Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

2:58am: Elfwood's a fandom, right? If not I'll move this sucker
Elfwood wank.

First we've got someone asking how mod's choice works. They end it on saying that whenever they post a pic they just know they'll get chosen. S'all good.

Few polite comments.

Then we get this:

"You are so egotistical." "Well, you're allowed your opinion but I find it a little off.." "Sure, defend your little friend and get all bitchy and whinny" "I don't even know her! Stop cursing at me!" "HAH. GO REPORT ME WHY DON'T YOU" "I'm a mod" "..."

Oh, there's comments from the mod about how the complaining person's art is only getting attention because anime is in fashion.

Is it just me or do you lose the argument the section you write something like: "*laughs in your face*"?

Also, the artist's reply post is one huge freaking paragaph so I'm not summarizing it kthnx.

4:48am: Okay!
Classic 'I'm better than you' wank! She has some points but... "I'll publish my short stories, eventually my novels, and turn into the kind of writer the gets horrible bad-porn fic written about her characters. And if I see ANY of that, I will hunt you down and prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law."

All I have to say to her is, okay!

10:13am: As promised, here's the wanktastic response from cuntface the alleged philosopher.


At 02:01 PM 8/12/03 +0100, you wrote:
> Having stumbled across your timewasters anonymous piece,

Oh, I very much doubt that. I rather think that you lot are obsessively fuming over it - aren't I correct? Be honest now; I *know* the truth, after all, the numbers are there.

You say you can't stand idiots on your ffnet page - so how do you put up with yourself, eh? I came across your name several times while researching the FW, and not once did your posts impress me with any measure of intelligence. If you've got it, you're doing a good job of hiding it, along with any writing talents. Your canon-free, er, "humour" stories are at best dull and clunky, and in some places the sentences are completely ungrammatical and incoherent. And by associating yourself with a community that exists only for the purpose of mocking others, *you* made yourself a legitimate target.

But keep on screeching, do - it only demonstrates what I set out to prove: that FW can't *take* what it dishes out, oh no, and that all this "have a sense of humour else be mocked" is something none of you is prepared to accept for yourselves. (And that you're a bunch of self-important buffoons whose opinions no one should take seriously.) The more you all shout and stamp, and make wild conspiracy claims and projections, the more you prove yourselves to be the fools I named you.

P@L

--Oh, and do get a beta reader to help with those tricky bits like singular vs. plural and phrases that terminate meaninglessly in adjectives, at least. Such as:

"One of these was a tendency of gravitating towards attractive younger female."

If you were trying for a dry witty tone, you could have written "towards the attractive younger female" (though that would require reworking the rest of the prose to match) but ordinarily the plural should take an "s" at the end in English.

"He drummed his fingers on the arm of his throne, a the click of his fingernails against the bony resonating in the empty hall."

Is it "a click" or "the click" now?

And against the bony resonating *what* exactly? Or was there supposed to be a noun between "bony" and "resonating" instead? True, "resonating" *can* be used as a subject or object, (i.e., "the resonating of the gong gave him a headache") but not in this situation.

--Er, what exactly was I supposed to be respecting you for, now? It isn't like there was any perceptible *point* to the stories any more than to your posts, after all.

>I'd like to inform you that you're exceptionally misguided. Us down at Fandom wank take the piss out of nitty picky stuff, but I think that all of us are willing to admit that we ourselves are all aware that we're a fairly wanky lot ourselves. You claim to be above all this, yet you've clearly gone through a lot of time and effort to construct a rather offensive and judgemental piece of crap which I can see no other reason for other than as a tool of attention seeking whinginess.

1:15pm: RapeFic! Wank! I did miss it so...
My first report. My f_w cherry has been popped!

kittydesade thinks that everytime you write your kink, God kills a kitten. There's nothing new here, except for maybe the Tom Stoppard quote used so far out of context it makes me hurt on the inside.

But the real fun doesn't start until she posts links to her rant in random lj slash communities.

So far, everyone's been almost deceptively nice... But the wank is yet young.

EDIT: I just realized that this was already posted further down. *blushblush* So~rry.

2:05pm: Classic! Icon wank.

ok... liek im not rlly stealin nething bcz teh person who made this icon stole it from teh original artist so y dont u all stfu and stop lvin gay comments in mah journal homofags!!!111!!1!1

Note: All parties are being wanky, yes. I was choosing to focus on the poster's point of view rather than all sides. I'm just going to say it's wank and leave it at that.

6:15pm: Ah, Boondocks Feed...
Well and truly do you provide the wank.

So, we start with a cartoon about gay marriage

Before long, we get into overpopulation, grammar and math, evolution, and whether or not it's stale to complain about the staleness of the Kobe jokes.

Big and amazing wank? No. But I think it's a little bit like a quiet visit from an old friend. Consider it cleanser. Of the Kobe-free variety.

10:33pm: Get out your violins, kiddies. No, no, the SMALLEST ones.
Setting... a quiet game on the internet. People are enjoying themselves roleplaying, or just hanging out chatting.

Suddenly... there's an outburst on the public channel, oh no! Wank ensues!
(I am Yunalesca.)

[Public] Mehka says, "Are people always so rude...?! I'm the new guy in town and I ask how the fish'r bitin'!! And not only do I not get directions, they walk away without ever giving hint of care whether you live or die! Bai the gods, in Alexandria, we'd have a welcoming party for anybody willing to stay in our secluded city for more than a day or so..."( WAH! I'm not arguing with you! BUT I am! )