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ErinMiran ([info]erinmiran) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-09-24 21:12:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:annoyed

Artemis Fowl wankage.
Hi, obligatory "I'm new" line.
Moving along.

This charming (though a few days old) piece is found on the Artemis Fowl IMDB messageboards, where some girl states that she thinks DJ Qualls would be a good Artemis Fowl. Yanno, despite the fact that Artemis is a nine year old Irish boy, and DJ Qualls is a 26 year old American. Then a GoOfYsRiDe777 not only starts trashingthe girl's opinion, but brings in the fact that her mother said he would make a good Artemis, but *gaspshock* she said before that her mother was dead! GoOfYsRiDe777 then also asks everyone to "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REPLY IN CAPS [IF YOU WANT] AND WITH GUSTO TO GET THE POINT ACROSS TO THIS BANANA GIRL WHO'S MOTHER DIED WHILE SHE WAS TELLING HER THAT DJ QUALLS WOULD BE A GOOD CHOICE!"
X_X

The girl replies back that "SHE IS DEAD!! I HAVE A STEP MOM! STUPID IDIOT! I'M STILL GRIEVING ABOUT MY MOTHER!!!!! I HATE YOU!!! :'(" and it all degenerates from there.

I don't think I can adequately explain the rest, as I've blocked it from my memory for the therapist to drag out of me in the future. Though I can say, despite (or rather, because of) the "OMG GO DIE"s, it's still rather amusing.


(Post a new comment)


[info]seda
2003-09-25 04:32 am UTC (link)
This is just. I can't stop laughing. It's almost painful. It is painful... :-?

(Reply to this)


[info]chash
2003-09-25 04:41 am UTC (link)
Is that Zack from Saved by the Bell? If so, I think I love you.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]erinmiran
2003-09-25 04:44 am UTC (link)
IT IS :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chash, 2003-09-25 04:55 am UTC
Re: - [info]erinmiran, 2003-09-25 05:00 am UTC

[info]iczer6
2003-09-25 04:47 am UTC (link)
Dude...

I mean...

It's just...

I don't know where to start... The bickering, the throwing out personal issues that have nothing to do with the topic at hand, the reccomending a 25 year old to play a child's role, I mean this isn't wank. This is what wank wants to be when it grows up. This is SUPER-Wank, the Wonder Wank Twins, you get the idea.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]starherd
2003-09-25 07:03 am UTC (link)
*glomps icon*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]miome
2003-09-25 04:52 am UTC (link)
I especially love the mental magician that says 'wow! your dad must have gotten married again less than a month after your mother died!' Uh, no, honey, we have this little thing called divorce, maybe you've heard of it?

(Reply to this)


[info]pet
2003-09-25 05:31 am UTC (link)
You know, I thought you were paraphrasing those quotes above. It was really quite something to discover that you weren't.

*BOGGLES*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]starkeymonster
2003-09-25 07:08 pm UTC (link)
You know, I thought you were paraphrasing those quotes above. It was really quite something to discover that you weren't.

*BOGGLES*

If that text is verbatim, I'm too scared to read the actual wank.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2003-09-25 05:34 am UTC (link)
"...memory for the therapist to drag out of me..."

Somehow, I read the above portion of the sentance as "...memory for the rapist to drag out of me..." and I'm not really sure why. Then again, maybe the little voices in my head are screeching 'THERAPY IS EVIL' in order to continue existing.

Alright, now I know I need to up my medication. X.x;

~J.D.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


allen
2003-09-25 05:36 am UTC (link)
Oi, now I'm having flashbacks to the Celebrity Jeopardy skits on SNL...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dawnswalker, 2003-09-25 07:24 am UTC
(no subject) - allen, 2003-09-25 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2003-09-25 03:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yadda, 2003-09-25 05:37 pm UTC
Re: - [info]erinmiran, 2003-09-25 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricchick, 2003-09-26 03:22 am UTC

[info]coyotegirl
2003-09-25 05:39 am UTC (link)
I like the bit in which magneticbanana stuffs his fingers in his ears and yells NYA NYA NYA NYA NOT LISTENING!

(Reply to this)


[info]mirabellawotr
2003-09-25 06:08 am UTC (link)
Holy shit, that wank used up the entire punctuation allotment of a small country for like a year. When Luxembourg runs out of exclamation points right before the holiday rush they're going to sue for reparations, and it'll serve that board right.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]musette, 2003-09-25 07:32 am UTC
The mental images... they wouldn't go away... - [info]zannechaos, 2003-09-25 09:39 am UTC
Re: The mental images... they wouldn't go away... - [info]nixnivis, 2003-09-25 06:23 pm UTC
HOLY COW.
[info]ichigatsu
2003-09-25 06:47 am UTC (link)
I've read many, many wanks here, but before this one I honestly didn't know that people could be that stupid. Or obtuse.

Have to hand it to the banana, though, she sure sticks to her guns.

