Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:38am: GRAH
Is small so far, but will probably explode overnight

Sorry for yet MORE yaoi wank, but jeez...

And the thing is, the OP wasn't being THAT wanky either. It's just when she and a couple other users started arguing... *sigh*

2:06am: OMG, there are GAY PEOPLE on American Idol!?
Over on the American Idol LJ comm, eclecticartist has had the gall to state the painfully obvious: contestant Bre Ramirez-Rial is a - gasp! - lesbian. To add to the growing evidence (boyband hairstyle, complete lack of bra, penchant for suspenders, general demeanor that is more butch than Ryan, Clay and Simon put together though that's not saying much), he points to the fact that her official show bio page says she doesn't like any male singers. At all.

Fawning political correctness immediately ensues!

And some people are still really, really in denial.

supafly seems to think that the only reason anyone would ever bring this issue up is because they are h8erz and homophobes "homophobics."

eclecticartist proceeds to set her straight. So to speak.

This is one that I'm sure promises to be an ongoing fandom meta-wank if she makes it to the top 12, which I think she's got a good chance at doing because she's really quite good, and also kind of histrionic, which always goes over well with FOX viewers. =) Plus, it's unlikely we'll hear from her if she's gay or not until she's off the show and out of FOX's clutches, since they actually contractually forbid their gay and lesbian contestants from outing themselves until the show's over. So I'm predicting this controversy will turn out to be Spawn of Bob, the Clay Aiken Sexuality Dead Horse.

No, I'm not rubbing my hands together in gleeful anticipation, why do you ask?

12:17pm: Wank in the making, slowly starting from now on...
http://www.livejournal.com/community/rabidfanssuck/35263.html

We have our standard complain round about the rabidness of some yaoi fangirls who whine because Seki and Koyasu don't just play gay boys in animke or CD dramas.

But just look at this entry...

( Translation: Me liking yaoi makes me so high and mighty that I can look down on you! And I don't care if they're canonly in a straight relationship, I'll just ignore it for the sake off fantasy! )

Sheesh, people!

1:13pm: Happy-fun dot_cattiness wank!
In which one poster informs us that fanfiction doesn't count as writing. People disagree with her. She gets defensive. They get defensive. There is much name-calling. Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern are Not Only Dead But Now Beaded As Well is thrown about by both sides, and of course Shakespeare, Star Trek, and Harry Potter have been brought into it as well.

The wankery doesn't end in that thread, though, but is drug through two more threads (so far), with the original poster patronizingly reminding everyone of the warnings on the community info in the third thread.

Oh, and of course, no fanfiction wank would be complete without several people bringing up plagiarism and the dictionary definition of it. I fully expect to see Hitler and those bitches from high school show up.

It's really turning out to be quite a beauty.

(By the way, this is my first report, so please give it to me hard use lube.)

5:44pm: Everywhere you look, everywhere you go, there's a wank...
We've all seen the "OMGWTF I DUN NO U TAKE ME OFF UR FRIENDSLIST BITCH" wank in the past, and we've all seen the brilliant, moving late 80s/early 90s TV masterpiece Full House. Today, they come together in one gloriously surreal wank.

Meet steph_tanner and kimmyxgibbler. They're two (or possibly one with two journals) bored girls who just want to make friends. So they add many random LJ users to their friends list.

People get upset.

(Oh, and apparently there's also a _michelletanner, but she's attracted less wank thus far.)

Because when I think of Full House, the first thing I think of is trolling on Livejournal.