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Irony ([info]isntitironic) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-10-02 17:01:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*thud*

Harry Potter mini-wank!
Newbie, first wank... just a small one:

So [info]pottersues posts a rather odious little story called Dark Phoenix; its heroine, the beautiful Kaila Kerryda Riddle, is Voldemort's daughter but doesn't know it, her evil foster-father abuses her, and all the kids at school hate her because she's so gorgeous and perfect she makes them all look bad. Then comes... *gasp!*... the magical day when she gets to go to Hogwarts, where she will surely be perfect and beloved and steal Draco's heart or something; I wouldn't know, as there are only three chapters at present.

Anyway, examining the reviews for this story proves to be a pleasant surprise; rather than being of the "OMGWTFBBQ THIS IS LYKE SO TOTALLY AWESOME RITE MORE AND PUT ME IN THE STORY111111exclamationpoint" variety, her reviewers are actually sane and point out to her that the story is rather awful and the main character a Mary-Sue. Most of them are quite polite and constructive about it.

What makes this a mini-wank, then? Well, for one thing, there's an interesting new variation on Sue-blindness, which takes the form of the line: Even my mum says that Kaila isn't a Mary-Sue! I'd say something mocking here, but I think that line really speaks for itself... who the heck goes to their mother for a critique?

And then we have the following entry in the culprit's blog:

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING CRITICISED IN MY FANFIC! WHY? 'COS EVERYBODY SAYS THAT IT SUCKS, VOLDEMORT CAN'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN AND THEN THEY SAY THAT IT'S THE WORST MARY-SUE FIC THEY'VE EVERY READ. COME ON, I MEAN LIKE, HELLO? DO YOU THINK THAT I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE? AND THEY SAY THEY WANT 'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT' HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I'M NINE FOR GODS SAKE! THEY'D PROBABLY THINK, HA HA LAME EXCUSE, HOW COULD YOU BE NINE? GO READ MY REVIEWS, READ MY FIC. SEE WHETHER YOU AGREE. IF YOU DO, THEN SHUT UP! DON'T REVIEW I MEAN LIKE, I COULD, AND EVERY WRITER COULD, DO WITH ONE LESS FUCKING FLAME.

KAILA

Not only are Mary-Sues all the same, so are their authors.


(Post a new comment)


[info]rann
2003-10-03 02:12 am UTC (link)
There are no words to... there are no words to describe...
....
There are no words.

(Reply to this)

what?
(Anonymous)
2003-10-03 02:23 am UTC (link)
She's nine? Years old? Is that fandom years or something? How can...what I mean to say, is that I don't under...why is she...?

'COS EVERYBODY SAYS THAT IT SUCKS, VOLDEMORT CAN'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN AND THEN THEY SAY THAT IT'S THE WORST MARY-SUE FIC THEY'VE EVERY READ. COME ON, I MEAN LIKE, HELLO? DO YOU THINK THAT I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE?

She is admitting that she realizes it's a Mary Sue, and then, what? Dismissed the idea? Does realizing your writing stinks make it stink less?

And then dear Kaila is upset that people are expecting her to create some sort of character development? Why is that a shock. Oh yeah, I forgot. Because...she's...nine.

Steph

(Reply to this)


[info]laymedown
2003-10-03 02:48 am UTC (link)
THEY SAY THEY WANT 'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT' HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I'M NINE FOR GODS SAKE!

I...I don't understand.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]angstbunny
2003-10-03 06:59 am UTC (link)
I've been wanting to say this for a long time now. Your icon ROCKS. I love staring at it. XD!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]musette
2003-10-03 02:56 am UTC (link)
And herein lies the problem with the internet. I may have written crappy stories when I was nine, but I at least could only subject them on my immediate family.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]delfeus
2003-10-03 07:58 pm UTC (link)
I didn't even bother my family with them... Besides, isn't the required age at ffnet 13?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iris, 2003-10-03 08:47 pm UTC
Re: - [info]delfeus, 2003-10-04 11:24 am UTC
Re: - [info]musette, 2003-10-04 01:38 am UTC
Nine?
[info]deejay435
2003-10-03 03:05 am UTC (link)
DON'T REVIEW I MEAN LIKE, I COULD, AND EVERY WRITER COULD, DO WITH ONE LESS FUCKING FLAME.

Well, for someone who is only nine, she's certainly spent time developing quite the nasty vocabulary. If only she treated characters like her potty-mouth, then she'd get somewhere.

