crevette
2003-10-05 10:53 pm UTC (link)

Poor Orlando.

I guess his astral plane self just likes going around and impregnating (possibly underage) Sues for shits and giggles. Oh. And carving his name on their thighs. Because, of course, he's not getting enough hot corporeal poontang whilst he's concious. ::rolls eyes::

She should have at least made him wear a condom. Or materilize into one. Or like pull.. erm... dissipate... out. Stupid Sues with hordes of illegitimate misty looking children. They fall for that "I'm just a mist! I'm shooting blanks!" line ALL the time!

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	sagralisse 2003-10-06 04:03 am UTC (link)
	Because, of course, he's not getting enough hot corporeal poontang whilst he's concious. Perhaps Orlando gets SO much corporeal poontang that he's been worn away to this misty state. That would be bad! ::shakes fist at slutty fangirls:: (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sajasma 2003-10-06 12:50 pm UTC (link)
	They fall for that "I'm just a mist! I'm shooting blanks!" line ALL the time! DIES I may just have to icon that with Misty!Orli. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	soleta 2003-10-05 10:54 pm UTC (link)
	this got posted in tws_support, too. wanders over to see if said author found said post... nope. g silly author. we mock. it's what we do. denials of mary-sueism only cause more mockage. (Reply to this)

	guardian_writer 2003-10-05 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	oh that story totally deserves the WTF response. My brain hurts. And gollum really isn't listening. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	rhi_silverflame 2003-10-05 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	fangirls your icon (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rebeccasama 2003-10-06 02:47 am UTC (link)
	Love the icon ;) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sagralisse 2003-10-06 04:09 am UTC (link)
	Oh yeah, excellent icon. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	guardian_writer 2003-10-06 06:50 am UTC (link)
	alas I didn't make it. Some lovely person here on F_W did and I cannot for the life of me remember who. Its quite amusing though. I believe the original posting of it can be found in the the giant LOTR wank somewhere lower on the main page. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	guardian_writer 2003-10-06 06:52 am UTC (link)
	and i just also realized that gollum isn't my default anymore. :-p lol thats the icon I was supposed to have up. there it is! :-D (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bohicamouse 2003-10-05 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	How did I miss this on TWS? How? Yes, I’m pregnant. Pregnant by supernatural connection. SPORFLE (Reply to this)

rhi_silverflame
2003-10-05 11:57 pm UTC (link)

Yesterday in the parking lot at Wal-Mart I saw a rusty old Ford Econoline van with a message scrawled all across the driver's side in blue masking tape. It was such a "what the shit?" moment that I had to drive around it again so my partner could write the whole thing down. Forgive the capitalization, as I am trying to reproduce it as accurately as possible. ;)

JESUS SPOKE TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT VAL KILMER IS MY SONS DAD PLEASE HELP ME FIND VAL IM DAWN CHRISTIAN THE BRIDE OF THE LAMB

With a phone number.

This story reminds me of that.

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	redmoose 2003-10-06 01:38 am UTC (link)
	That could only ever be found in a Wal Mart parking lot! It's times like that I bet you wish you had a digital camera in your pocket, huh? I'd pay good money to see that! :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	starherd 2003-10-06 08:31 am UTC (link)
	My husband carries around his digital camera all the time for just such occasions, and has a modest "anti-culture" web page up on his site at cool-man.org... ...but man, that beats most of what he has. I'm quite impressed. That wasn't at a Wal-Mart in the SF Bay Area (California), was it? hopeful (Reply to this)(Parent)

delurkation

sidhebastardess
2003-10-06 12:08 am UTC (link)

Great good gods. I don't consider myself easily squicked, generally, but this. I have been scarred for life. *claws eyes out*

The frightening thing is, the girl's not a bad writer on most levels. Everything but characterization and *choke* plot seem to me the best of any Mary Sue author I've ever seen.

And yet, she came up with the most frightening Mary Sue plot I've ever seen. *shakes head* Please do not explode, my brain.

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	Re: delurkation visp 2003-10-06 08:18 am UTC (link)
	has just figured out what your icon's about Heehee! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: delurkation deejay435 2003-10-07 05:44 am UTC (link)
	I adore your Icon. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: delurkation sidhebastardess 2003-10-07 07:19 am UTC (link)
	Aw, thanks guys. That Pern thread was one of my all-time favorites . . . finally decided not to lurk anymore after that. Well, maybe I just wanted to show off my icon. =P (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: delurkation delfeus 2003-10-07 08:13 pm UTC (link)
	That icon reminds me of this horrifying fic I came across yesterday. shudder (Reply to this)(Parent)

	brain_stain 2003-10-06 12:09 am UTC (link)
	Okay, you now the truly scary part for me? I was thinking of the wrong "Orlando" guy. It took me a while before I made the connection that this was "Orlando Bloom" from LOTR; I was thinking, "Orlando Jones", the "Make 7-Up Yours" guy. If that's not a scary mental image, I don't know what is. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	chaoscheebs 2003-10-06 12:18 am UTC (link)
	Would that mean the mist was made of evaporated 7-Up? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: brain_stain 2003-10-06 12:20 am UTC (link)
	If it makes you sleep better at night, then yes. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seventy_three 2003-10-06 12:52 am UTC (link)
	Some of us don't like the idea of you carving your name in our flesh. Heh. Speak for yourself. (Reply to this)

