Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:59am: Since no one else has written this up yet:

guardian_writer, in a now-locked post, stated that even though she writes slash, she is against gay marriage and doesn't believe in homosexuality.

bnfshavemorefun (wayfairer on LJ) responded at length in her own journal, stating quite eloquently why she finds guardian_writer's position offensive and hypocritical.

Most of the many responses to Aja's post are positive, but there's definitely wank to be found:

See lightnote_blend compare homosexuality to pedophilia, wax poetic about the grand 12,000-year tradition of heterosexual marriage, and claim that Aja stating her own opinion in her own livejournal proves she's against free speech! The mean-spirited and completely irrevelant jab at Aja's fiction is just icing.

See deathkiss explain that accepting two men kissing is not the same as letting them pervert the holy tradition of matrimony!

See ceresi claim that Aja should not name the person she's responding to, because Aja is a famous person and other people in fandom might think less of guardian_writer because Aja disagrees with her (this one's not so much wanky as baffling - how exactly is Aja responsible that people might think less of someone for something they themselves publicly said?)

And then see guardian_writer whine completely illogically in her own LJ implying that her First Amendment rights have been violated:

Well.
I never thought I’d get wanked for my opinion. That’s nice to know that Amendments only apply when they agree with your means. Beyond that I can’t say anything that won’t be considered wanky or whatever. Yes I’m upset, no I’m not crying and I don’t think that the response I’m getting is merited. And I’ve never wanked one single person here for their beliefs. I’ve stayed silent, against my own judgments. That being said...

I’ve always seen it as, if you are opinionated enough to state your opinion on the net, no one else is going to change your mind, so why even bother with debates for the most part...its like beating your head into brick wall.

I’m taking a break for a while until this blows over. I’m sorry that I’ve offended people, that was never my intention. I still respect your opinions even though it feels like you do not respect mine.

11:03am: Rufus Wankwright.
"For those of you who are die-hard Rufus fans and can't stand for anything he does to even be minutely crticized, I don't reccomend you read any further..."

Dear Rufus Wainwright,

Please stop breathing and having political opinions.

Love,

A. Wanker

P.S. Okay, maybe you can have political opinions after all. BUT NO BREATHING.

P.P.S. BOW BEFORE ME AVERAGE CITIZEN!! I R TEH SMRT!!!

2:58pm: Head meet desk or more fine XFiles wank
I don't want to post this, but I saw it and my brains are now slogging around in my head because after 11 years of being an Xphile and lurking (and sometimes sadly participating in) the internet fandom something finally broke in there.

The Snoggers of the Sanctum Board at war with the DDFanatics at war with the Haven

There is also this thread on the Snoggers board where the ever talented Pippy (whose life's mission is to convince the world that Gillian Anderson is a horrible mother because she is divorced and has shared custody of her daughter) is brought down a peg or three.

I swear my fandom makes me laugh. Because otherwise I'd cry. Hard.

3:06pm: Homosexuality is TEH EVOL, now where's my recording of Mame?
This may be more appropriate for otf_wank, let me know if it should be moved.

Musicals.net is a flaming cesspool of wank in the theatre fen community. Among the spoogey brethren of fifteen year old teenies and other dregs, who ocassionally have someone make a decent point and attempt a real conversation, there is The Wankiest Wanker in Wankerdom, one Evan. Evan is famous for ad hominem attacks and slinging slurs with absolutely no provocation, but for once, the wank really isn't on his side.

In the miscellaneous section of the forum, Evan posts an OT remark apparently clarifying his sexuality, after some rumours apparently started going around that he was *gasp!shock* bi. There's a few pages of the usual insults with no bearing in reality being tossed around, and people asking why Evan cares if people think he's bi. It's not until a few pages in that the homophobia starts spewing forth, including a fascinating comment that gays and straights are okay, but bis are evil, disgusting degenerates (look ma, I'm a degenerate, woo!). This continues for TWENTY THREE PAGES, amidst begging to lock the thread, a copious amount of bible thumping, yet more straw men and ad hominem attacks (including a nice long wanky debate on whether homosexuality is a choice). It's too long for anyone to read without gouging your eyes out, I suggest sticking to pages three to twelve.

I will never get over the irony of the homosexuality wank being on a theatre board. Really, it's too good.

3:33pm: More GAIA Wankage
*sighs deeply and hangs head* I'm ashamed to admit that I actually not only participated in this, but I pretty much came all over it.

http://ian.go-gaia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=984051&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Now, granted, I didn't come in until page thirty...three I think?, but it's the good ol' HOMOSEXUALITY IS WRONG DAMNED WRONG YOU EVIL EVIL GAYSSSSS!!! wankage. *coughs* Or something to that effect.

The wank starts off with Hazy declaring all gays and lesbians unnatural, and is shortly replied to by kittyboitoy with "and you should be raped by your mother". It pretty much degrades from there.

The one you should really take note of, though, is Anti-n00b,(around page thirty-something) and his interaction with Audioslave, where they have a full-out brawl and then call each other childish. Of course, Anti-n00b just acts like a prat to everyone overall, but that was the part that really cracked me up.

...and you should ignore Els-chan entirely. Please. For the love of god...just pretend she isn't there.

So, um, yes. There you have it. Baby's second wank.

4:03pm: Holding out for a Hero?
Dear god, it's finally happened. The *SMALLEST* fandom I can think of has been wanked.

"My Hero" is a Britcom about a superhero living on Earth, played by Ardal O'Hanlon. Some find it funny.

Others, as we learn, do not.

the My Hero comm on LiveJournal has got trollers.

Bear in mind this comm has about six members, and is posted in maybe once every two/three *MONTHS*.

Moronicabbage posts about how O'Hanlan is, and I quote, "a cunt".

Then just a few hours later, Belly_Belly posts saying that O'Hanlan should be ashamed of himself.

*sigh*

10:20pm: Haven't seen THIS before.
Queer Eye For the Straight Guy wank.

Because straight "womyn" should not in any way lust after or wish in any other way for a chance to bang any member of the Fab Five. Because they are doing wonderful things for Teh Gay. Therefore only gay guys should fantasize or lust over them, obviously.

*snort*

11:58pm: *gulp* First time posting...
I've brought some HP/Icon Wank for you, which also incorporates Hitler, free speech, and brave anonymous folks leaving OMGWTF posts. In other words, a typical week in Potterland.

hlfchcknhlfsqrl (now there's a genetic code for ya...) posts an icon that just *begs* for wank by using a new image of Hermoine with her right hand up, and the caption "all hail Hitler!!" The fun begins as people are outraged, outraged I tell you that someone would post something of such poor taste, and request/demand its removal. Finally, someone gets the bright idea that perhaps the icon wasn't referring quite to Hitler himself, but to actor David Thewlis's rather Hitlerish look as the quite beloved Professor Lupin.

But it doesn't die. Since everyone basically calms down and gets over it after that, an anonymous troll shows up and bitches everyone out for being pervets and p(a)edophiles and distributing kiddie pr0n via LJ icons. Which, of course, has NOTHING to do with the initial post at all! *blink*

*coughandisooodidn'tpostaspooficontoamusemyselfcough*

Nothing huge, but fun when you get right down to it. What makes it remarkable is that the OP never once came back to defend herself or anything. Fascinating.