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Sailor Lum (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} sailorlum) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank, |
Well, I agree that no relationship is kerfluffle free, nor free of challenging times, but not everyone needs relationship counseling to save the relationship/has stuff going *that* wrong that they can't fix it themselves without counseling (I'm talking formal relationship counseling, with a pro or dedicated volunteer, and not counting support from friends and family - I assume JKR is referring to formal counseling). Having said that, I think that a couple who spots they have a need for counseling (or errs on the side of caution) and goes to counseling and does their best to work it, likely still has a great relationship (certainly if they are successful at getting through the challenge, they are possessing of a great relationship). Going to relationship counseling before the problem has reached critical mass (before the relationship is on the rocks) can definitely be a sign of a great relationship, IMO.
And when I was talking of ideal (I don't know about JKR), I wasn't referring to whether they were a great couple or not, just to the trouble they'd have to go through. Tbh, the part of me that wants an easier time of things, wishes for 'no need for relationship counseling, ever'. I recognize the value of character growth through challenge/suffering, but sometimes, I feel like I'd just like to take it easy and skip the character growth. I guess this isn't really ideal, though, so strike my statement in the comment above about what is ideal.
Having said that, IA with " The idea that needing relationship counseling = not having a great relationship is an incorrect and harmful idea". I hope JKR isn't saying that.
And having said that, sometimes needing relationship counseling is not a good sign for the future of the relationship (whether it started out great, or not). Like, if it's needed, and one or both partners refuse to go/work it, or if it's not available to them (very bad luck, there), or if they've waited until the relationship has gotten really toxic (harder to recover from that). There don't seem to be any therapists in the Wizarding World (unless you wind up in the mental health ward at St. Mungo's), so I'm hoping that JKR's reasoning is: that Ron and Hermione would need counseling, but wouldn't be able to find it, yet they worked out in canon without it, which is against the odds, which she now finds implausible, given the lack of therapy in the wizarding world. If it's true that she takes it beyond that recognition to regret, then I'd find that to be a bit goofy, IMO, since all kinds of implausible things happen in the HP series, anyway. Why draw the line at shipping?
And implausible doesn't equal impossible, and I saw enough going in the right direction to make it credible/believable that R/Hr worked out/ultimately had a great relationship, IMO (I wasn't going WTF, at the end), so I think she's being a bit hard on her writing (or she's decided that she now can't think of a way to make it credible to herself, which would be overly pessimistic, IMO - people do beat hard odds in real life, sometimes, after all).
And when I was talking of ideal (I don't know about JKR), I wasn't referring to whether they were a great couple or not, just to the trouble they'd have to go through. Tbh, the part of me that wants an easier time of things, wishes for 'no need for relationship counseling, ever'. I recognize the value of character growth through challenge/suffering, but sometimes, I feel like I'd just like to take it easy and skip the character growth. I guess this isn't really ideal, though, so strike my statement in the comment above about what is ideal.
Having said that, IA with " The idea that needing relationship counseling = not having a great relationship is an incorrect and harmful idea". I hope JKR isn't saying that.
And having said that, sometimes needing relationship counseling is not a good sign for the future of the relationship (whether it started out great, or not). Like, if it's needed, and one or both partners refuse to go/work it, or if it's not available to them (very bad luck, there), or if they've waited until the relationship has gotten really toxic (harder to recover from that). There don't seem to be any therapists in the Wizarding World (unless you wind up in the mental health ward at St. Mungo's), so I'm hoping that JKR's reasoning is: that Ron and Hermione would need counseling, but wouldn't be able to find it, yet they worked out in canon without it, which is against the odds, which she now finds implausible, given the lack of therapy in the wizarding world. If it's true that she takes it beyond that recognition to regret, then I'd find that to be a bit goofy, IMO, since all kinds of implausible things happen in the HP series, anyway. Why draw the line at shipping?
And implausible doesn't equal impossible, and I saw enough going in the right direction to make it credible/believable that R/Hr worked out/ultimately had a great relationship, IMO (I wasn't going WTF, at the end), so I think she's being a bit hard on her writing (or she's decided that she now can't think of a way to make it credible to herself, which would be overly pessimistic, IMO - people do beat hard odds in real life, sometimes, after all).
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