Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

2:13am: My first wank...it feels special, somehow.
I bring you Phantom of the Opera wank. Well, more of a miniwank, really - but I do love the part where PoTO is referred to as "a musical written by angels and placed into the mind of men".

9:30am: And it keeps going . . . and going . . . and going . . .
More Manwhore . . . er, Michael . . . Rosenbaum wank.

After embitca's original Fandom_Wank post, Edie apologizes for any misunderstandings about starting the LJ community in the first place. ". . . sorry to anyone who was offended. Sorry to anyone that got hurt. It wasn't directed at you."

Rivier doesn't buy it, and blows her British gasket. "I think I wouldn't wipe my arse with your opinion." Me-OW!

The wankiest part? Edie never said she started the community as a "fuck you" to anyone, least of all Rivier. Way to keep the wank rolling, embitca. Ha!

Seriously, how humorless can some Smallville fans get? Take a step back and just look at The Pretty.

3:22pm: Just What Fandom Needs: Smallville Fans BREEDING.
I was browsing my friends list and came upon a "What the shit is this?!" post about an online personals and romance web site specifically for Smallville fans. Yes, it's a place for single Smallville fans to meet, hook up, and finally stop wanking literally, if not metaphorically.

5:15pm: Potterwank ... it's the wank that keeps on wanking
Remember the pottersginny wank?

Pottersginny likes to hang out at Gryffindor Tower, also recently wanked.

Ebony publically challenges GT on what she feels was their lack of action regarding pottersginny with such gems as: "When individuals who work for corporations are proven to have behaved in a sexist, racist, and/or heterosexist manner, said corporation almost always attempts to make gestures of conciliation not only towards those on the inside, but outward to the offended parties/community. These gestures should occur almost immediately. If you have mud on your blouse, who cares if you were rolling around with the pigs, or if you were splattered by chance as you passed by? ... This does not only apply to the corporate world. It ought to apply to the fandom's most popular sites."

RunechildUK responds to this by utilizing the time honored technique of pointing fingers back at the accuser: "I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that would satisfy her conditions is for a representative of the Gryffindor Tower administration to make a grovelling apology on Fiction Alley Park. I have news for you dear; it’s never going to happen. If it were the case throughout the fandom that the administrative staff had to make a public apology and disassociate themselves from the individual in question on the boards of the affected site, the Fiction Alley administrators would spend more time on our boards than they do on their own."

Naturally, there is more fun to be had in comments.

{ETA: RunechildUK deleted their journal within less than two minutes of this post appearing on f_w. That may be a new f_w record. But more wank can be found here regarding said post.}

9:19pm: The Great Sailor Moon Lesbian Debate
Why is Haruka a lesbian?

Wanker: I think it's because of some great tragedy that happened in her past that I just had to fix in one of my fics.
Board Member 1: Prepare for flames.
Board Member 2: Because her creator made her one.
Board Member 3: *long technical explanation of why people are gay*
Wanker: You people are MORONS and have no lives and I refuse to believe that my God would make people naturally gay.
Board Member 4: Oh, it's one of them.
Board Member 5: Do us a favor and learn to think for yourself.
Wanker: I refuse to discuss this further! Stop replying to my post!
Board Members: *blow raspberries at the wanker* Make us, Bitch!