Civil wank makes civil hands unclean
Meet metamorphmagi. Metamorphmagi has a deep-seated, almost pathological desire to be friended.

See metamorphmagi, prompted by the results of the 50 closest non-friends generator, post an "analyzation post" beginning "I also got iscaris, vanityfair, epicyclical, ivyblossom, and mistful, but all five of them friend only their closest. I always had this wierd feeling that they think they are better than everyone else because they've written classics. And it's not like they don't have a reason to, but still!"

See her friend, al_riddle pimp the entry far and wide.

Observe as people trickle by and comment, including two out of the five BNFs (but not enough to have a quorum). Amazingly, everyone is unfailingly polite as metamorphmagi wanks on...

Edited to add: if you enjoyed this wank, you might also be interested in "Classic writers reevaluated", "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go eat worms" and "An open letter to everyone who commented on the Entry O' DOOM".