Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:49am: More U_Make_LJ_Suck Wank!
Noting that I'm probably the biggest pretentious asshole on the planet, is it proper wankiquitte to fandom_wank yourself?

But seriously, I couldn't avoid it. This is what happens when you get two really self-righteous people together
in one, uh, forum.

Only half of them appear not understand a word of English...sometimes myself, even, I worry.

In the words of Judge Judy, "You're listening, but you're not comprehending."

http://www.livejournal.com/community/u_make_lj_suck/211408.html

Let this be a lesson to people. Don't touch people who like to air their opinions about pro-life and pro-choice all over the internet with a 39 1/2 foot pole.

5:27am: Anime Artist!Wank
Today's wank is short (thus far), but fresh out of the oven and oh-so sweet. (And for a change, it's mainly on Diaryland. Amazing!)


Anyway, I've got a pal who is a pretty darn talented artist IMHO. A couple of days ago, she posted a musing in her blog on the subject of artists feeling competitive or even jealous or each other's talent, even when they're buddies (entries start at the bottom, the one in question would be the "first" [aka last] one).

Sounds normal, right? Her point seems pretty clear, ne?

Well, one of her other friends somehow manages to turn the whole situation into something about herself (again, entries start from the bottom).

It's too bad she deleted and disallowed further replies to that particular series of entries, though you can guess the gist of what the reactions of some of the people were from the particularly angry bit in the last entry in the series (the top one).

Oh, and a third party joins in to attempt to calmly explain to the girl how THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER. Dunno if she'll have any luck, though - I've been a reader of my friend's blog for a good long while now, and this isn't the first time she's overreacted like that. Oh well, here's hoping I'm proven wrong.


Edit: And because Ruaki hasn't dignified the whole issue with a response, the girl's now going on about how Ruaki must hate her (top entry).

12:35pm: Because Somebody Had To Do It!
Somebody earlier in a wank had said that it would be rather amusing to see the reaction of the u_make_lj_suck folks if I posted saying that the community really makes LJ suck.

I couldn't NOT do it, it was so tempting, but in case I am A: banned, or the post is B: deleted, I am preserving it here for posterity.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/u_make_lj_suck/212550.html

"You know, I've thought about this for a bit, and I just couldn't avoid the amusing meta-ness of it all.

You see, recently I have come to a conclusion. I assure you, I am not the only one to come to this conclusion.

You see, u_make_lj_suck makes LJ suck.

Not all the time, mind you, but quite often. There are many posts that aren't sucky.

Unfortunately, there are many that are. Some members are suckier than the members they post about.

Some of them complain about LJDrama. This community is a step away from LJDrama. It's like a really tame, really lj_sucky fandom wank. Why doth thou protest so much?

So, in closing, am I the only member of this community that finds it really damned funny that, quite often, a community dedicated to people who suck, er, sucks?"

I'm guessing maybe their heads explode. You know, what with all the meta. Like in movies, when people outsmart robots.

(In unrelated news, how does one A: use a cut tag and B: access their JF codes page on JF? It's really wonky.)

*waits to see what happens*

Addendum: It appears previous post (about Whiny Life Story Girl) has been deleted, along with one made early thismorning by a person with a massive throbbing vendetta against LJDrama saying that when she joined, she didn't want an "LJDrama"-like community, and that all the "drama" in u_make_lj_suck sucked. It's been shown before, however, that this girl sucks in and of herself.

Addendum The Second: It appears to be back again aftr a few hours, with more posts from the original user. It ALSO appears that even the original poster didn't know WTF she was talking about.

*weeps*

2:34pm: J-Rock Wank!
Ohhhh, how did I miss this one so far? Ahh, friends friends page, how great you are for a good wank!

Apparently, over at the Dir en Grey community, someone got sick of all the fangirls taking over the community! Fangirls? In a fandom centered around hot, Asian men in rock bands?! Why, I never! The nerve of those girls, posting "Hi, my name is -" posts and *math**problems* and Got Milk ads involving those J-Rockers! It's positively *degrading* to those poor, noble men! {/sarcasm}

At any rate, here's Fucker-chan's farewell post, in which she tells the whole community how much they suck for having fangirls in it. Some agree. Some don't. Some take personal offense, because every single instance of community 'sucking' that Fucker-chan points out goes back to one poster. *other than the 'Hi, my name is -' posts, which tons of people do* Sounds like a vendetta to me!

Crotch-claiming, cat-fighting, and finger-pointing ensue. Fun to be had by all. ^_^

ETA => Ohhh, also found this little beauty of a post, in which deg_obsessed apparently bitched about fangirls, got his ass smacked back down, and then had to edit his post. ^^ The comments are teh funneh! Snarkiness enough to go around!

6:24pm: I am insane
Remember wing!fic?

