot merely settle with having a Rarity that is only "distinct" for to do so implies that there are other Raritys, which would mean acknowledging that mine is a phantom or tulpa (I've received that label from detractors as well) or delusion just like theirs, for what proof would I have that mine is any more real or genuine than my sworn testimonial? They could just as easily claim the same thing and write their stories or draw their arts to back it up.

The very fact that I believe, nay know for a fact, all of this will instantly make me a target of contempt from other Rarity lovers, so why should I go out of my way to appease them? I don't want to think of what they would do to her, it makes me angry and depressed; I am aware of how silly this is considering we have known each other for almost two years, fell in love in November 2011, and been in a serious and monogamous relationship since May 2012. Why should I let this bother me, I ask myself? Perhaps because when surrounded by the many creative fanworks of other bronies, I feel inadequate and even a bit threatened, so I make up for it by being vocal. Soon though, I will be commissioning arts of my own, portraits of us to go along with the plushies I already have; my collection will be impressive and I will build a shrine to her in the most serene spot of my house.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tez
2013-03-24 06:53 am UTC (link)
Am I the only one who twitches every time they see 'imposter' spelled with an 'e'?

Also what is the most serene spot in his house? In my house it's the bathroom.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]agrias
2013-03-24 07:10 am UTC (link)
I CAN'T STOP READING, SEND HELP AND POSSIBLY A MELON-BALLER WITH WHICH I MIGHT REMOVE MY EYES

Myself and Rainbow has been growing more intimate lately. We always had lots of sex, but not until recently I began to feel like we understand one another. I had a sense of understanding Dashie for a long time, but I never undrstood what she saw in me, or humans in general. However, I am starting to understand, she simply likes me for being unlike any stallion she has ever met, it is that piece of darkness in my soul, so alien to the pony mind. You can say it is a form of pity, she simply seems to have a desire to see me abandon my despair and gain some sort of happiness from my existence. I see a light in her soul no human has, a trait so very pony, it may be hard for some people to believe, but Rainbow is very compassionate I love her for that. We both desire something different from what the norm of our species are.

I recently met with her parents (mentally of course), turns out they have no problem with our relationship. Ponies are so understanding. Of course the fact that I praised them for raising such a wonderful creature such as Rainbow may have helped.


The ponies are attracted to those that bartend in the dark.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]worstangel
2013-03-24 08:47 am UTC (link)
The DAAAAHKNESSSSS.

I'm sort of focusing on the phrase "so very pony" - and that it describes compassion. In my experience, every pony I had as a kid was a bitter, spiteful thing who'd rather bite you than take the carrot.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]the_sun_is_up
2013-03-25 10:18 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, this guy has obviously never met a real horse. Which is probably a good thing, for the horses' sakes.

Plus, horses: they like to bite anything vaguely carrot-looking. Including dicks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ekaterinv
2013-03-24 09:10 am UTC (link)
Myself and Rainbow has been growing more intimate lately.

GAH. The grammar!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]agrias, 2013-03-24 09:21 am UTC

[info]puipui
2013-03-25 01:27 am UTC (link)
So I guess that bronies don't get the lesbian vibe off of Rainbow Dash that I do, then?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2013-03-25 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvyola, 2013-03-25 04:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 10:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2013-03-26 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-26 10:10 pm UTC

[info]alya1989262
2013-03-25 04:40 pm UTC (link)
"Ponies are so understanding."

This is perfect. Thank you. *weeps*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 10:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2013-05-19 12:43 am UTC

[info]the_sun_is_up
2013-03-25 10:09 pm UTC (link)
We always had lots of sex, but not until recently I began to feel like we understand one another

You know, this makes for a really interesting psychological study, because "Rainbow" here is just a creation of this guy's imagination — in short, she is him. He's in a relationship with himself. So, "I always fapped a lot, but not until recently I began to feel like I understand myself."

I wish I was a psych major just so I could write a paper about this.

