Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:28am: Anime Sex Wank
The stage for this wank, Anime on DVD is the definition of anime and DVD geekery to the limit, especially once you get to their digital versatile fanboy forums. Whether they're browbeating anime studios, obsessing over cardboard boxes, or showing the world what happens when yuppies and anime fandom come together, good times are had by all.

Although the mods seem to be vigilant, and the forum community is headed by a crowd of "Yes Men" which rally behind site founder/owner Chris Beveridge, occasionally a wank sneaks right in. By the way, now would be a good time to stress that this wank has spoilers in it for "His and Her Circumstances".

( His and Her Wanks )

The sad thing is, for the reasons that I mentioned above, plus the fact that AoD forum goers are singlemindedly devoted to the Cult of the BOX (no other anime related issue matters to them but the getting of a box to put their DVDs in), that one tended to lose its groove almost as soon as it got it.

But really... when people start mini-wanks about homosexuality, religion, and edits in a completely different series other than the one being discussed, I found it hard not to post this. I hope this is wanktastic enough for a beginning effort. ^^;

3:26pm: It's Smallville Wank! Are you shocked?
Naturally the SV fandom cannot just have awards-giving dramas and flamewars like normal fandoms. That would be way too easy, and the flamewars would be tiresome and petty like with the CBFFAs and the wankery they inspired this year (again).

Not to be outdone, the Smallville folks have come up with a harebrained foolproof way to ensure that their fiction awards are not just fair and accurate, but productive! The Treasury's intentions certainly look noble on the surface, but look closer, and you'll immediately see the potential for mind-frying wank is impressive. Witness: It's been up for, like, a day, and so much silliness has ensued that I've decided to hand out my own SV_Wank awards:

Winning the Best Illustration of That Famed Smallvillian Logic category is Bexless, who is all "Haven't you people learned anything? Fanfic awards are seriously a veryveryveryveryvery bad idea and this is inevitably going to lead to doom and destruction, but I'll support this one anyway because I love everyone there."

Taking home the prestigious I Have No Idea What I Actually Think But I'm Going To Rant About It Anyway</b> award is Corinna_5, who agrees that, "boy, this is going to blow monkey chunks (but I hope I win anyway)."

Whisking away the coveted I Re-explain Myself For The 4813478th Time So That You, Too, Can Feel Free To Hideously Misquote and Subsequently Flame The Shit Out Of Me Anyway prize is Seperis, who explains once again why awards are good and necessary, especially, coincidentally, hers!

ScribblinLenore wins the Believe Me, In *This* Fandom, It's ALWAYS Necessary To Gratuitously Point Out The Obvious award with this entry.

Finally, in an easy victory in the Makes Too Much Sense to Be a Real Smallville Fan category is LaT, who, like the calm before the storm, accurately points out how pretzel-like and egregious the whole thing is.

It's like, nobody's angry and ripping anyone's heads off yet, but everybody uneasily seems to feel like they should be. So, technically, it's not a flamewar yet... it's just a gathering of kindling.

*BTW, all you SV fans out there, I will kill you all if you don't each leave Bible-length explanations for why my Pete humorfic RULES THE UNIVERSE. What? I'm just sayin'.

7:15pm: You say potato, I say dirty, dirty porn.
More Whose Line is It Anyway wank. The messageboard is run by Voy, which has been known to pull a hissy fit on some browsers. Someone posts the URLS to photos from GQ here and here. Someone else copies and pastes the wrong URL, which gets them to this error page. They take offense to said error page here. And hilarity ensues!

ETA: Sorry, but I'm just too amused by all this. I have no desire to be exposed to your brand of humor. I find it debasing and disgusting - especially when I'm exposed to it without my knowledge. So, you know, warn her first. And not to forget, Remember a lot of times what the performers are saying in interviews is said tongue in check and should not be taken as gospel truth.