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M Dozer ([info]dozer) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-09-06 19:43:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Rookie here, First Wank
I've been involved with the lotr fandom for awhile now. One fanfic writer was making a pretty big splash on the lists I joined, so I went to read her stuff. It was okay, nothing spectacular. However, she had quite a following. (Some of her fans claim she was the *first* person to EVER put actors in fanfic, you know, write RP stuff about them) ..um...okay...

A few months in and she announces that she's tired of it all and she's LEAVING. All fanfic archives will immediately remove ALL of her stories. NOW. She's leaving. (Inside scoop was that she either worked for or was Craig Parker, who played Haldir in the movies. She actually loved it that people thought that and let it get tossed around, until it just became...'too much')

About a month ago, this pops up.

http://www.geocities.com/snarquis/
http://www.geocities.com/snarquis/FAQ.html

She's back online, has her site up and running. I mean, it's called Casa del Snarqe. I'm thinking...'wanker' even before I read her FAQ.

Casa del Snarque FAQ

Q ~ Are you mad?
A ~ As a hatter, yes, absolutely.

Q ~ Are you really Craig Parker?
A ~ Next question.

Q ~ Why aren't you in any lists or groups any more?
A ~ I get claustrophobic in crowds.

Q ~ Why are there no warnings etc on each fic?
A ~ There is one General Warning and Disclaimer reachable from the main page. Anyone who bypasses or ignores this deserves all they get.

Q ~ Why isn't your author-name on any of the fics?
A ~ Most people know who wrote them.

Q ~ There's no e-mail address. How can I reach you?
A ~ There's a Guestbook. That'll do.

Q ~ Why so little sex in your fics?
A ~ Plenty of sex already out there, but not enough humour or other non-sexual interaction.

Q ~ Do you enjoy pissing people off?
A ~ Occasionally. Not always.

Q ~ Do you use a beta?
A ~ I have someone who's better than a beta, more like a muse, who bravely stays in the cage long after the others have fled, and who feeds and breeds my bunnies better than I can. Thank you, Meg. :o)

Q ~ When are you going to finish the next chapter of...?
A ~ If I ever see that written in the Guestbook, the site will be closed for a week. If I see it a second time, the site will be closed for a month. If anyone e-mails me with the same question, the site will be closed.


Q ~ What are you writing currently or next?
A ~ The 'Updates' link on the main page will tell you all you need to know..

Q ~ Why are you so secretive?
A ~ I'm a Scorpio. It goes with the territory.

Q ~ Do you like feedback?
A ~ Occasionally. Not always. My beta-muse usually tells me if something works or not.

Q ~ Why do you write slash?
A ~ It's good practice for the real stuff later on.

Q ~ Where do you get your ideas from?
A ~ My perverse bunch of Muses. Some days, they go berserk with their farting-cushions and we have humour fics. Other days they raid the bar, and their hangovers produce drama and angst.

Q ~ Why do you write mainly about Craig Parker?
A ~ Because he's a Scorpio and I've always 'known' him to a certain degree. Because his Yang is lovely, and he hides his Yin better than some of us.

Q ~ How long will you keep writing slash?
A ~ Until I've irrevocably squicked myself into stopping. The day is not that far away.

Q ~ How long will you keep writing anything?
A ~ Forever.

Q ~ Are you going to the Best of Both Worlds Convention in Canberra in September?
A ~ Yes.


Okay, so is threatening to close your site because people ask you about a story worth a wank???




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(Post a new comment)


[info]iris
2003-09-07 04:50 am UTC (link)
Let's all go ask when the next chapter is coming out!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dozer, 2003-09-07 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-09-07 11:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 06:36 pm UTC

[info]iczer6
2003-09-07 04:58 am UTC (link)
How DARE those fans be interested in the next chapters of her fic! Really where do they get off anyhow?

Must....resist...urge...to...troll.


Icz

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dontgiveahoot, 2003-09-07 07:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arabel, 2003-09-08 01:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dontgiveahoot, 2003-09-08 02:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arabel, 2003-09-08 03:52 pm UTC

[info]calluna
2003-09-07 05:15 am UTC (link)
I have someone who's better than a beta, more like a muse, who bravely stays in the cage long after the others have fled, and who feeds and breeds my bunnies better than I can.

