Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:38am: This will never stop being funny.
Remember the recent HP wank, where one member of the fandom believed her life was threatened by another? It seems one side is still insisting there's a real threat, despite that the one "threatened" isn't even attending. But of course they are. Why admit you look stupid when you can just blame someone else!

2:28am: The wank is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE
Over the ages, there has been much debate about what is wanky.

For example, a person you dislike intensely begs to know why, oh why, you hate her so. People respond, some politely, some less so. Wanky? You bet. On both sides. I participated. Not one of my more shining moments, but hey! We all have them.

The offended person posts her own wank to F_W. Odd, but fair enough, I suppose. This is the place for wank, even if it's your own.

But then, someone responds to the wankee with something she doesn't like, i.e., a verifiable fact about her shoddy behavior, which said wankee has been ignoring. The wankee then turns off commenting. In F_W.

This is like, the best meta-wank EVER.

(Edited to correct my awful spelling)

(Further edited: Apparently, turning off comments was a mistake. Okay!)

3:46pm: Beating dead horsemeat
I'm not sure if baseball is really f_w material, but I've seen pro wrestling stuff here before, and this is exceptionally strange and wanky.

Clutch Hits is a baseball weblog. Someone posted a link to this bizarre story about a baseball player hitting a mascot in a sausage costume.

There's a bit of argument in the comments over whether this was funny or reprehensible, but the wank really starts when someone posts the following:

He HIT A TEENAGE GIRL WITH A BAT. It doesn't matter how "hard" he swung the thing. Doesn't matter where he hit her. Doesn't matter how badly she was hurt. A GROWN MAN HIT A TEENAGE GIRL WITH A BAT.

Baseball should suspend him for a very long time. The players' union should turn their back when asked to appeal.

Wank ensues as people point out that hitting non-teenage non-girls isn't any more acceptable.

300+ posts, and it's still going on.

3:57pm: The wank never ends!
Just a minor update (yet again!) about the Yahoo Sonic Yaoi list...

The aforementioned argument about the "Auron vs. Tails" fight (which is indeed ridiculousness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows) has degenerated into the webmaster whining, bitching, griping, and finally, pouting and conceding because people aren't posting replies at the BOTTOM of reply-threads!

Well, shock and fucking horror! That just ruins MY day, I can tell ya that! I can't believe the world is so cruel and unfair and fascist that I have to sit and watch top-posted replies in the safety of my own bedroom... Next thing you know, I'll be forcibly subjected to heterosexuality and fanfics that aren't script-based in format...

Jeezy Creezy... >

7:14pm: Ooooookay then.
My brain hurts.

Someone starts a gag topic on the GameFAQs forums, asking who among the posters says "ass" instead of "donkey." This is done entirely to prove that the forum does allow the word "ass" in topic titles.

On page two, the thread is declared offensive to Donkey Kong.

And there is argument.

Only three pages of posts, and the wank doesn't start until two, so it's not exactly one of the massive wankfests we often see, but the sheer idiocy of it boggles the mind.