Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:24am: I'm not beardy at all! *strokes beard*
All of this takes place on the official Black Library Forum. Black Library is a subdivision of Games Workshop, which makes the Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 games. They are little metal toy soldiers that you paint and then move around in a vague battle-like way while shouting stats and waving rulers.

Yes.

So, first, we have a kid sayin' what one of the guys at his store told him. Random little fanwank, no big harm, right?

"The GW staff members you know need to be shot for their stupidity, and for breeding sad little half baked ideas among the younger GW goers."

Your standard sad bastard reply, right?

The publisher gets involved, which leads to a very lovely reply, which includes the following:

"First off, I'd love to know where in the seven hells you get off calling me a beardy gamer? To my recollection, not only have we never met face to face, we've never played a game and thusly you have NO basis for calling me a beardy gamer. Wonderful compliment to a reader who's purchased every G&F, Space Wolf, GG, and short story collection the BL has ever put out."

Wow. Dude. Have you noticed you're contradicting yourself?

2:08am: Hi. Long time reader, first time reporter?

Adventure Game Studio is a freeware adventure game authoring tool for those fans of old school adventure games. The site also doubles as an archive of games produced using the engine and a variety of forums to help out developers.

One of the forums is dedicated to announcements of new games. On January 1st, Jodo Kast announces that a demo for a remake of the game Laura Bow in Colonel's Bequest is available on KaZaa. Bryce complains about a lack of access to the game, which Erpy provides while griping about Kast's insistence of the use of KaZaa for downloading the game. Kast still insists on KaZaa, to which Erpy comments that since so many people have had issues downloading the past, clearly KaZaa is not a viable solution.

Kast gets a little pissy:

Erpy: Quit causing problems.

Later, we find out that Bryce STILL has not gotten the beta by e-mails. (The wank, it seems, has been kept to a minimum by AGA, who was "deleting posts that weren't relevant to the game." Nutbunnies.) Bryce asks relatively benignly (though somewhat irritably) for instructions on how to reach the link.

Kast: The demos are on Kazaa. Why insist on whining about what I am - or am not - doing for you? I am not your personal slave.

Wanking ensues. Highlights: Kast and Erpy duking it out, a fake demo created by LucasFans to mock Kast, general confusion as to Kast's attitude and one random anon flame:

hey jodo
get bent, you flaming pile of stinky cow manure
sincerely
fakename

The thread's locked now, but AGA says he'll open it when Kast has an update. Stay tuned.

3:14pm: Fandom Scruples
fandom_scruples is making a list and checking it twice. 'Gonna find out whose naughty or nice...

It seems that arabe1la's little rant may have inspired others to come forward against the kiddie corrupting cesspool that is the HP fandom!

This journal is asking for nominations for those in the fandom who've been good little fanfic writers and have politely locked away their naughty Dobby/Twincest Epics, and for those who have been TEH NAUGHTY.

Of course, we have the first nominee, epicyclical, because clearly they cannot leave her out of their little plans even though they claim they pay no attention to her.

Yes.

Browsing the Scruple's f-list proves to be fruitful as we get to hear from:

tartanboxers who is very stupid confused.
perceval who takes, um, well, a different approach on how to rid the mind of such pollution.

*sniffs* Lordy, I love my fandom.

3:48pm: Manga wank
Here we have a self-proclaimed manga "elitest" who's a fan of the original, untranslated versions of manga. Only she doesn't so much declare her love for Japanese manga as she does her intense dislike for American translations of manga and the people who read them.

It's an old argument, but a classic: manga sucks now because it's popular, and you're a lazy illiterate schlub if you can't read Japanese. The wankage is really just in the original post, as the rebuttals are more or less reasonable and courteous. To be fair, the original poster makes some valid points, but then goes and blows her credibility by alienating virtually all English-speaking manga fans.

Heh, I also like how she thinks that people who "right your japanese authors and singers names the 'american' way" are being unfair to her.

I guess the rest of us weren't all cool and "special" or "punk" enough to discover these things in advance the way she did. Yeah, like something instantly loses its value the second it gets popular. Personally, I'm ecstatic to see Shounen Jump for sale in the supermarket, because I remember how hard it was to get any manga I could understand a few years back.

Update: The original entry is gone, but I saved it for posterity.

6:54pm: Newbie, and LOTR Movie Wank
'Lo. *waves* I've been lurking here awhile, but tonight I found a wank of such incredible and hilarious pomposity that it screamed for me to come out of lurking and share. Just for starters, I sort of consider myself an 'old-school' Tolkien fan, and grumbled for a while about things I didn't like in the movies but then, you know, went on with my life. I have a theory that the wankiest wank among LOTR fans is to be found not among fanfic writers but among oldschool fans who can't stop whining about things they didn't like in the movies. And by whining, I don't mean "complaints about feeling like the movies didn't do some characters justice" (coughfaramircough) but rather The Wank That Ate Cincinnati.

( Warning: grab a rag to wipe the spooge off your screen. )