(Reply to this)


[info]lauren
2003-09-25 07:12 am UTC (link)
!!!!!!!

Artemis Fowl wank!!! That's incredible. I've been searching long and hard for it, without success. I'm in shock. As far as I knew, AF barely has a fandom.

That is truly amazing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]picot, 2003-09-26 10:16 am UTC
Riding the short bus to Hell, but...
[info]dawnswalker
2003-09-25 07:27 am UTC (link)
...I must say that if I were on my deathbed, I'd probably make sure to have last words slightly more poignant than "DJ Qualls would make a good Artemis Fowl".

On a less mean and bitchy note, it's not like movie adaptations (Harry Potter) have never (Harry Potter) aged up certain characters (Harry Potter) according to the whims of the director (Harry FREAKIN' Potter), so in a way, this girl may be on to something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]iczer6, 2003-09-25 08:09 am UTC
Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]sacredcow, 2003-09-25 05:43 pm UTC
Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]iczer6, 2003-09-25 07:39 pm UTC
Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]senor_pinata, 2003-09-25 08:34 pm UTC
Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]chash, 2003-09-26 03:42 am UTC
Re: Riding the short bus to Hell, but... - [info]mrbimble, 2003-09-26 07:29 am UTC

[info]guinevere33
2003-09-25 08:20 am UTC (link)
Oh. My god.

I, too, assumed that you were paraphrasing those posts. My eyes started bleeding about the time I realized you weren't, and by then it was far, far too late.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: - [info]erinmiran, 2003-09-25 08:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]guinevere33, 2003-09-25 08:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bohicamouse, 2003-09-25 08:52 am UTC

[info]folk
2003-09-25 08:42 am UTC (link)
Cover her face. Mine eyes dazzle. She wanked young.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2003-09-25 04:45 pm UTC
Re: - [info]folk, 2003-09-26 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2003-09-25 09:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mirabellawotr, 2003-09-25 09:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]folk, 2003-09-26 06:01 am UTC
Re: - [info]folk, 2003-09-26 02:42 am UTC
Follow up
(Anonymous)
2003-09-25 12:29 pm UTC (link)
Another bit for the therapist to drag out!
So the IMdB people decide to bitch about magneticbanana but they don't want to bump her thread up. So they create Can we make banana split (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0364957/board/nest/3335206/)

Then she rocks up, goes 'And lalalalalala....I can't hear you..lalalala....you're on my ignore list! ALL OF YOU! HA!' And they laugh at her.. again... and again, once she decides that OMG I was like so wrong!!1!! (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0364957/board/thread/3335206?d=3410379#3410379/)

What an idiot!

(Reply to this)


[info]nixnivis
2003-09-25 06:34 pm UTC (link)
I have my own opnion of this matter, just like you do. You have every right to disagree. So do I. That's what message boards are for..."telling other people your opinion". But telling everyone "their own opinions", isn't telling the other person that they're wrong, it's telling them that I have my own opinion and it's not the same as your opinion.

For some reason, I keep hearing "everybody has the right to my own opinion" when I read this... but then, I'm probably still delirious from trying to make heads or tails of it all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]onetrickpony, 2003-09-25 07:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nixnivis, 2003-09-25 07:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onetrickpony, 2003-09-25 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nixnivis, 2003-09-25 07:40 pm UTC

[info]dae
2003-09-25 06:58 pm UTC (link)
Now that's pretty...

I think I like the voice of irony... nicely appended by the phrase 'The sun revolves around the earth, by the way' which shows up the joke.

And other people then going off their heads. But then... his name's written in stickycaps, I never expect them to get the joke...

(Reply to this)

My...my God.
[info]feenix
2003-09-25 08:31 pm UTC (link)
For once, I'm at a loss of icons to describe this.

It's a trainwreck and a supreme wank all in one. I haven't seen a flamewar like that for almost a year now.

MY EYES!!! (partially because of the pain of the wank, partially because of the manbutter flying around)

(Reply to this)


[info]izzygal
2003-09-25 08:31 pm UTC (link)
I think GoOfYsRiDe777 is Ralph Wiggum in disguise.

"It's not that we want to bash anyone's opinion. It's just that, well, your opinion is unlogical."

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

*dies*

That's some good stuff.

(Reply to this)


[info]calluna
2003-09-25 08:57 pm UTC (link)
In reponse to her friend who's never read the books showing up to say that she agrees:

Everybody has their own opinion whether they've read the books or not

'Cause everyone has a right to their opinion, whether it's informed or not... O_o

(Reply to this)


[info]leahthegreat
2003-09-26 01:13 am UTC (link)
What is it with all these people and the mother's dying? Like in the infamous GT wank. I just don't get it at all.

Leah

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mirabellawotr, 2003-09-26 08:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2003-09-27 01:52 pm UTC

[info]ixchelmala
2003-09-29 09:49 am UTC (link)
doesn't this kinda thing make you pine for soem good ol' Harry Potter wank?

(Reply to this)

  
   
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