Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:32am: *sniffs* Ahh some good old-fashioned Gundam Wing wank
Ok as you learned from Cyrelia who posted here, this took place on GWML(where you could once set your watch to the wanky posts). It simmered over months then suddenly exploded so i've tried to cut it down to the best parts.
It started out as just a discussion of I like relena because of *fill in the blank* and I dislike relena beacause *fill in the blank*
( wank in 3. 2. 1. ) ( slight case of mistaken identity here )

7:19am: While bumming around LJ looking for a good wank, I found one. At least I think I found one, this is my first time posting. Apparently the Queen of All that is Evil stole Hunnybunch's icon. Not about to let this rest, she vents on the Blinkilicious community where they proceed to bash (and wank) the Queen of All that is Evil into next year. (The funniest part seems to be that the Queen herself never shows up and they just wank on and on...and on about her.) Read all about it here.

2:34pm: Pop! Goes the Weasel
Ahhh, the benefits of diversifying one's friends list.

Y'all remember the wank about how Justin Timberlake was totally making Jive Records sabotage poor, poor JC Chasez's solo career? I couldn't find it in the archives, but this one is pretty infamous, and the resentment and anger has clearly been percolating for a while.

without_me concludes that the problem is that there are just way too many shit-stirring, disingenuous bitches in the popslash fandom (as opposed to, say, the warm, friendly, lovingness of every other fandom-- and excluding herself and everyone she likes, of course!) and has a few suggestions, or rather, some "modest proposals" (GEDDIT?!?! GEDDIT!??! OMG!!!@#!!!!! WITHOUT_ME DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DONT THINK THAT'S FUNNEH!???!?!) One of them is to "name names" when stirring shit up. Which, you'll notice, she actually doesn't name any. And no, "embitca, et al" does not actually count as a list, sorry.

So, call me crazy, but she may have been talking about her favorite stalking subject sekrit crush self-appointed rival popslash acquaintance, embitca, specifically about these posts, and possibly about this post by another one of without_me's (*cough*) favorite people.

For no apparent reason, kittenfishlambs takes one of embitca's posts extremely personally</b>, but gets put in her place rightquick. As the boys in O-Town would say, "Snaps!"

lain7 weighs in, basically giving W_M the old "you started it with your nonsensical totally paranoid Justin Timberlake bashing, bitch" stand-by, and in the process may have actually become my new favorite person. ETA: thanks to allen, we now have kirsch publically calling w_m out on her hypocrisy, speaking as a card carrying member of "embitca, et al". Hee!

And the moral of the story is: Popslashers are mean, yo. (Just like Justin Timberlake, I hear!) Makes a girl totally lose her shit in public.

BTW, I was thinking about posting some of my own popslash. It's Dominatrix!Beyonce dressing up as Joey Fatone and enslaving all of the Backstreet Boys and forcing them to service Eminem day in, day out. Do you guys think that'll go over good with these girls?

4:10pm: And the winner is ...
Everwood just had its first fanfic awards.

misswindy explains why they suck.

5:55pm: Dragonriders of Pern wank
Hi, obligatory mouthings about first post, many thanks to amasaglajax for giving me a code, etc., etc.

This wank is a couple of weeks old, but it's still a good one, and it's guaranteed to flare back up again. I was hesitant to post it because Pern fandom has a few solid decades of wank behind it, and there's no way I can adequately sum up to the uninitiated just how much spooge has been flung around this fandom.

Why am I still in it? First, I like to think that I inhabit the mostly sane corner, and second, there's an unending supply of dancing monkeys to entertain me.

( Some backstory )

( And now, the wank. )

6:21pm: But I meant "skank" in a nice way!
Apparently calling someone a "snotty little skank" in a community really sets said community off.

This has to be one of the longest wanks I've ever seen. I'll try to give a little background (a friend referred me to this community when I told him I was on FW).

There's this community called wpr_bitches (wpr = web page review). It also seems to be one of the most volitile communities out there. And everyone hates Wethril who claims that a lot of people use her codes. So what happens when Wethril shows up in her own wank? An astonishing total of 167 comments.

Wade into the sea of wank at your own risk. There are no lifeguards on duty.