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Virago, The Long-Winded Plebe ([info]virago) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-08-20 19:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:stressed

Wank among fans...about... well, not wanking.
This isn't exactly fandom, but I found it freaking hilarious in how pissed off people will get about something so stupid. It's from the off-topic area of an anime-related board.

(Utterly NSFW, all text though)

Mr. 'Dr. Drew says they don't stretch' vs. 'Now what happens if every single time you masturbate, you have to stick your whole fucking fist in there. IT'S GOING TO STRETCH OUT, YOU FUCKING MORON.'

...the latter of which may be my favorite quote from the whole thing.

The original post is a parody of an earlier post about whether size really matters. It quickly derails into a debate among guys who apparently know little about female anatomy but are REALLY eager to shout each other down about what they do think they know. And the less they know, the more angry they get.

The main players are Freako and Jace "I've watched girls fist each other" Tsunami.

And probably the most on-target of all:
"considering like 0.2% of the active members here have even seen a 3D pussy.. "

It derails after page 3, but that's where the highlights are anyway.

Oy. Okay, it probably is stupid, but it had me cackling like a madman. Hooray for anime-fan stereotypes.



(Post a new comment)


[info]sorchar
2003-08-21 02:38 am UTC (link)
Good Lord. There's nothing more pathetic than watching a bunch of hopelessly virgin geeks debating sexual matters.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rikoshi
2003-08-21 06:19 am UTC (link)
What about Richard Simmons?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]sorchar
2003-08-21 08:19 am UTC (link)
I think he's asexual.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]redpanda
2003-08-21 02:39 am UTC (link)
http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank perhaps? I mean, it fits here because it's anime fans, but...you seemed unsure, so there's an option. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]virago
2003-08-21 03:42 am UTC (link)
Ah, true. It seemed a little too frivolous for otf_wank (which I thought was more for philosophical wankery and such), but that's a good point.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rikoshi
2003-08-21 03:49 am UTC (link)
Nah, I agree with it being here in F_W. Just because the views expressed herein and hereout are perhaps fairly universal doesn't deny the typical otaku-esque fandomness of the specific wankery.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sorchar
2003-08-21 04:30 am UTC (link)
Nothing's too frivolous for [info]otf_wank, but this one can go either way. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rikoshi, 2003-08-21 05:12 am UTC

[info]rogue
2003-08-21 02:41 am UTC (link)
Well, yes I - what?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

ICON!
[info]ash
2003-08-21 03:23 am UTC (link)
Mmmmm.
*licks Norrington*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ICON!
[info]rogue
2003-08-21 03:26 am UTC (link)
Woo hoo, more James fans! You should [shameless self promotion] come join my fanlisting. [/shameless self promotion]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ICON! - [info]ash, 2003-08-21 10:02 am UTC
Re: ICON! - [info]rogue, 2003-08-21 10:08 am UTC
Re: ICON! - [info]msmanna, 2003-08-21 01:15 pm UTC
Re: ICON! - [info]rogue, 2003-08-22 01:31 am UTC
Re: ICON!
[info]bohicamouse
2003-08-21 04:03 am UTC (link)
Speaking of icons, I think yours is the best thing I have ever seen ever. It reminds me of that horrible "Trio of Lust" fic where Legolas is about to fuck Boromir up the ass and says "Roll over, Son of Gondor!"

*ahem*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ICON! - [info]sorchar, 2003-08-21 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bohicamouse, 2003-08-21 04:39 am UTC
Re: - [info]sorchar, 2003-08-21 04:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rikoshi, 2003-08-21 05:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaobell, 2003-08-21 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rikoshi, 2003-08-21 06:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-08-21 05:02 pm UTC
Re: ICON! - [info]ash, 2003-08-21 10:11 am UTC
YOUR ICON!
[info]oxydosic
2003-08-21 03:24 pm UTC (link)
*Makes sweet love to it*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: YOUR ICON! - [info]ash, 2003-08-22 06:20 am UTC

[info]linzee
2003-08-21 03:13 am UTC (link)
I think this is the funniest thing I've heard all week :

My ex was totally like hitting a piece of 6" PVC. I mean lord, you could stick you head in and yoddle just for the great Echo effects. Bears would woul hybernate there in the winter. BEARS!!

Yodeling bears - I wonder if there's an over the counter cream for that...

Linzee

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]lcsbanana
2003-08-21 05:39 am UTC (link)
"yoddle" itself sounds like a bizarre but delightful euphemism for masturbation.

now I have to go hork up a spleen from laughing at the BEARS IN PUSSY imagery.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rikoshi
2003-08-21 06:06 am UTC (link)
now I have to go hork up a spleen from laughing at the BEARS IN PUSSY imagery.

Icon, anyone?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2003-08-21 03:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]linzee, 2003-08-21 07:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogue, 2003-08-22 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-08-21 05:03 pm UTC

[info]hugsnkisses
2003-08-21 06:57 pm UTC (link)
I was just about to quote that. Heh.

