"Curtain up! Light the lights! Wank it, boys!"
The Bernadette Peters Message Forums are usually a place of sunshine and Santa Claus (in an entirely harmless and fluffy way), complete with generous exclamation point usage, and more avatars of the redheaded diva than you could shake a bowl of Chow Mein at. However, there is trouble in Peters paradise when someone suggests a scrapbook of her turn in Gypsy be created.

It spawns seven pages of squabble, which quickly turn from discussion over the design of the scrapbook, to musings on the ethics of giving the message board URL to the star along with the scrapbook. When speculations start flying over Peters's reaction to threads of a "questionable nature" (e.g. her dress size, salary, former flings), the user Bwaybaby, also apparently supposed to be personable with Peters in real life, points out that no one can determine Peters's reaction but Peters herself.

Some find this to be self-back-patting, especially Jenny_loves_Bernadette. One of the more satisfying, and unaltered, nuggets from Jenny: "I looked at this thrad expecting to have seen some very long winded reply from you - you did not disappoint. I guess i don't agree with you about anything but I really am irratating by the inflated self-importance that seems to taint your messages."

I guess she really is "irratating," because her misspelled snit sends Bwaybaby off the boards, in one of those infamously angsty fandom "exits."

As a grand finale, the web site administrator, Kevin, posts one last thread clearing things up. Or at least informs everyone that the weather is really, really great in Jersey.

Is this the part where I ask for mercy on my first wank? *cough*