Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

4:37am: Mild, fat-free wank
What started out as a fairly innocuous thread on AMM (that last great bastion of the deranged) has now devolved into speculations about Davy Jones' drinking habits and whether or not he was seen "hung over" and definitions of typical alcoholic attributes and examples of why Mr. Jones meets and/or exceeds them. Then Jan, champion of all things Midget, chimes in with "no recovering alcoholic has the right to preach to, nag at, or go to a sleazy tabloid to expose a friend or acquaintence because they still drink and the alcoholic feels he cannot". Then it goes on to revelations about the Manchester Midget's alleged drunk driving.

(This is, for those of you outside the fandom, a very common thing on this particular newsgroup--whilst fans of individual Monkees get along pretty well elsewhere, on AMM the Davybabies do not consort with the proto-hippy-snobby Torkaholics, and the Torkaholics do not associate with the egotistical, height-challenged Davybabies. Nezheads like me sit back, have a cognac, and chuckle at the whole mess.)

37 posts long and still running. I predict triple digits before it peters out (bad pun intended).

1:08pm: New HP wank?
I'm not in the fandom, but there've been murmurings about new HP wank brewing involving secret posts being leaked and dramatic withdrawals from conventions. Anyone in the know have specific info/links?

During a conversation over the weekend, I decided that f_w is my new fandom.

2:32pm: supplemental reading: 30 years of comics wank...
...neatly summarized courtesy of the Village Voice in an article about Fantagraphics' current (latest) troubles:

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0328/press.php

If you ever want a good hip-deep wade in wank (ew!), track down the book cited here about Harlan Ellison. Or the issue of The Comics Journal detailing the Michael Fleisher lawsuit. Or any issue of TCJ, really.

2:33pm: Since there was a request below, the links to the latest HP wank:

Aja posts that "anyone who has lost respect for me because of something I've said or things they've seen over the last few days: I just want to say that I understand, and if any of you want to stop considering me a friend or defriend me, there'll be no hard feelings on my part." Nice and vague, no? She then goes on to say that her "privacy has been invaded" and she doesn't want to drag stuff out in public.

Bonibaru posts to say that Aja emailed her to accuse her of hacking Aja's journal and spreading a private post about. She denies doing it, saying that her computer skills barely allow her to find her computer's "on" button. [ETA: This post is now friendslocked, but you can read Aja's response if you're so inclined.]

Ivy Blossom then posts saying that someone made death threats against her in a private post, and she no longer feels safe in going to Nimbus 2003 (The HP gathering thingie planned for later this month.) Everyone and their dog posts in support.

Aja fights back by saying that Ivy had planned to cancel her trip anyway because Bonibaru wasn't going. Also, by letting people know that she CRIED, you heartless bastards! And she said she was sorry, in a vague and roundabout fashion! What has she done to deserve your cruelty?

The fun never stops here in HP fandom.

ETA: Apparently the "death threat" post was a parody, a tidbit of info that got left out of all previous public mentions. The text of it is here.

3:56pm: Animal wank
Not fandom, but wankful enough.

Vile_organizm appears to be choking his cat. He posts about it. Wank ensues.

Edit: Friends locked already. That was quick.
Double-edit: It's back. Make up your mind, already.