It truly is a thing of beauty *admires it*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]rikoshi
2003-08-21 03:33 am UTC (link)
And now, and interlude from those wise sages, the Lords of Acid:

I wanna see your pussy
Everybody says it’s nice
Can I can and come and visit?
I’ll be at your house tonight

They tell me it’s soft to touch and really smooth
I can hardly wait to feel that pussy too
You wanna play with pussy all the time
To hide that kind of pussy is a crime
You say you’re pussy’s clever and so slick
But I think your pussy’s kind of sick

I wanna see your pussy, show it to me
Let me see your pussy, show it to me
Show me your pussy, show it to me
I want to see your pussy, show it to me

I want to bet your pussy ain’t as pretty as mine
I don’t hide my pussy like you do all the time
My pussy’s just the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen
Compared to mine your pussy’s really ugly and mean

I bring my pussy everywhere I go (m-hmm)
To watch my little pussy is a show
You say that your pussy really clever and slick
But I think your pussy’s really thick

I wanna see your pussy, show it to me
Let me see your pussy, show it to me
Show me your pussy, show it to me
I want to see your pussy, show it to me

She turns into a tiger when she’s ready to eat
My pussy’s always hungry for a big chunk of meat
So lay your little pussy right next to mine
You can bring her over around dinner time

My pussy is the hippest thing around (that’s right)
She’s always been the talk of the town
You say your pussy’s clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy’s mighty think (me-ow baby)

I wanna see your pussy, show it to me
Let me see your pussy, show it to me
Show me your pussy, show it to me
I want to see your pussy, show it to me


*bows*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]coyotegirl
2003-08-21 04:16 am UTC (link)
*coughs politely* I happen to be in possession of an AMV set to that song, using La Blue Girl. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dontgiveahoot, 2003-08-21 04:50 am UTC
Re: - [info]coyotegirl, 2003-08-21 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coyotegirl, 2003-08-21 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-11-09 09:12 am UTC

[info]elfy
2003-08-21 04:27 am UTC (link)
</i>Well, as long as it's not a wind tunnel or a vacuum to space/time singularity, it should be all good.</i>

Ahhh... bless nerdy comments...

(Reply to this)


[info]lots42
2003-08-21 04:42 am UTC (link)
If you have to stick your hand in to get off, you're doing it wrrrrooong

(Reply to this)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2003-08-21 06:26 am UTC (link)
Best quote ever, re: would you suck your own dick if you could?

"ummmmmmmm i dont do it and i never will infact it never even came to mind till i read this stupid thred its just sick how can u do that and still call yourself a non gay man"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

*snerk*
[info]nnycap
2003-08-21 06:59 am UTC (link)
To quote Clerks on the same topic: "Listen to you! You're so repressed."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: *snerk* - [info]rikoshi, 2003-08-21 02:11 pm UTC
Re: *snerk* - [info]lillyv, 2003-08-21 08:10 pm UTC
Re: *snerk* - [info]rikoshi, 2003-08-22 03:07 am UTC

[info]virago
2003-08-21 07:09 am UTC (link)
Yeah, that was precious too. NO NEVER CAME TO MIND EVER EVER before not five minutes ago or that time I got really drunk I swear never ever ever before. ever. In fact I'm not thinking about it right now.

Besides, you'll go blind.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rann, 2003-08-22 02:45 pm UTC

[info]oxydosic
2003-08-21 03:38 pm UTC (link)
'Dr. Drew says they don't stretch'

Oh well, Dr. Drew said it so it must be true. I shudder that America's teenagers are getting their sex education from Loveline. I hate that man.

Though i gotta admit, i'm wondering...uh...i've never heard of someone being stretched like the 'Texas tunnel'...i've had 2 kids and i'm definitely not...uh, TMI, sorry. I'm just a little baffled by that, the muscles down there are pretty resilient, unless you're going around with something huge up there constantly things tends to shrink back down eventually.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]virago
2003-08-21 04:13 pm UTC (link)
I actually sided with the lame "Dr. Drew says" guy most of the time. Erm, at least from what I know, having never had kids or anything.

I think those in the thread who actually HAVE seen real girls have probably been doing scared little high-schoolers who don't know what Kegels are. The rest are talking out of their asses.

Muscles, people, muscles. If you yell, your mouth does not stick that way. Your mother was wrong.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zana16, 2003-08-21 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-08-21 07:23 pm UTC
Re: YOU'RE WASTING IT!!! - [info]miome, 2003-08-21 08:53 pm UTC
Re: YOU'RE WASTING IT!!! - [info]sagralisse, 2003-08-22 03:51 am UTC
Re: YOU'RE WASTING IT!!! - [info]iczer6, 2003-08-22 03:56 am UTC
Re: YOU'RE WASTING IT!!! - [info]sagralisse, 2003-08-22 04:40 am UTC
Re: YOU'RE WASTING IT!!! - [info]virago, 2003-08-22 06:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coyotegirl, 2003-08-22 08:23 pm UTC

 
   
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