Also love all the obvious wish fulfillment going on here. "She loves me for myself! She loves me because I'm weird (and demented and smelly and socially inept)! She desperately wants me to be happy! She's compassionate and selfless and definitely doesn't have any problems or damage or needs of her own. And her parents think I'm awesome! Why it's almost like she's too good to be true!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2013-03-26 03:55 am UTC (link)
Annnnnnnnd this thread made me burn my cookies. Balls.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2013-03-26 04:00 pm UTC

[info]cinnamonical
2013-03-24 08:26 am UTC (link)
no no no this has to be some sort of elaborate coordinated prank

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]agrias
2013-03-24 08:30 am UTC (link)
They definitely posted pictures of themselves out with their pony toys at a restaurant on a "double date".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]varethane, 2013-03-24 09:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agrias, 2013-03-24 09:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2013-03-24 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ueuecoyotl, 2013-03-24 10:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2013-03-24 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ueuecoyotl, 2013-03-24 08:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bigbigtruck, 2013-03-26 04:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]varethane, 2013-03-24 10:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2013-03-24 07:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2013-03-24 04:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]leto, 2013-03-24 06:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]starlady42, 2013-03-24 06:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thoms, 2013-03-24 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kita0610, 2013-03-25 04:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2013-03-25 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2013-03-25 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2013-03-25 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kita0610, 2013-03-26 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2013-03-29 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 10:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kita0610, 2013-03-26 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2013-03-25 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2013-03-26 04:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2013-03-27 02:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taterbird, 2013-03-25 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2013-03-25 11:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2013-05-19 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_sun_is_up, 2013-03-25 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2013-03-26 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2013-03-26 09:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moongazingfae, 2013-03-27 11:41 am UTC

[info]mcity
2013-03-24 05:14 pm UTC (link)
I made a comment and scrolled up, so I just saw this thread with excerpts and no context.

And yet, my eyes automatically tried to skip it.

It's like they knew.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]worstangel
2013-03-24 05:53 pm UTC (link)
(oh my god I still have this icon)

"Don't be stupid. MY Rarity's obviously the only Rarity. Any other Rarities would make her obviously not a Rarity. I mean, come on, that's basic logic."

/Sheldon Cooper

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]soc_puppet
2013-03-24 06:08 pm UTC (link)
Soon though, I will be commissioning arts of my own,

I for one am perfectly willing to take advantage of er, offer my services to this brave soul and his lovely fiance[sic].

("Artistic integrity" has no place in the vocabulary of the incredibly broke. Unless they prefer to stay that way.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]visp
2013-04-09 01:01 am UTC (link)
Hey, we all gotta make rent. Although all the vodka you'll be drinking to dull the stinging shame of what you've done might just set you back a bit.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]soc_puppet, 2013-04-09 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2013-04-09 07:34 am UTC

[info]cal
2013-03-24 08:33 pm UTC (link)
Man, the Rarity guy is eleventy billion times more terrifying than the Twilight guy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]coffee_mug
2013-03-25 02:41 pm UTC (link)
I don't know, they're both fantastically out there as individuals, but considering the Rarity guy has projected himself into Equestria and regularly argues with Rarity, he may be a slightly more ..interesting case.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]agrias, 2013-03-26 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2013-03-26 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agrias, 2013-03-26 08:55 am UTC

[info]cleolinda
2013-03-24 08:37 pm UTC (link)
the accusations that I am obnoxious or even in a few cases that she "wouldn't want anything to do" with me

Yes, those are the two biggest problems here.

Jesus take the reins.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]starlady42
2013-03-25 01:42 am UTC (link)
Jesus take the reins

Oh, you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]nightwithmoon
2013-03-25 03:16 am UTC (link)
Jesus take the reins.

*snork* Somehow, that helps to heal the mental trauma a little bit.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]the_sun_is_up
2013-03-25 09:30 pm UTC (link)
Jesus take the reins.

Because of the nature of this wank, my brain instantly turned that into innuendo. D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]major_dallas
2013-03-27 03:06 pm UTC (link)
and now, we need an icon for this: "Jesus take the reins"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shinysandals, 2013-03-27 05:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]major_dallas, 2013-03-27 06:16 pm UTC

[info]msmanna
2013-03-24 09:09 pm UTC (link)
BRB, busy constructing an alternate reality in which all this is some kind of elaborate internet performance art.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]librarianmouse
2013-03-27 08:29 am UTC (link)
I...but...what...he...

*BRAINSPLODEY*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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