Urge to kill rising...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2003-09-07 11:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2003-09-08 09:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2003-09-09 02:23 am UTC

[info]diamonde
2003-09-07 05:22 am UTC (link)
Okay, this is true grade-A classic wank. There's the huffing off, the self-importance, the pretentious language... *basks in the afterglow* Oh, yeah. Spooge is hitting the ceiling here.

All it needs is a Hitler reference.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2003-09-07 07:35 pm UTC

[info]pet
2003-09-07 05:46 am UTC (link)
Wow. That might be in my list of the top ten wankiest things ever. Between the threatened site closure (no, not that! anything but that! do not deprive us of your lifegiving light, oh great one!), the random references to astrological signs, the implication that fanfiction isn't real writing, the vast and unjustified superiority complex, the coy not-answer to the celebrity identity question...use of the term 'beta-muse'...

This girl deserves a smack. Lordy. I almost feel bad for her 'fans,' if she feels comfortable jerking people around like this.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dozer, 2003-09-07 05:53 am UTC

[info]gairid
2003-09-07 06:05 am UTC (link)
Wankity wank WANK! Wow. Can this girl be ANY more full of herself? And in perusing some of her work I can't even say *why* anyone would care if she wrote more or not. Nothing worng with t, but heck...nothing that amazing about it, either.


"Q ~ When are you going to finish the next chapter of...?
A ~ If I ever see that written in the Guestbook, the site will be closed for a week. If I see it a second time, the site will be closed for a month. If anyone e-mails me with the same question, the site will be closed."

What the fuck EVER.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-07 06:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mythdefied, 2003-09-07 06:58 am UTC
Re: - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-07 06:59 am UTC
I am a bad, bad person - [info]zorrorojo, 2003-09-07 07:12 am UTC
Re: I am a bad, bad person - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-07 07:14 am UTC
Re: I am a bad, bad person - [info]zorrorojo, 2003-09-07 07:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2003-09-07 01:08 pm UTC

[info]limyaael
2003-09-07 06:16 am UTC (link)
hand to forehead*

How can people like her work? How can they ask her questions? How can she take the pressure? How can...

Okay, enough of that. I'm making myself sick.

Although I have to admit that when I saw this:

Q: Why do you write slash?
A: It's good practice for the real stuff later on.

my first thought wasn't that she was talking about "real writing," but that she was talking about wanting to perfect fictional sex before she tries the real thing. *snicker*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ruaki, 2003-09-07 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2003-09-07 08:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2003-09-07 09:16 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-09-09 12:10 am UTC
Re: - [info]fandom_bitch, 2003-09-15 05:37 am UTC

[info]jar
2003-09-07 06:42 am UTC (link)
OMG itz a conspiramasy! Craig Parker is going 2 be a BOBW in Canberra! ::GASP::! She muzt be him!!!!11

(Reply to this)


[info]sorchar
2003-09-07 06:45 am UTC (link)
I've got a few new ones:

Q. What's with the trying to make people think you're Craig Parker?

Q. Why are you so insufferably arrogant?

Q: Do you, in fact, have to have your hats specially made to fit your freakishly enlarged head?

Q: When are you going to finish the next chapter of...?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2003-09-07 07:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2003-09-07 07:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2003-09-08 04:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zillahcross, 2003-09-07 06:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowan, 2003-09-07 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-07 11:33 pm UTC

[info]mythdefied
2003-09-07 06:52 am UTC (link)
Oh, please forgive us humble readers for daring to bother you with our insignificant questions about your next chapters and fic. We truly had no idea that Your Highness is so offended by such everyday questions that every other normal fanfic writer receives with good grace. Of course we commoners shall endeavor to nevermore inflict our inane queries upon your most Divine Personage. But, um, when're you gonna post the next chapter of....

Puh-lease.

(Reply to this)


[info]lulinda
2003-09-07 07:05 am UTC (link)
Eek!

I don't care if she thinks me the biggest plebe in the world but I love her fics and she can be as arrogant as she wants.

Dun care!

Her stuff is faboo.

I'll stand on my head if she wants me too.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-09-07 07:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lulinda, 2003-09-07 09:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-09-08 04:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lulinda, 2003-09-08 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2003-09-07 01:12 pm UTC
O_O - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-07 11:34 pm UTC
Re: O_O - [info]lulinda, 2003-09-08 12:31 am UTC
Re: O_O - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-08 12:48 am UTC
Re: O_O - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-08 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-08 07:32 am UTC
GAH! I just read her journal here...
[info]dozer
2003-09-07 07:09 am UTC (link)
And DO NOT ADD her as a friend...

