Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:40am: blasphemy r so kewl!!!!1111 I masturb8 with a crucifix!!!!1111
(WARNING: Possibly not wank.)

Here are some gems that come from a community called Jesus Loves Me where a bunch of Satanists and/or Atheists make "clever" comments that makes them so "blasphemous."

Like this guy here who Masturbates with a crucifix.

Or this chick here who writes goth poetry.

Or this guy who says Buddists or Mormons did that WTC shit.

Personally, I feel like this is very weak blasphemy. But they seem so damn proud of themselves. :-)

12:08pm: I am (slightly ashamed to admit) a member of MerryPippin, a pairing-specific mailing list on Yahoo! Groups. A post came through last night that struck me as wanky, so I thought I'd toss it up for comment.

( Cutting for length, editing for anonymity )

And of course, this whine is getting onlist replies reassuring her that the fic does not suck and the review is obviously the work of some jealous, EVIL flamer.

So. Wanky: yes/no?

1:29pm: Send Your Wank
Sting/Police fandom has to erupt in fresh wank every few months. I could resist sharing this one no longer.

The stage is set when an mp3 of Sting's new single, "Send Your Love" (not to be confused with "Sending Our Love Down the Well" from The Simpsons many years back), starts spreading around P2P-land. Is it the actual album cut, a single edit, or a 3rd-party remix? No one knows for sure. No one really seems to care. They just want to wank all over the place about it. Between those who want to call him a greedy sell-out for "going techno" to those who will defend him blindly to those who mock the blind followers, it's all just too over-the-top to believe.

Just a few prime quotes:

"We didn't want limericks from Hemingway. We don't want pornography from Kurt Vonnegut. And we don't want techno from Sting."

"OK, it's crap... But come on, IT'S STING'S CRAP! ;-)"

"Looks as though a beaver has taken on the role of blind loyalist defender, ready to attack any negative opinion that makes it way into it's world filled with notions of Sting as a "genius". How sweet. "</i>

"It is superb!
A journey ,a fly on top of some magic tapestry!"

"I may have to become a U2 fan................ :("

As if all that wasn't enough, a beautifully wank-worthy excerpt from Sting's upcoming biography shows up, threatening to set off a whole new wave of pain. Oooooh, looks like it's going to be a very fun few months.

8:39pm: God's special people.
Harry Potter fandom, you belong on the short bus.

Bilbo Baggins, aka Adolfa posts at FAP. Apparently, redeemed!Draco is boring:

Yes, [the Malfoys] murder. Yes, they do practise genocide. Is it a crime? Yes, yes, it certainly is. But not in their eyes. And just because the rest of the world thinks there's something wrong with seeing through those eyes and therefore wants Draco to be redeemed, that doesn't mean it really is wrong.

Pepper Imp (pepper_imp) takes issue with this sort of thing eight posts down the page, and invokes Godwin's law (EDIT: It has been pointed out that this is not Godwin's law. Am dork! Still, nice and integral to the great Circle of Wank, and a good argument as well.):

Are you really looking to be a Nazi apologist? Because that's what you sound like.

Faith_Accompli (faith_accompli) jumps in and regales us with her wit in the next post:

No, you poxy slag, it's obvious that it's a bloody crime but they happen to do it anyway 'cos they think it's like putting down a mad dog.

Bilbo Baggins/Adolfa feels her honor has been impugned. [EDIT: And she has LOCKED HER JOURNAL! To all who missed it, Adolfa posted an open letter to Pepper_Imp, telling him/her/it off and to take Adolfa off her friendslist. Interestingly enough, now that it's friendslocked (I assume) PI can no longer read it. Sweet, sweet wankery.] [EDIT AGAIN: I just can't keep up with the backpeddling. Behold the wank. Again.]

And apparently it's all down to what appears to be a rather scathing review that Pepper_Imp gave for Faith_Accompli's fic, Walking Higher. Faith_Accompli seems to refer to the review in her FAP post and no one can seem to let go of it.

Wank she sang to me... wank she brang to me...

11:17pm: Not fandom, but minorly wanky.

Someone in quotes gets pissed off at people who don't use lj-cuts.

Other people tell her she could have been a bit nicer.

See her go insane, complete with calling them communists! (A couple of notches under the nazi level, but, close enough.)

ETA: She disabled comments, and now all the lovely wank is gone. Wimp.

ETA2: It appears that the poster didn't disable comments. The moderator disabled them on the entire community. Overkill much?