Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

8:00am: A tiny Erinblair XF Wank
Our little pal Erinblair is at it again over at the fic board at The Haven. This time it's her usual cry for attention in a thread asking about self-promotion.

Oy.

And despite the usual extremely gracious responses by other fic posters she just.doesn't.get.it.

12:45pm: God has spoken
Twiggymolly is defriending people in the Harry Potter fandom because she has found God.

People begin to take bets on whether it is an April Fools' Day joke or not.

Aja Romano chimes in: Jesus hung out with hookers and crackheads, so you can too!

Irinaauthor apologizes for using so much profanity, she had to be defriended.

And, Canada is evil.

7:01pm: My Fic R0><0r! STFU! I'm leaving the fandom!
Once upon a time a prolific author received (her first?) criticism in her guest book, which she thoughtfully reproduced on her ( livejournal: )

Her fans leap to her defense, defending their mistress and threaten the miscreants who dared insult their ( bewuvved. )

This goes on for a bit, and things settle down but then, wait – OMG MORE PEOPLE CHIME IN AGREEING WITH THE CRITICSM!( !!!! )

Hellfire and damnation! Morgana fights back! As we all know, in this situation there’s only one thing to do:
Threaten to leave the fandom:
You know what?

I am going to take a looooong break.

Nothing I do or say seems to be 'right' so why bother when no one is listening?

Signing off...

Don't expect me back for quite some time. I need a break from this fandom. I hope everyone is pleased now. No more fan fic from Morgana. Maybe the critics can take over and produce some fics as they seem to know better?

bye
morgana


Crying ensues...well, kinda

Morgana decides she can’t totally abandon her fans. Shocked, shocked I say.


*In the interest of full disclosure I do write in this fandom, but, like the other fandoms in which I participate in, I’m slow to update and stay in my corner.</i>

9:22pm: Will the wank never end?
Remember the trainwreck that two girls caused in the BitofEarth community, leaving behind a huge financial mess for other fans to clean up?

Well, it's not over yet.

This time, Turimel decides to wank Sean Astin after receiving no replies to her e-mails concerning the situation.

Everyone talks about what a saint Sean is. Well, you know what? People are like tea bags. You see what they're made of when they get in hot water. You take Sean out of a sea of adoring, complimentary fans, and put him in a difficult real-life situation, and you know what? Mr. Concern For Others can't be bothered to say "Thanks." Or, God forbid, offer to help resolve the situation.

Wait! That's not all! Let's see the comments posted to the LJ!

Notable ones:
How dare you chastize Sean Astin (and others, but most particualrly Sean) because they won't dance to your tune and align themselves with your neurotic witch hunt.

You need to get some kind of professional counseling to help you get past all this before it does even more damage to your life. Your problem, now, isn't Abby and Jordan. Your problem now is YOU.

And as far as dealing with difficult real-life situations, since you have no true understanding of what it is he actually goes through in his real life (and neither do I, for that matter), you have definitely misspoke about his ability to cope with what YOU have termed a "difficult real-life situation".

Wank on, LOTR.

11:08pm: I...can't....
...can't...speak... I just... *babbles incoherently for a few minutes and makes crazy hand gestures*

I don't know if this has been posted before, but...GOD, WTF is this indeed!?

Of Self-Hating Fen and Time Wasters, or, The Fandom Wank, in Two Movements

Oh, God, it's so beautiful I don't know where to begin...

—And we're the time-wasters as well as being pretentious and insincere. Oh yes. The Fandom Wankers refuse to believe that anyone could really care about such things. They are offended by the very idea that strangers could take things that don't interest them seriously enough to get into semi-private heated arguments about the topics. Not only are they offended enough to mock the concept, it is itself a concept outside their pea-brains, that we could have been having this debate (these debates, rather, as like all symposiae it diverged into overlapping segments) in all sincerity, and not to impress some fictional audience (after all, we didn't know that Azusa was lurking there, or who is/was or isn't, unless/until they jumped in and started arguing) or to "make ourselves look intelligent" (again, to whom?) by giving ourselves airs…

And later...

But the Fandom Wankers don't let anyone who doesn't already belong to their community, the JournalFen setup, to post there. And to log in to JournalFen, you have to be friends with someone who has already been made an Initiate of the Circle, rather like joining a secret society (is there a JournalFen handshake, I wonder, or what would the net equivalent of one be? Some sort of ASCII art?)

Just pick a paragraph, ANY PARAGRAGH!

Now, one particularly interesting thing about all the Fandom Wankers, is that they are extremely narrow-minded in their focus. They don't seem to fully realize that there is a wider world out there than their own particular fandom, despite their stated aims of mocking those who take fandom too seriously on a panfandom level. Instead, they each mistakenly believe that their own fandoms are the worst, the only circles of human civilization filled with such pettiness and concern for issues of such triviality (q.v. Azusa's rants on anime fans.)

And:

But the poor Fandom Wankers are stuck in their circles of private hell, obsessing over the behaviour which offends them, and doing absolutely nothing creative8 about it (well, they can't, since what offends them is nothing specific, really) but puffing themselves up with spiritual pride over this negative status as universal critics — when they merely are like the Bandar-log, the howling monkeys of the Mowgli stories, envying the world of sentients, first seeking to mimic it, and then in spite mocking it when they cannot accomplish it themselves, for their limited attention spans and abilities.

On the meaning of the word 'wank':

(...)some total stranger calling gtst's self "Aja" informed us, with a cute little smiley and an obliging link, that we had "been wanked," — an incomprehensible, unparseable statement by any idiomatic useage of the word. This resulted in my current familiarity with the Fandom Wank entity, (and a certain amount of bawdy humour at the Fandom Wankers' expense.) Because the Fandom Wank does not seem to understand the irony of their situation, namely that although they use the word "wank" as a kind of slang shorthand for everything which they disapprove of or condemn as pointless (which makes it essentially useless as a scientific term in this context)

And my personal favorite...

Now, is this article, in turn, a waste of my time?

*wipes tear from the eye* It's...so...beautiful! *falls to her knees...and quietly weeps as a light washes over me*

I have reached it! I can touch it! Orgasm Wank Nirvana!

(First-time poster. Apologies if it was posted before...it was just too hard to resist...)

11:43pm: 2 mini LOTR wanks
First post, took me a while to get a code and I've just had these two wanks licking my balls for a while to post here. First the fresher wank;

Shanelle posts her dislike of a certain colour bar that states 'fandom chat makes you gay'.

Beizy comes to the rescue.

It's a joke...a pretty well-known joke, actually. You know, all the girls in the room, how they end up mock-snogging and "marrying" each other, that sort of thing... Nothing to be taken seriously.

crazybutsound also agrees it was distasteful.

Too bad it ended so soon.

This one is old, but she is so ridiculous.

Merrilytookish goes postal about someone 'stealing' her 'idea' to make a Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan bot at runabot.com. Apparently, it was her present to the fandom. She acts like a BNF even before rimming BNF-like status.

Okay, now the more and more I talk/think about this, the more and more pissed I'm getting.

Interesting. Because she makes two more ranting/sympathy begging entries. Here, and here.

For someone who doesn't want to deal with the situation or talk about it , she sure does ramble on and on and on and on etc.

Anyone interested in her "work" she spent weeks on:

BillyTheScot and tehdombot on AIM.

The parody (and much more amusing): h0rdombot.

ETA It has come to my attention that there is a 'MsAllegrobot'. HA.