(Reply to this)


[info]themadfish
2003-10-03 03:08 am UTC (link)
She's....nine? And she's allowed on the internet?? **pause** Where was this posted? On fanfiction.net? Do they even ALLOW nine year olds to post stuff?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rann
2003-10-03 05:44 am UTC (link)
Apparently they do. So they had to remove all the naughty evil fics so that the cursing, flaming, nasty nine-year-olds wouldn't have their innocence ruined by them.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]calluna, 2003-10-03 08:27 am UTC

[info]gairid
2003-10-03 03:14 am UTC (link)
When's the last time anyone heard a nine year old use the phrase "for god's sake?" Just doesn't sound like something a kid that age would say, somehow, though I'm not around a whole lot of kids in that age group.

If she's 9 where the hell is her mother?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]themadfish, 2003-10-03 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2003-10-03 01:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iris, 2003-10-03 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaoscheebs, 2003-10-04 12:29 am UTC
Mine too - [info]deejay435, 2003-10-04 07:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]photosinensis, 2003-10-03 11:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-10-04 09:18 am UTC
(no subject) - darthhellokitty, 2003-10-03 08:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2003-10-03 02:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-10-04 03:04 pm UTC

[info]nekoneko
2003-10-03 03:27 am UTC (link)
Nine... that would put her in about fourth grade, wouldn't it? I think I was still writing stories about my grandmother's dogs at that point.

This makes Gullinbrusti's head hurt.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - ataniell93, 2003-10-03 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-10-03 07:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2003-10-03 01:38 pm UTC

[info]rebeccasama
2003-10-03 03:30 am UTC (link)
*snort* So much for intelligent kids. I'm sure her mother would love to see her telling people to fuck off on the internet. I hate the Mary-Sue syndrome where if you even dare to suggest that the author's character is a MS they freak out on you - constructive criticism or no. *sigh* We can only hope that as she ages she becomes a tad more mature, and a lot better at writing, when she gets older.

(Reply to this)


[info]kyuuketsukirui
2003-10-03 03:31 am UTC (link)
Whether she really is nine or not, f_w doesn't allow wanking of minors. There's a link somewhere, but I think it should be added to the community info.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sagralisse, 2003-10-03 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2003-10-03 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2003-10-03 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedcherub, 2003-10-03 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]calluna, 2003-10-03 08:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alden, 2003-10-03 08:48 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]lokifin, 2003-10-03 04:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iris, 2003-10-03 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - snowball, 2003-10-04 07:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowan, 2003-10-03 08:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]enkogneatoh, 2003-10-03 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2003-10-03 06:01 am UTC
(no subject) - ataniell93, 2003-10-03 06:16 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]htrismegistus, 2003-10-03 07:05 am UTC
(no subject) - ataniell93, 2003-10-03 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2003-10-03 08:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2003-10-03 08:33 am UTC
GIP
[info]loki
2003-10-03 05:08 am UTC (link)
Nothing to add...just admiring your Tohru icon. Yay Fruits Basket!

(Reply to this)


[info]amakath
2003-10-03 05:28 am UTC (link)
COME ON, I MEAN LIKE, HELLO?

Indeed.

(Reply to this)


[info]mrbimble
2003-10-03 08:28 am UTC (link)
Not only who goes to their mother for fanfiction critique but who tells their mother they're writing fanfiction?

I'm the mother of a 10 yr old. He doesn't write fanfiction - he's barely past the Magic Tree House Series. And he sure as hell doesn't say thing like SEE WHETHER YOU AGREE. IF YOU DO, THEN SHUT UP! DON'T REVIEW I MEAN LIKE, I COULD, AND EVERY WRITER COULD, DO WITH ONE LESS FUCKING FLAME

This is no 9 year old. No way, no how. My guess is mid-teens.

Which, I suppose, still leaves the problem of whether we should be discussing her at all, since chances are pretty good she's underage.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-10-04 09:26 am UTC

[info]calluna
2003-10-03 08:37 am UTC (link)
Aw, somebody's banned:

Right, I personally think that somebody complained about my fic of something cos i can't log in anymore...curse the damn fucking person who did that. I mean like, i'm 9 so what? You don't have to say that i can't write, i can write and i can write well. Better than many people. Wish they would keep their comments to themselves. Hello? My story, all down the drain. That's the reason. HELLO? CAN THAT STUPID FUCKER PLEASE READ THIS.

Yeah, sounds nine to me. :P Tangled web and all that.