	My favorite part deejay435 2003-10-06 02:49 am UTC (link)
	I've dealt with people who think all Mary Sues are shit I just have no words. (Reply to this)

	dawnswalker 2003-10-06 02:56 am UTC (link)
	...Are we sure this isn't another fake!fic or something? 'Cause DAMN. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-10-06 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	Are we sure this isn't another fake!fic or something? Absolutely. Because the author has a whole archive of explicit LOTR fics (http://www.ofelvesandmen.com/StoriesbyAuthor/R/Robin.htm), some of which are MySexualFantasy!Mary Sues. It gave me nightmares. Maria (http://www.livejournal.com/~alpheratz) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	necronomist 2003-10-07 05:41 am UTC (link)
	I no longer feel like the biggest dork in the world. Thank you. (Reply to this)(Parent)

trismegistus
2003-10-06 08:45 am UTC (link)

No noise is made as I’m quickly brought to earthquake, the mist melting away from my body and disappearing before my eyes. It was too quick for me, and I want more,

Tcha. That's the way it always is with these ethereal mist/spirit constructs that give young gels righteous tossings in the middle of the night, isn't it? Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, gotta get a'dissipating, inclement weather system on the way tomorrow and if I don't float on out of here now traffic's going to be murder around the cumulonimbus strata of the atmosphere.

Bah. Whatever happened to a nice cuddle after the fact, eh?

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	sidhebastardess 2003-10-06 09:01 am UTC (link)
	rofl Oh man. You rock. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	trismegistus 2003-10-06 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I do try. ;-D (Reply to this)(Parent)

	guardian_writer 2003-10-06 10:17 pm UTC (link)
	falls down laughing that was great! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	trismegistus 2003-10-06 11:14 pm UTC (link)
	:D Hey, if I was a fangirl about to be astrally impregnated by ~~Slimer~~ the spirit-force of Orlando Bloom, I'm soddin' well going to get a cuddle after the fact. LEIK OMG he is teh s3x0rz!!!11 (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	iczer6 2003-10-07 08:48 am UTC (link)
	How about a fangirl thinks she's impregnated by Orlando Bloom only to find out it was actually Orlando JONES the 7-UP guy who's the father! And I have to ask what is in your icon? It's driving me nuts. Icz (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

trismegistus
2003-10-07 08:58 am UTC (link)

How about a fangirl thinks she's impregnated by Orlando Bloom only to find out it was actually Orlando JONES the 7-UP guy who's the father!

Ooh, that's bloody beautiful--I sense the next RPS epic in development! It's got romance, it's got drama, it's got teh agnst coming out of it like the dickens. I see Shane West as Bloom, Marlon Wayans as Jones, and Kerr Smith as the Plucky Fangirl Who Loved Her Orlandos Pure And True. *Sniff*, it brings a tear to my eye, it does, it does.

And my avatar is a New Mexican horned lizard. They evolved their spikes for two reasons: 1) during the desert night, dew condenses on the spiny outcroppings, making them sort of mobile water farms, and 2) they're bad-ass as all heck. Pretty little thing, ain't it?

*pets lizard...carefully*

Ain't National Geographic Photography grand? :D

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iczer6
2003-10-07 09:04 am UTC (link)

[I see Shane West as Bloom, Marlon Wayans as Jones, and Kerr Smith as the Plucky Fangirl Who Loved Her Orlandos Pure And True. *Sniff*, it brings a tear to my eye, it does, it does.]

I can see the grand finale... BOTH Orlando's must fight to the death for the love of Mary Sue!

Will Bloom's hot blond wig and leggings be enough to over Jone's ability to hock 7-UP?

Who *is* her baby's daddy?

Will Dom and Lijah come out of the closet? [Oh wait, different wank there.]

Thanks for the icon info!

Icz

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	delfeus 2003-10-07 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	Hahaa! Now, I can understand a teen girl fantasizing of Orli visiting her at night, but DOES SHE HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN?!! Or actually post it. Christ... I can't help laughing at her comments. BUT YOU DIDN'T ASK ME!!! Bad, bad, people. lol (Reply to this)