Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:05am: He's like Osama, in a way
From Yahoo News:

NEW YORK - R. Kelly, who gained fame with songs such as "I Believe I Can Fly," now compares himself to Osama bin Laden.

The R&B singer was indicted last year on child pornography charges after a videotape purportedly showed him having sex with an underage girl. Kelly, who's free on bond, has denied the charges.

"People can say whatever they want about you without knowing the facts," Kelly tells Blender magazine in its October issue. "They can criticize you without even knowing you, and hate you when they don't even know you. All of a sudden, you're, like, the bin Laden of America. Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."

But he's kept himself busy in the recording studio for the past six months, and says song ideas come to him in the kitchen, on the basketball court, everywhere.

"I love music, and music loves me back. We're kind of married, and I'm pregnant by music," the 36-year-old says. "I have three to four years' worth of work you've never heard in the vaults. I've come up with at least 20 to 25 albums."


*cough*. Oh, dear me. R.Kelly/music MPREG? Who'da thunk!

And, more wank can be found on the always entertaining Yahoo message boards.

10:39am: :stretches wank muscles: Wow, there might be something to said about getting up at arse 'o clock in the morning. Early bird catches the wank or something.

But I digress. It would seem that Popslash is about implode. Again.

Backstory goes like so: Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez are the golden boys of Nsync right. Justin has been out touring and promoting his album Justified. His bandmate JC has been recording an album. The album keeps getting put back. The fans are getting a wee bit pissy about this and various rumours and gossip has been bouncing around the fandom.

Step up Sleepygirl. Sleepygirl posts an entry saying that JC album has been put back because La Timberlake wants to do a club tour and Jive [their record label] has decided that they don't have enough money to support them both. And she knows this from "her sources".

And the wank ensues. Check the comments. The Justin-haters are ready to skin him alive for fucking up JC's album, the voice of logic are starting to stir and point out that Justin doesn't have that kinda of clout and that a record lable like Jive has more than just the Golden Boys of Nsync on their books and can probably afford to do both tours etc. I expect they'll be ignored as why let logic get in the way of a good rumour.

The ripples are already hitting my friends list, so no doubt there'll be some editing later to provide more wank. Meanwhile, I got some popcorn to make.

12:45pm: "DIE YOU FAT PIG! I WISH CANCER UPON YOU!"
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Vinnie. One day, Vinnie made a movie. And I mean, REALLY made a movie. He, like, directed it, wrote it, starred in it, produced it, did music for it, did the cinematography, edited it, casted it, did the production design, art direction, set decoration, costume design, art, sound, and color timing. Plus, he fired Winnona Ryder and Kirsten Dunst from his set.

And people thought his movie sucked...

This made the little boy sad, because nobody likes his movies or understands how deeply he loves bunnies...

"When I see bunnies on the golf course, or in the backyard, I feel that's a safe place. I'm in love with those animals, even in a carnivorous way. They're my favorite meat."

Anyway, Vinnie was so upset about the reception of the movie that he eventually said he was sorry and said he'd never make movies again</i>.

Then along came a fat kid named Roger and Roger said that the movie really sucked.

This got Vinnie so mad that he said Fuck you, I never apologized. I have cursed your colon and now you will die! There were also some comments along the lines of "Roger Ebert may have a black wife, and that's ironic because he has the physique of a slave trader."

During a scene where Gallo shares a bicycle with a young woman, I became so nostalgic for "Butch Cassidy" that I softly sang "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head." I stopped after six words when my wife jabbed me in the ribs. I was overheard by a writer for Hollywood Reporter, who included it in his coverage about how badly the film was received, and that is another reason Gallo has put the heebie-jeebie on my colon and prostate. I am not too worried. I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than "The Brown Bunny."

...

Gallo all but wept in a Cannes interview as he described the pain of "growing up ugly," but empathy has its limits, and he had no tears for a fat pig and slave-trader such as myself. It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of "The Brown Bunny."

But I don't think the little boy will give up. After all, there's always the Villiage Voice who'll tell you that you're great for fighting conventional film making. Because the movies need less films about explosions and more films about people riding around the desert for hours doing nothing... and 8-minute long blow-job scenes.

1:02pm: LJ feed
I had a vague feeling that I remembered someone coming up with a work-round for LJ banning the f_w feeds, by putting the feed through another blog. However, I hunted through the archive and couldn't find anything. Anyone know the name of the appropriate LJ feed?

2:08pm: We are not elitist bitches! Watch us make private journals and communities to make fun of people to prove it!