Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

11:08am: it's about how she is such a good wee fan, so I dub it fandom
I am a Johnny Depp fan. Instead of just saying this, I will explain it to you. In detail. Also, new fans suxxors.

I actually confess this isn't the first place I saw her little piece. It was in the depp_daily community, which I subscribe to for the picspam, obviously. I found the johnny_depp one from someone else's rant. Ahem.

Her disclaimer:

"A paragraph or so of opinions concerning Mr. Depp and his fandom. Caution- it is unadvisable for you to continue if you do not appreciate the right of someone to a personal opinion. Please do not read if you are easily offended and not a loyal fan, for I can bide no inane chatter aka flames in response. Perhaps some will find it harsh, but reality often is."

Second verse, same as the first. I only noticed this because the first time I saw it, it was breaking community rules. And this little exchange in the comments:

elite: "PS: The movie was doomed to be mainstream from the beginning, you know. It was a big-budget Disney film with a Lord Of The Rings actor starring."
judas_iscariot: "Response to P.S. Yeah, I know, I know... but somehow it still saddens me that it attracted so many of the faithless sheep."

Man, fuck Elijah Wood. Depp's our new wacky Jesus. I am way too amused at the comments in relation to the usernames.

12:00pm: MST3K mini-wank
MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000, for the non-initiated) wank is blessedly few and far between. **knocks on wood** However, it has popped up in the past, and I'm sure every fandom has its share of the loonies. Witness this post, wherein a sound and sane MST3K fan accidentally discovers a side of the fandom that many MiSTies (myself included) are unaware of: Joel pr0n!

4:16pm: Rockin' Robin
Damn, and here I thought the "Bale as Batman" thread on Superherohype.com was a wanknutfest. It pales in comparison to this Robin casting thread. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

But "Batman: Intimidation Game" director Chris Nolan and "Evil Dead" star Bill Campbell make memorable appearances ... just not in the way you might think.

8:00pm: sepiamagpie found and posted a wank that looks much like lotr wank if you squint, only it's about johnny depp. ('i've been a fan since the age of FIVE!')

she's back, with the same bad spelling/grammar, and a BIGGER FONT!

( highlights include: )

are we SURE she's not a troll? reads like a troll who's trying too hard, or are wankers receiving bonus points for shakespearean language now ('mongrel'? wtf)?

8:24pm: Damn dirty fantasy readers!
I swear, childfree is the wankiest community that ever did wank.

Today, the_faery_queen posts a rant about how she's tired of fantasy novels that end with marriage and kids for the main characters.

rwanat jumps in and informs us all that "the majority of people who read fantasy fiction are losers" and the original poster should "quit reading that shit and read real books".

And the wank hits the fan, so to speak. It's not a huge wank yet, but what's there is pure trolly goodness.

10:47pm: First post
Hi. I'm Sara, and I was around when FW was on LJ...a long time ago. I just recently got a JF code (thanks, Allen!) so I could join again. XD

This bit of wank is from last month, but man, is it ever wanky. (Apologies if this has already been posted, or posting older stuff's frowned upon)

You took the piss outta my fanfic, so you're an idiot! Oh, and 8 people before you loved my fic, so that means you're WRONG and unpopular and STUPID for not agreeing with the crowd! OMG LOL WTF!!