(Reply to this)

hmm
(Anonymous)
2003-10-03 08:53 am UTC (link)
I am an English teacher, and I can say with absolute certainty, that barring some sort of child genius (which this girl does not strike me as), there is no 9 year old known to man that correctly uses "well" instead of "better" and "their" instead of "there." Would. Never. Happen. Do children even learn homonyms in third/fourth grade?

Steph

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: hmm - [info]nevadafighter, 2003-10-03 09:28 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2003-10-03 11:10 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]mirabellawotr, 2003-10-03 08:40 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]kannaophelia, 2003-10-04 09:33 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]beandelphiki, 2003-10-03 12:10 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]melange, 2003-10-03 12:17 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]darthfi, 2003-10-03 12:43 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]loafing_oaf, 2003-10-03 07:59 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]darthfi, 2003-10-04 12:25 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]loafing_oaf, 2003-10-04 01:39 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]darthfi, 2003-10-04 02:12 am UTC
Re: hmm - [info]deejay435, 2003-10-04 07:40 am UTC
Re: hmm - (Anonymous), 2003-10-05 05:44 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]delfeus, 2003-10-03 08:06 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]dejla, 2003-10-03 08:16 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2003-10-03 09:09 pm UTC
Re: hmm - (Anonymous), 2003-10-03 08:29 pm UTC
Re: hmm - [info]valarltd, 2003-10-03 08:54 pm UTC
Re: hmm - ataniell93, 2003-10-03 11:04 pm UTC
Nope. Wrong. - [info]frito_kal, 2003-10-04 01:34 am UTC
Re: Nope. Wrong. - [info]folk, 2003-10-04 12:35 pm UTC
Re: Nope. Wrong. - [info]frito_kal, 2003-10-04 06:49 pm UTC

[info]dawnswalker
2003-10-03 09:29 am UTC (link)
So... what do you suppose the age of majority for being able to write coherently is?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2003-10-03 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2003-10-03 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2003-10-04 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2003-10-04 12:37 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2003-10-03 11:06 pm UTC (link)
Despite feeling fairly confident this girl is over 9, it seems that the internet standard is to treat people according to the age that they style themselves to be.

Unless someone can unearth compelling proof otherwise (and for this I offer a huge "why bother?"), this girl should be treated like a 9 year old, and in that case I would say that it's not fair to wank her.


(I'm having trouble logging in. Apologies, Herongale)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)

(Anonymous)
2003-10-03 11:12 pm UTC (link)
No way is that girl nine. I just don't believe that.

I do believe that her intelligence deteriorates toward the end of the 'screaming,' because I only understand about half, and I got that from reading it several times.

*rubs eyes* it hurts us, precious.

Now, I've let my mom read my fic. Mostly because I have a good relationship with my mom, but that's aside the point. I'm an adult, though. I mean, if I'd written swear words (assuming I had a computer when I was nine, which I didn't) when I was nine, my mother would have killed me. As it was she washed my mouth out with soap, and I learned the words from her (always open your mouth when they come with the soap. Otherwise, she grinds it into your teeth and it's much worse in the long run. *sigh*).

So, not nine, but not over 18 either.

~Julie

(Reply to this)


[info]photosinensis
2003-10-03 11:30 pm UTC (link)
At nine? I could. But then, I was a bit ahead of the curve when it came to literacy. I was already reading adult fiction at that age (I think that's when I first read Jurassic Park). Most of my friends were reading R. L. Stine at that age. God, that was trash.

This, however, based on use of the F word, is no nine-year-old.

(Reply to this)

Yowzahs
[info]brain_stain
2003-10-04 12:01 am UTC (link)
Y'know, considering there's a consensus that the kid in question is nowhere near the age of eighteen (whether or not she actually nine), there are a helluva lot of posts in this thread.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Yowzahs - [info]loafing_oaf, 2003-10-04 01:49 am UTC

[info]thegoldsky
2003-10-04 01:45 am UTC (link)
the girl is taking sewing in her art class. who would trust nine-year-olds with a needle? certainly not me.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2003-10-04 05:03 am UTC (link)
Ahahahaha!

This wank had me laughing so hard. Sweet Lord Almighty, if she had to play the "Stop it! I'm young!" card, she could have at least made it even slightly believable.

*sigh*

AND THEY SAY THEY WANT 'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT' HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I'M NINE FOR GODS SAKE!

Hehehe. Two words: GROW UP.

~ell (who is very pms-y at the moment)

(Reply to this)

  
   
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