Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

2:38am: AnimeonDVD.com wank!
This beautiful wank comes to us from last year's Otakon. It's small, but thoroughly amusing. A reporter jumps up at a panel and screams "AnimeonDVD.com sucks!"...

And all fanboy hell breaks loose.

Several anonymous flames are poured into his LiveJournal when Chris Beveredge posts a link to it on animeondvd.com. Shouts of "That's unprofessional!!!1!" are heard from both sides. Fun wank ensues... ^_^

9:21am: Miss Tori wrote a "fanfiction"...
"I am writing a fanfiction, emphasis on fiction It's intended to be nothing more than a fictional story, it's not supposed to be an accurate psychoanalytical dissection of the characters, It's just a story.
"part of the main plot of the story is that one character has an oedipal complex and another has an electra complex."

I'm tilting my head sideways right the fuck over and those two paragraphs are not quite jibing... Anyway, as far as I can tell without reading the tale in question (sorry, I'm violently allergic to this kind of fanfic), misstoric took great pains to use outdated "Fruedian" rationalization to get her Mary Sue into bed with Boba Fett. *shudder* Okay!

I grudgingly guess some of her pedantic, humorless rationalizations aren't TOO winceworthy for a Mary Sue. I've seen worse. However, here's where the wank comes in: she posted a lengthy demand for "criticism." She got it. Guess what? She didn't like it. So what does she do? Of course! She scurries over to another community to fuss and cry about it. Because her psychoanalysis story is leik omg too awsome to be psychoanalyzed by somebody ELSE! Validate her! VALIDATE HEEEER!!!

What do you think? Wank or merely whine?

8:12pm: The comic wank goes on and on and on and on...
Extra, extra! Read all about it! Mike Smith says Fandom_Wank still sucks! As an added news flash, we've apparently all got the intellect of four year-olds! Watch as your favorite wankers chime in to express their grief and bitterness at being wanked! Frito Kal compares us to a bunch of 5 year olds! *and now that I've mentioned Frito Kal, she'll show up and this will get something like 285 comments as she argues her long-forgotten and inane point* StormFreak propositions Mike! Where the hell is Nute?! All these inspiring tidbits and more can be yours just for clicking my little linky-link above!

And since I find Mike Smith so wonderfully *inspiring*, I felt inspired to create the following sentence just for this occasion!

I, the wankitiest wank that has ever wanking wanked, wank the wanking Hell out of Fandom-wanking-Wank!!!!1!one!1!wank!!!!twenty-five!!!! Wank.

9:02pm: We mock because we care. Really.
I love this board, and I like a lot of the people on it. But it's become seriously wanky in a case of personal issues between a mod and a poster. I'll 'fess up that I participated a bit - I didn't feel it was fair to make a wank report without at least warning the board that the discussions are getting very wanky, and another retort I made was just after I woke up and before my first cup of coffee. (Never a time when I'm in the best of moods.) I'll be direct quoting here since although I'm linking to the forums and threads on the board, and they're viewable/usable by guests, I can't direct-link to exact posts in question.

It all started when Xei - otherwise known as Xee Metallium, formerly going by Zee Metallium -- joined the boards under her nickname, Xee, and posted an introduction message. (Xei changed her spelling to her current name after some kerfluffling.)

(The intro post is now gone; it was deleted, although older posts remained, it was just Xei's intro post that was gone, and then a bit later, a mod makes a post stating that all old introductions will be deleted to clear up room, and all the older ones, poof.)

( And the fun and games begin! )

Is it over? Will Xei get banned? Will the mods calm down? Will the Runic Alphabet determine the fate of the world and whether we all live or die? Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of As The Wank Turns!

Edited to Add: (6-29-03) ( Additional information that wasn't available at the time of original posting. )

9:11pm: Ummm... Fresh wank.
Yes, it's another lurker/commenter/plebe posting their first wank. I'm Nekoneko, or Neko^2, and my specialty is finding the anime/manga wank. Not like it's that hard to find, or anything. Anyway, onto the wank!

I've recently joined http://www.go-gaia.com, since I heard some interesting things about it, and I found a nice, steaming thirty-seven pages of wank right off the bat in the anime/manga discussion board.
why is there so much gayness in anime?

As if the title isn't bad enough.
Some of the memorable comments:
Japan specializes in wrong. Just accept it and move on.Dicknipple hentai wasn't created in the USA, that's for damned sure.

ok now you guys asked for it, what is the point of sex? to make babies, only though culture and society its been a good feeling act, its even being called making love for sluts who want to have sex, sex is an action to have kids, homosexuality is not natural because its not found in nature, i dont see dogs prefering guy dogs, or 2 gay hamsters. its a fad, for the sick, its not in nature or religion and is as natural as plastic. its the wrong time to teach sexual freedom with so many std out there. thinking it is one thing and doing it is something else. i dont believe that you can have been born a guy in a girls body, i think its a form of retardation, its not also being open, its as right as a 60 year old man wanting to have sex with a willing 10 year old. this wold is so screwed that no one knows who or what they are anymore. so back to the topic, most anime is not rated yet does say what situations there are but showing these guys wanting to be with eachother sexualy is nasty....

, sex is only to make kids, its not to show love, sex is an action, you can use it with the combination of love but its not making it, love is love and sex is sex, sex a has a perpose. by ion one is personally my favorite...

9:40pm: That's what we need! A holiday! That'll make everything better!
Yes. "International Day of Slash".

The brainchild of Matthew Time.

It has recently come to my attention that though the slash genre is already decades old there is no fandom-recognized holiday. It would be beneficial to the community to have a day in recognition of our peculiar fandom, and thus was born...

July 1st, International Day of Slash

It's a very personal holiday - a chance to write, illustrate, and send greetings to one other within the community.

It will help unite us.

Yes, because it's so remarkably easy to get fandom to agree on anything.

What kills me is that people actually think this is a good idea.

Who wants to suggest the holiday to Hallmark?