"I get really irritated when people add my name/journal to their 'friends' list without having the courtesy to find out if I want to be on it.

This isn't LJ & the "see who can get to a squillion friends first" contest. I thought manners might be the go here at JF.

My 'friends' list should be identical to my 'friend of' list. If it isn't, will the odd person out please fix it?

Arrogant? Absolutely?"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]harukami, 2003-09-07 07:16 am UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]picot, 2003-09-07 08:37 am UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]delfeus, 2003-09-07 01:14 pm UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]pradaloz, 2003-09-07 05:00 pm UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 07:21 am UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 09:40 am UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - darthhellokitty, 2003-09-07 10:17 am UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 03:10 pm UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]limyaael, 2003-09-07 05:00 pm UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-08 12:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]machiavellian, 2003-09-08 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-08 07:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]machiavellian, 2003-09-08 07:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mydarkstar, 2003-09-08 10:26 am UTC
Re: - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-08 11:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]machiavellian, 2003-09-08 11:22 am UTC
Re: - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-08 11:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mauralabingi, 2003-09-08 07:10 pm UTC
Re: GAH! I just read her journal here... - [info]zarla, 2003-09-08 05:36 am UTC
Snarl!
[info]zorrorojo
2003-09-07 07:23 am UTC (link)
Bitch stole my name! bitch stole my name!!!!!!

I don't care if she tried to gussie it all up in a furin language!

Uhm... OK, so you'd have to know my other journals

http://livejournal.com/users/houseofsnark

That's ZorroRojo's House of Snark to you Plebes!

Bitch stole my name! Plager... Play... plageriest Plagiarist!

Someone call the fanfic pooollllliiicceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Snarl! - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-07 07:31 am UTC
Re: Snarl! - [info]zorrorojo, 2003-09-07 07:38 am UTC
Re: Snarl! - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 06:44 pm UTC
Re: Snarl! - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 03:11 pm UTC
Re: Snarl! - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-07 11:36 pm UTC
Re: Snarl! - [info]nevadafighter, 2003-09-08 10:12 am UTC
Re: Snarl! - [info]nevadafighter, 2003-09-08 10:25 am UTC

[info]phosfate
2003-09-07 07:31 am UTC (link)
Her journal is like getting slapped with a marzipan fish.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-09-07 12:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-09-08 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-09-08 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mauralabingi, 2003-09-07 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-09-07 07:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cimorene111, 2003-09-07 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-07 11:38 pm UTC
Re: - [info]cimorene111, 2003-09-08 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-09-08 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eyebrowofdoom, 2003-09-08 04:19 am UTC
Re: - [info]cimorene111, 2003-09-08 08:08 am UTC

[info]redpanda
2003-09-07 08:00 am UTC (link)
Deer Miz Snarq,
OMG leik wen R U gunna 2 rite anuthr chappie of C.U.S.P.!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!
Ta, K.

And I can't post that to her journal, either. *WEEPS* Where IS her much-vaunted guestbook? I wanna shut her down! *G*

(Reply to this)


[info]dawnswalker
2003-09-07 08:21 am UTC (link)
Lord... someone hand this girl a ladder so she can climb down off that high horse of hers. The altitude is obviously starting to affect her brain.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vengeance_bean, 2003-09-07 10:49 am UTC

[info]mariagoner
2003-09-07 08:23 am UTC (link)
God, is it terrible of me to want her to pop up in fandom wank like an evil jack in the box, and start viciously knifing us all? God, I'd kill to see that confrontation.

C'mon, "Craig Parker!" We've even got anonymous commenting enabled and all!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2003-09-07 01:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 06:56 pm UTC

[info]fandom_bitch
2003-09-07 09:07 am UTC (link)
What. An. Arrogant. t00b.

I'm so tempted to friend her...just to bug her arse about it.

Nah, that'll only make her feel validated or something.

(Reply to this)


[info]rann
2003-09-07 09:15 am UTC (link)
If I can find her email, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her. Because, yes, I am that immature.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rann, 2003-09-07 09:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2003-09-07 10:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-09-07 12:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2003-09-07 01:36 pm UTC
Re: - [info]rann, 2003-09-07 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2003-09-08 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2003-09-07 04:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 05:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2003-09-07 08:03 pm UTC
Re: - [info]rann, 2003-09-07 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2003-09-08 12:51 am UTC
Re: - [info]rann, 2003-09-08 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2003-09-08 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 06:46 pm UTC
Re: - [info]rann, 2003-09-07 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 09:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - allen, 2003-09-07 10:44 pm UTC
Re: - [info]rann, 2003-09-07 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - allen, 2003-09-08 06:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amasaglajax, 2003-09-07 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - allen, 2003-09-08 06:16 am UTC

[info]guinevere33
2003-09-07 10:22 am UTC (link)
Yea verily, she has been friended. I wonder what she'll do to me...

