Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:27am: Incoherawank.
First we have this lovely bit of incoherency. As much as I could tell from his constant use of ... inbetween every few words and a lot of stuff about Cherokees (He wants Liv Tyler to play one. This makes my head hurt in many different ways). Anyway. The wank seems to be him, his hand and Liv Tyler.

There's some normal happy talk and then comes perian22, who says: I hate Arwen. Have you ever read the LOTR books? They got her hair wrong. The only dark haired elves came from a small forest in beleriad and have been wiped out since the first age . (he rants further and gives me the mental image of Arwen standing at Helm's Deep going: "And I wasn't even supposed to BE HERE TODAY"

I have no idea what this says.

Perian22 responds going: "i see what your saying about the Nunehi and some of them haveing black hair but in Tolkeins world there were only a few and Arwen was not of their line. I just pay way to much atention to detail."

Em2Blue shows up first Arwen is not an elf, but an elfriend. Then becomes the Elf King. Em2Blue is pleased to have gotten it all straightened out.


and then this guy corrects everybody. Politely. Damnit.

4:12am: 1-up, please.
Ahhh Super Mario fandom wank, so rare and precious! Or rather, very common, but rarely so AMUSING.

So MoonEye821 makes a short and strange newbie post which is IMO overreacted to by the Mushroom Kingdom forum in general. Spelling is nitpicked, threats to overthrow the group are taken far too seriously, someone's Christianity is brought up for no reason, etc. Birdo makes an unknowingly hilarious attempt at smacking him down:

Err.. i asked "WHERE" are the other eighthundred-twenty mooneyes, not whether are not they are faild revisions of yourself, and revisions can only be made off of the origional model or a previous number, so you would be a revision of mooneye820 and have no revisions of yourself. Unless, of course, you are an obsolete failure that has not been disposed of. Still, the first 820 could not have been revised off of the 821st who came after them. Your explaination has absolutely no logic or reason or relevancy to my question, and your spelling is abysmal.

Unfortunately MoonEye has to go and prove the wankers right by then posting many poorly-spelled, delusional threads:

A good point about attacking spelling which sadly I can't take at all seriously, because I can't read it. The wank from both sides flies all over the place. Also, what the hell kind of mod asks the other posters whether she should do her damn job or not?

MoonEye invites other specific posters to join his great revolution of the forums, once again in an unreadable manner. Contains the wonderful "IT'S MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO MAKE THREADS HAHAHA NOW I MAKE TWO MORE YOU MADE ME DO IT SUCKER" However, the best part is once again Birdo's pseudointellectualism, especially since he revives the thread 4 days later to post it:

I foster the most terrible animosity towards you, mooneye, and The world would be exponetally better without you and your fellow star wars nerds. I should rather say dorks or geeks than nerds, as nerds are often smart and end up like William Gates, you, however will either end up in prision, dead, selling burgers, or hiding in the corner of your padded room muttering threats to such foods as baby corn.

Something about "William Gates" really cracks me up, there. It's like those fic writers who call Buffy "Elizabeth" because they know where the nickname derives from, despite the fact that nobody ever calls her Elizabeth in the show.

MoonEye apologizes for his behavior, kinda. "Sorry, but I have to take my rage out on someone, or it will eat me alive!" Despite this wankiness and the continued poor spelling the apology is accepted with a fair amount of grace and good-naturing teasing until Birdo shows up again with some rage of his own to splurt all over the thread, once again after everyone else has stopped replying.

You were not missed by me, and may the lord have pity on your soul... please die soon.

Your good friend,
Birdo

6:10pm: Not-So Mini LotR Wank
Not-So-Mini LotR wank on rugbytackle (The LJ version, not the JF version). Usually a peaceful, smutty community, but nothing is safe from Teh Wank!

In case the entry gets deleted, I'll be cutting & pasting most of the stuff here. It used to be short, but is now getting longer as the offended party proceeds to rip apart *everyone* who posts in the thread, including people not even *talking* to her. Childish name-calling, accusations of trolling, homosexuality, and bashing a slash community for hosting only *gasp* SLASH fanfics - what this wank lacks in quantity, it makes up for in quality.

( Someone posts a rec for a Thorongil & young Boromir fic )

Seems like an ordinary enough post, until the comments start rolling in.

( Someone disagrees with the rec. )
( Friend of the author jumps in. Includes accusations of jealousy, homosexuality and vague threats. )

( The beta-reader of the fic jumps in. Includes self-censorship, random lol attached at the end of the rant, and name-calling. )

ETA: The Plot Thickens! The author sees the thread and ( I am LEAVING Live Journal for good! )

ETA 2: And the wank keeps flowing. ( firnwingiel attempts to give some constructive criticism, but gets smacked down for being defensive and part of the clique of attack dogs (or something). )

ETA 3: Ah, and what wank would be complete without a deleted post? To see the deleted comment, click here for the screencap, courtesy of crickets.

ETA 4: Wow. I wake up this morning and the wank has fully exploded.

( More ranting & raving from the author, overreacting to every post as if it was directed towards her. )