Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:41am: Goddamn Harry Potter Plagiarists
Well, not really. But you can't bring up HP without mentioning plagiarism. There's a law.

I thought John was nice person, but he's a big meanie!

Oh, yeah, bitch? You can suck my cock!

10:49am: [Admin] New rules for Fandom Wank
Many of you have been complaining about the declining standards of wank posted to this community.

As a result of this, We have decided that in the future, all posts must be submitted through a hand picked wank approval panel, who will decide whether the kerfluffle in question is wanky enough to be allowed on the board and edit it if necessary.

After objections were raised to the idea of a super-sekrit cabal of mods, the guidelines used to define wank and the list of proposed edits will be made public below.

( How your wank will be classified and edited? )


That is all, lowly peons. You may go about your business now.

Love and kisses,
Orwellian Mod of the Sekrit and Eval Ruling Cabal #48

3:40pm: meta-existentia-wank
It's been going on two weeks since anybody's tried to TOS us.

I feel strange. Like when your thoughtless upstairs neighbor turns his stereo down.

6:20pm: Wank seeds
I think I may have strained something.

Story summaries, from Fiction Alley.

Including such gems as:

"Sir Elton John and Draco Malfoy combine to create the ultimate window to Draco's soul."

"Told out of chronological order to keep it intresting."

"Two duelists meet in the dead of night. On the battleground, they stand, awaiting the dance fever to overtake them."

"Using the song "Hero", by Enrique Iglesias as its insparation, and the heart of Peter Pettigrew for its desperation, Hero is a fic to move you to tears and make you want to appreciate the finer things in life."

And, IMO, the winner - "If you never had a friend in your entire life and the only one you can ever remember having was a girl who stole your heart away, one you had known just for a few hours, one you fell in love with from the moment you saw her, and then when you grew older she never remembered you, how would you feel?"

7:46pm: Can we spray for those?
I don't know if it's because they come out around Easter, like purple Peeps, but we have yet another case of Fundie in the HP fandom! Fun for the whole non-traditional family!

10:13pm: More popwank
I'd already posted this in my journal, but since someone was nice enough to give me a JF code, I thought I'd jump in... again (seeing as I was a wanker in earlier f_w incarnations and I have the strikethrough in my user info to prove it):

I come bearing the latest *nwank.

EDIT: Original entry was friends-locked but I added my summary (if people won't let us see their own words, they'll have to rely on mine).

The Sparkly Mafia lives on. I may have to make an icon.

And to think that someone said there isn't much to talk about in popslash.

10:40pm: Chicago wank!
"This morning... Catherine Zeta-Jones died today in childbirth."

"You know why it's not funny? Because dying during childbirth is a TRAGEDY. So fucking what if people die every day!?! My first child was born over 2 mos early, and I died on the table during her birth. Only by sheer luck and medical skill were they able to save me and my daughter."

"It's not SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY! April Fools day is not about laughing and saying FUNNY things. It's about TRICKING people; playing tricks or saying "mean" things to scare/annoy/shock people."

And so on.

...And hee! My first wank.

Grace