(Reply to this)

Hey Guys
[info]sajasma
2003-09-07 10:51 am UTC (link)
Arrogant or not, please, don't start trolling her site or her journal. That kind of behavior is wanky in and of itself.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Hey Guys - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2003-09-07 11:54 am UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]gairid, 2003-09-07 03:08 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]gairid, 2003-09-07 03:10 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]texta, 2003-09-07 06:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]machiavellian, 2003-09-08 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]texta, 2003-09-08 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]machiavellian, 2003-09-08 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2003-09-08 08:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2003-09-08 01:36 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-07 06:49 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]singe, 2003-09-07 11:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cesare, 2003-09-07 12:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-07 06:53 pm UTC
why indeed? - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 08:49 pm UTC
trolling is lame - [info]cesare, 2003-09-08 03:09 am UTC
Re: trolling is lame - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-08 03:33 am UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]redpanda, 2003-09-07 12:03 pm UTC
Gaaah! - [info]lukita, 2003-09-07 12:52 pm UTC
Re: Gaaah! - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2003-09-07 04:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mauralabingi, 2003-09-07 06:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-07 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mauralabingi, 2003-09-08 06:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quinctia, 2003-09-09 03:56 am UTC
Re: Gaaah! - [info]parlance, 2003-09-07 06:49 pm UTC
Re: Gaaah! - [info]redpanda, 2003-09-07 08:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ipomoea, 2003-09-07 01:02 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]rikoshi, 2003-09-07 03:24 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-07 06:55 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]snacky, 2003-09-07 06:14 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]sajasma, 2003-09-07 06:55 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]phosfate, 2003-09-07 08:01 pm UTC
Re: Hey Guys - [info]sorchar, 2003-09-08 07:39 am UTC

[info]rikoshi
2003-09-07 03:15 pm UTC (link)
OW! OW! SHIT! My eyes! Someone just ejaculated all over my face and it stings something awful!

Words fail the fuck out of me just in reading that FAQ. "I don't need feedback. I have my FRIENDS to stroke my ego if I ever stop doing it myself for more than three seconds. And if you show any actual interest in my writing, I'm going to not write."

Someone please get the cock out of my face so I can think here. Am I wrong in wondering just why the ever-living fuck she even has a website in the first place, since she obviously

a) hates fans
b) hates feedback, and
c) doesn't care what anyone thinks about her own fics but her?

*insert repeated HEADDESK-ing here*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2003-09-07 05:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]psychofangirl, 2003-09-07 11:37 pm UTC
Also...
[info]rikoshi
2003-09-07 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Q ~ Why isn't your author-name on any of the fics?
A ~ Most people know who wrote them.


Am I reading this right? Is she suggesting that she doesn't need to append her name to her work because it should already be so well-known on sight?

Shit. Pass me another cum-rag, because my face just got splortched again.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Also... - [info]gairid, 2003-09-07 03:46 pm UTC
Re: Also... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-07 03:50 pm UTC
Re: Also... - [info]shoiryu, 2003-09-07 10:56 pm UTC
Re: Also... - (Anonymous), 2003-09-08 06:45 am UTC
Re: Also... - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-09-08 01:36 am UTC
Re: Also... - [info]virago, 2003-09-09 07:44 am UTC

[info]elfy
2003-09-07 05:50 pm UTC (link)
I notice her "Friends Of" list has been hidden on her journal...

(Reply to this)


[info]mauralabingi
2003-09-07 06:31 pm UTC (link)
The best part is that after all of this posturing, the fic turns out to be eye-bleedingly bad. The dialogue alone makes that Unicorn Jelly woman look like Henry James.

Elves who say "'Tis"? "Whore of Lothlorien"? (Oh, excuse me, we haven't fixed our special characters. That'd be "Whore of L?thlor?en.") And on the strength of this crap, she considers herself God's gift to the source material. Bitch, please.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2003-09-07 09:42 pm UTC


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