Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

11:57am: Wank in aisle 4!
First f_w post ever. W00t. *clears throat nervously*

So! Werily, did somebody post a frustrated rant by Joan Milligan to f_w, and lo, were there a lot of comments by f_w'ers saying, "yo, this is not really a wank", and, verily and forsooth, it was a pretty boring wank as wanks go.

And then, just as the wank was about to sink into obscurity forevermore, who was to appear on the horizon but the internet's own Matt Nute, out to revive the thread in absolute top form by means of a gloriously inappropriate, condescending, and insulting pop-psych analysis, complete with snotty line-by-line quoted refutations!

Highlights:
"
Well, if you mean space travel, I'm glad you believe. You've got 30-plus years of history backing you up. I believe the wheel is round and fire is hot, too, but I don't feel the need to shout it to the heavens."

"Look up the definition of "psychotic" in a medical text sometime. I'll sum up: A person plagued by gross impairment in reality testing as evidenced by delusions, hallucinations, markedly incoherent speech or disorganised and agitated behavior without apparent awareness on the part of the patient of the incomprehensibility of his behavior."


Way to go, Nute! Bully that agitated teenager! Spice up that wank!

5:36pm: HP wank for the 34864909 time
And I was the first to comment! Yes I know that this makes me wank particpant, but honestly, this was too good to pass up. Ok this personwanker is calling themselves violator_lurks And they seem to think that our favorite watchful_enity was disturbed and claims to have posted in their journal. o.O BNF's friended are some of the usual and a few of the not so BNF's too. I'm wondering about this one. A lot of those people are on my friends list.

( Look! )

7:13pm: "Curtain up! Light the lights! Wank it, boys!"
The Bernadette Peters Message Forums are usually a place of sunshine and Santa Claus (in an entirely harmless and fluffy way), complete with generous exclamation point usage, and more avatars of the redheaded diva than you could shake a bowl of Chow Mein at. However, there is trouble in Peters paradise when someone suggests a scrapbook of her turn in Gypsy be created.

It spawns seven pages of squabble, which quickly turn from discussion over the design of the scrapbook, to musings on the ethics of giving the message board URL to the star along with the scrapbook. When speculations start flying over Peters's reaction to threads of a "questionable nature" (e.g. her dress size, salary, former flings), the user Bwaybaby, also apparently supposed to be personable with Peters in real life, points out that no one can determine Peters's reaction but Peters herself.

Some find this to be self-back-patting, especially Jenny_loves_Bernadette. One of the more satisfying, and unaltered, nuggets from Jenny: "I looked at this thrad expecting to have seen some very long winded reply from you - you did not disappoint. I guess i don't agree with you about anything but I really am irratating by the inflated self-importance that seems to taint your messages."

I guess she really is "irratating," because her misspelled snit sends Bwaybaby off the boards, in one of those infamously angsty fandom "exits."

As a grand finale, the web site administrator, Kevin, posts one last thread clearing things up. Or at least informs everyone that the weather is really, really great in Jersey.

Is this the part where I ask for mercy on my first wank? *cough*