Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

2:02pm: Clay Aiken Wank Gets Media Attention!
The Smoking Gun is now reporting about a snail mail flame war that Clay Aiken fanatics have launched against the FCC. Says TSG:

You'll find an entertaining assortment of those letters, many of which include nasty swipes about Studdard's weight and the prodigious amount of flop sweat that pours forth as he croons. As one writer concluded, "something stinks here and it's not Rubens sweaty 205 jersey." But in case you think all the missives were coming from miffed teenyboppers, we've included letters from a chemical engineer and a 56-year-old Colorado businesswoman.

Man, these letters are HYSTERICAL. And. Um. Not making entirely erroneous claims. *cough*.

You can read them all here.

2:23pm: (Creepy) Hilary Duff fans unite!
So, today I stumbled upon one of the scariest forums I've ever seen: Hilarynet. Hundreds of long-ass threads on stuff like this nine-pager on her teeth, which then goes on to talk about sex and such. It's spooky.

But the grand master of them all from what I've found is this one wonderful little ditty. See, some idiot posts regarding this picture:

hi im a or me as u may no
if u click on da link on da main site 2 hils new cd site u will c a pic of her lyin on da ground
is dat shirt c thru cuz i think i kinda c her nipples
but im not tryin 2 b nasty here or in my other post i just am curious dats all


TWENTY-SIX PAGES of pure, unadulterated wank ensues, including, among many other things, a guy with this extended poem on how much he adores Hilary in his signature who gets on anyone who even says the word "nipples" or "breasts"'s case, and complete topic-of-conversation whiplash every page or two. It's beautiful.

4:06pm: You shouldn't even THINK about rape!
Once upon a time, X-Philes were among the wankiest fans to ever walk the face of Fandom. When the show ended, the wank died down quite a bit. But never fear! Wank will always rear its head wherever Philes gather.

( A little background... )

In the Haven's Fic folder, it's customary to start threads devoted to the BNF's latest fics. One of these threads was recently started for Syntax6's new story, Split the Lark. Uh oh. Poor Syn has written a story in which Scully is raped! ::gasp:: And here our wankiness begins.

Marvel at Noromo, who's looking for warning labels because why "risk wasting time with a story where anything S8/9-related makes an appearence!"

Weep with AprilakaMsAM, who is "tricked into reading rapefic...you'd be upset too!"

Tremble as the "deeply paranoid" annaK fears she "may not survive the onslought" of a possible character death!

Sympathize with the author, her beta and the mods, who try to explain that it's not a trick, it's not a WIP, and if you can't handle rape in a well-written fic, it's okay not to read it! And it's okay to write about things that other people don't like! Really!

Boggle as another author, Bonetree, is taken to task for daring to write a rape (which she warned the readers about IN THE HEADERS) into a story from three years ago!

Endure as the tales of "my friend was raped" and "I just saw a woman who was raped" are trotted out to explain why no one should EVER, EVER, EVER use rape as a "plot device" in a story. 'Cause it's a bad thing, mmmkay?

As one of the thread participants said to me: "I mean honestly! Those of us who've BEEN through this experience aren't as bent out of shape about this as these people who have "friends" or "patients" who have. Jeeeeeezzzz!!! LIGHTEN UP, everyone! You're going to get a nosebleed up there on that high horse."

Oh, my lovely fandom. You can still wank with the best of them.

10:39pm: More wank from the wankiest Sonic yaoi list to ever wank!
Over on GameFAQs, they're having a summer contest wherein people vote on who would win in a fight between two game characters. The current poll is Auron (from FFX) versus Tails. Some of the list members post to Love's Secret Domain to encourage people to vote for Tails... some go beyond encouraging to DEMANDING people vote for him.
Several people, myself included, point out that as neat as Tails is, in this fight he'd be fox-kabobs.
Miles Prower posts with this fascinating and well-thought rejoinder:

What kind of idiots are you? Is this an Auron yaoi site? I don't
even know who the fuck Auron is! You should be ashamed for not
voting for Tails. I don't feel pity for you, nor any bit of
friendship either. What losers! You really piss me off.

Someone's already agreed with him. I'm gonna try and stay out of it, but I see further incoming wank. Please, people, enjoy.