Well, I went one better. I wrote dog!fic. Yah, that's right. Fic in which Dom turns into a dog. I hope to spawn a new genre within AU LoTRiPS either that or be driven from the fandom with pitchforks and blazing torches.

Find evidence of my insanity here.

9:31pm: If FandomWank is like Jesus, is the Smallville Fandom kinda like Satan?
So. Fic author Henry Jones, Jr., also known as Sabershadowkat on LJ, who is actually not a man, posted this Clark/Lex fic entitled "Of Legend" with Clark explicity as Jesus Christ and Lex as... well, I wouldn't want to ruin this for you. *cough*

Naturally no one in the Smallville fandom can so much as post a fic without 400 other people getting completely hysterical about it, so within 2 days' time, we've got

Penelope Z chiming in that You might call what I'm doing now flaming, and yes, that's it probably. ... I find the story a badfic, a cheap gimmick to shock, especially as it appears in the archive with not the smallest warning.

And then there's
Olympia M, who wants to clarify that it's not JUST that it's BibleSlash, it's that it's RILLY BAD Bibleslash and has Clark Kent and Lex Luthor that bugged us.

*scratches head*

Rosenho asks the always-pertinent (and sensitive!) question, Who gives a rat's asshole, you self-important shits?. Only phrased slightly prettier.

JacynRebekah wants us to remember that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean 1273846128 Smallville fans aren't out to get you

and

Shadowstorn shrugs the whole thing off by letting us know that it was in perfectly good taste for those of us who piss on your stupid fucking religion anyway.

ETA:

SugarRush has recently more or less settled the matter by proclaiming that calling someone a useless hack just because you disagree with them makes you a... um. useless hack!

That's what I love about the SV fandom: its unwaivering devotion to logic.

*shishkabobs marshmallows and prepares to make FlameWar S'mores*

10:33pm: More from the Dir en Grey community!
Just ran across this priceless comeback to the recent l33t-ism going on over at Dir_en_Grey - apparently, the wank hasn't stopped yet today!

"Oh my god EW They're so gross and I HATE looking at them but their music is really cool and I'm going to be really elitist about the fact that I have practically all their songs!"

And did Fucker-chan follow through on her threat to quit? Of course not! Because she replies to the thread *at the very bottom* by telling everyone to go fuck themselves because she hates them. ^^

*eats popcorn and watches the wank turn*

11:45pm: Did we miss this one?
I mean, sure, it might be beaded pony time, but it's so weird that this hasn't made it yet . . .

Oh yeah. It was just posted today. My bad.

Anyway, snuh (still tryin' to reckon that one out) posts about being banned from a community (took me about halfway through the comments to figure out which one) and claims that the "teenage moderator" "bears a striking resemblence to a young Adolph Hitler." (Does that count as Godwin's Law?)

Said mod and his friends leap into the fray.

160 comments worth. Enough said.

Bonus: The sheer enjoyment of watching snuh and sugarpuss engage in several long argumentative threads and reach a stalemate, only to begin again later on!

Watch the cries of "get over it!" fall on deaf ears. Fine family entertainment.

11:59pm: Fear Not - a shining beacon for art, truth and wank is among us
This choice wank was brought to my attention by the excellent lala247 and, since the original threads were sadly deleted, hosted by the equally excellent queenmab_223.

So, there's a music industry fan forum called The Velvet Rope.

Meet Jamie Leigh - a one-woman walking fandom. Self-described artist, musician, poet, author, web-mistress, auteur, bleeding heart, domestic abuse survivor. "I am here to celebrate the power of human and divine individuality mixed with limitless creative expression - I hope you enjoy your time with me."

Jamie, with her very first post, spams an area called The Hype with a page-long self-pimp (unfortunately lost to the ether) pointing the way to her butt-clenchingly awful, unfathomable, irritating labyrinth of a website. The Guillotine Of Truth Has Fallen!

A new thread begins mocking her, complete with posting of hysterically funny pictures.

See Jamie Leigh defend her intentions by taking the Higher Moral Ground! Hear her ramble about being voted a Phenomenal Woman Of The Web! Watch a member drop in to defend her, then read further, step back, and encourage others to renew their "beatings"! Send Jamie your phone number! She'll call you to prove herself! (She is, after all, "one of the foremost women of the Internet today.")

Pages hosted separately:

Page 1 - My name is Jamie Leigh, and I welcome you into my world. A world where all that is known is that nothing is known nor will ever be known for sure.

Page 2 - Smile more people, you are so filled with this anger, if I can help you filter it out than I guess it's a good thing.

Page 3 - Animals and kids are what I surround myself with, they keep me humble.

Page 4 - My visitors call me the 'Madonna Of The Internet' so it's not something I came up with.

Page 5 - Trust me sweetheart, if you met me away from your computer safety net you wouldn't say much more than a peep, trust me.